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Ep. 103 From Loss to Light: Finding Meaning After a Child’s Death
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In this frank and poignant conversation, I sit down with psychotherapist and author Sally McQuillen, who shares the deeply personal journey behind her debut memoir Reaching for Beautiful, A Memoir of Loving and Losing a Wild Child written in honour of her 21-year-old son Christopher, who tragically died in a boating accident in January 2016. With me (Vonne) now 20 years into my grief as a bereaved mom and Sally 9 ½ years into her journey, together we explore the long road of healing after child loss in this heartfelt discussion to inspire and help parents who have lost a child or are parenting “in fear”.
Sally discusses the emotional toll of parenting a child with addiction, the deep fear that often accompanies such parenting, and how her faith became a guiding light through unimaginable loss. The conversation highlights the importance of forgiveness, letting go of guilt, and the role of spiritual practices in helping anyone bereaved find meaning and peace in their loss.
Together, we unpack the layered impact of grief on surviving children, the crucial role of self-care, and how different types of loss - such as suicide, sudden or expected death can shape our bereavement experience. We open up about our spiritual connections with our children, and the comfort we’ve found through mediumship and faith, and the enduring power of love and gratitude as essential to both of our healing processes.
This episode is a powerful reminder that while grief may never fully go away, we can still find purpose, connection, and joy on the other side of deep sorrow if we allow ourselves to find all that we can in our loss experience.
As Christopher often said to his mom and I would suggest now imparts this as a major life lesson for us all:
“Life is honestly so beautiful, as long as you allow it to be.”
Connect with Sally:
https://www.sallymcquillen.com/
Connect with Vonne:
Podcast Ep. 8 “The Myths and Truths of Suicide” Links:
Audio:
https://www.buzzsprout.com/2021182/11230104
YouTube:
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Chapters
1. Welcome. (00:00:00)
2. Introduction to Sally and book overview. (00:01:00)
3. Sally's Motivation for Writing the Book. (00:05:28)
4. Parenting in Fear and the Impact of Social Media on Our Health. (00:09:46)
5. Sally's Personal Journey and the Role of Faith in Grief. (00:18:22)
6. Care of Surviving Children and Self-Care. (00:37:46)
7. The Importance of Letting Go and Finding Meaning After Loss. (00:59:15)
8. The Impact of Suicide in Grief vs. Other Deaths. (01:03:32)
9. Final Thoughts and Encouragement. (01:09:32)
10. Christopher’s message. (01:10:48)
11. Sally’s Resources and Closing. (01:13:10)
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