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Debunking Bad Marriage Advice: With Guest Monica Tanner
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Relationship and intimacy coach Monica Tanner joins us to unpack the damaging marriage advice many of us have accepted as truth. Drawing from her seven years of podcasting experience and three years exclusively coaching couples, Monica reveals why seemingly innocent phrases like "happy wife, happy life" and "don't sweat the small stuff" actually create disconnection and resentment in relationships.
Monica shares details about her upcoming book, "Bad Marriage Advice: Debunking Myths That Will Make You Miserable and What to Do Instead," which evolved from a heartfelt letter to her soon-to-be-married son. The conversation digs into why telling couples "divorce is not an option" often backfires, removing motivation for growth rather than strengthening commitment.
The most practical segment focuses on Monica's three-step formula for making effective requests in relationships. Instead of complaining about what you're not getting, she teaches how to identify what you want, make your request "stupidly easy" to fulfill by being specific, and show gratitude for any progress. This approach transforms communication patterns and creates positive momentum in relationships.
We also explore the powerful garden metaphor for marriage—how beliefs planted by others in our childhood need tending, weeding, and sometimes complete replanting as we grow and face life's transitions together. Monica emphasizes the value of seeking relationship support before crisis strikes, sharing stories of proactive couples who establish relationships with coaches early in their marriages.
Whether you're struggling with communication issues, feeling disconnected, or simply want to strengthen an already good relationship, this episode offers practical wisdom for creating a marriage where both partners feel valued, heard, and cherished. Ready to transform your relationship? Listen now and discover how to replace bad marriage advice with strategies that actually work.
Monica Tanner Guest Information
Monica Tanner, RLT trained, Relationship Coach and host of the Secrets of Happily Ever After podcast, transforms marriages with simple communication, connection, conflict resolution and commitment strategies. Her mission is to lower the divorce rate and improve marital satisfaction. Through her engaging podcast, new book, Bad Marriage Advice, vibrant social media community, and couple’s coaching practice, Monica's expert guidance has impacted thousands of couples, by helping them ditch resentment and roommate syndrome and get back to living their happily ever after love story.
website: https://monicatanner.com
book: https://badmarriageadvice.com
podcast: https://secretsofhappilyeverafter.buzzsprout.com
Have you gotten on the waitlist for my new book - Bad Marriage Advice? You can do that HERE!
Please follow me on instagram and facebook @happilyevenaftercoach and if you want to see what coaching is all about I offer a free 45 min. clarity call via zoom.
Email me: [email protected] for any comments or questions.
Thanks for listening, please like and review as well as share with your family and friends.
My website is www.lifecoachjen.com
Chapters
1. Introducing Monica Tanner (00:00:00)
2. Debunking Common Marriage Myths (00:04:44)
3. The Problem with "Don't Sweat Small Stuff" (00:10:35)
4. Making Effective Requests in Relationships (00:14:24)
5. Tending Your Relationship Garden (00:19:30)
6. The Value of Neutral Third Parties (00:25:35)
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