E8 - The Guilty Child

From Homeless to Mansion

What happens if the only constant in your chaotic world is abruptly removed... in handcuffs?
This is the night everything changed.
The adults were upstairs getting high, so it began with another night of trying to sleep in a car. The red and blue lights lit up the night to rescue a neglected kid. Did it really save me, though? Or did it just throw me from the frying pan to the fire?
I take you straight into that moment. Raw, real and unfiltered.
The terror of being woken up by police flashlights.
Watching my mom, my anchor, being arrested.
The guilt I carried, believing it was all my fault.
Moving in with a father I barely knew and his girlfriend, a woman whose violence and volatility created a new kind of danger.
But this isn’t just a story of trauma — it’s a story of survival and the silent scars of being the invisible kid no one checked in on.
My father's feeble attempts at normalcy, enrolling me in Cub Scouts and Taekwondo, only highlighted how different my life was from other children's. As an introverted, anxious child who'd never known stability, these activities became another source of alienation rather than belonging. Each awkward social interaction and failed attempt at fitting in served as a painful reminder that I existed in a world apart from my peers.
The most enduring pain, however, came from the burden of misplaced guilt. For years afterward, my mother continued to remind me that her arrest was my fault—if I hadn't been sleeping in that car, none of it would have happened. As a child, I accepted this blame without question. But this episode serves as a powerful reminder for anyone who has carried similar burdens: it was never your fault; children are not responsible for the failures of their caregivers.
If you've been made to feel guilty for situations that weren't your fault, I'd love to hear your story. Reach out with a message or comment so we can remind each other that the guilt many of us carry simply doesn't belong to us—and it's time to let it go.

Click here to send me a message! There's no way for me to respond unless you give me your contact info, but I will absolutely read it and may even feature it in the next episode!