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173: Why Putting People on Pedestals Destroys Relationships
Manage episode 502360243 series 2920413
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Have you ever put someone on a pedestal only to feel devastated when they tumbled down? Pedestals seem harmless—even positive—but they create dangerous dynamics that fuel betrayal, secrets, and delayed healing.
As a trauma-informed life coach who survived betrayal myself, I've seen firsthand how the "perfect spouse" or "golden child" syndrome sets everyone up for failure. The person elevated feels immense pressure to hide their flaws, while those doing the elevating face earth-shattering disorientation when the inevitable fall occurs.
I share ten powerful reasons why pedestals harm relationships, including how they prevent accountability, create toxic family secrets, and complicate the healing process after betrayal. The stories from my own journey—from calling my ex-husband "church dad" to discovering his double life—illuminate the real damage these perfection illusions cause, especially to children who sense something is wrong but can't name it.
This episode offers a refreshing alternative to perfectionism: embracing our shared humanity where mistakes don't define us. I explain how being the "world's okayest mom" creates space for authentic relationships and genuine healing. You'll learn practical approaches to navigate difficult truths with loved ones, set appropriate boundaries without punishment, and build connections based on honesty rather than illusions.
Whether you're recovering from betrayal or simply want more authentic relationships, this conversation will help you recognize harmful pedestals in your life and take steps toward deeper connections built on truth. Ready to exchange impossible expectations for genuine relationships? This episode shows you how.
Please follow me on instagram and facebook @happilyevenaftercoach and if you want to see what coaching is all about I offer a free 45 min. clarity call via zoom.
Email me: [email protected] for any comments or questions.
Thanks for listening, please like and review as well as share with your family and friends.
My website is www.lifecoachjen.com
Chapters
1. Introduction to Happily Even After (00:00:00)
2. The Danger of Pedestals (00:02:12)
3. How Secrets Damage Relationships (00:04:47)
4. The Impact on Children (00:10:06)
5. Redefining Respect After Betrayal (00:16:26)
6. Final Thoughts and Call to Action (00:19:53)
226 episodes
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