You Are Not What They Say You Are: Rebuilding Confidence After Betrayal

Happily Even After with Life Coach Jen

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Have you ever looked in the mirror after betrayal and wondered what's wrong with you? That crushing sense of inadequacy might be the most painful emotional aftermath of an affair or significant breach of trust. But what if I told you this inadequacy isn't a fact about you—it's just a thought pattern you can change?
In this raw and illuminating episode, I dive deep into the psychology of post-betrayal inadequacy and how it shapes our healing journey. Drawing from both professional expertise and my own 26-year experience with betrayal trauma, I unpack why we so often internalize our partner's actions as evidence of our own deficiencies, despite all logical evidence to the contrary.
We explore the powerful "model" framework that reveals how our thoughts about circumstances (not the circumstances themselves) create our feelings, actions, and ultimately our results. Through contrasting examples, you'll see how the exact same comment from a partner can lead to either a spiral of self-doubt or an opportunity for growth and compassion—depending entirely on what thought you choose to believe.
The breakthrough realization? Confidence is the antidote to inadequacy. Not brash arrogance, but quiet, grounded self-trust that allows you to distinguish between facts and others' opinions. I share practical ways to build this confidence after betrayal, including stretching beyond your comfort zone, embracing both your strengths and weaknesses, and taking small but significant steps toward independence.
Whether you're in the fresh pain of recent betrayal or still carrying the weight of inadequacy from past trauma, this episode offers a compassionate roadmap to reclaiming your sense of worth. Because the most important relationship to rebuild after betrayal isn't the one with your partner—it's the one with yourself.
Ready to transform feeling "not enough" into knowing you're more than enough? Listen now, and take your first step toward living happily, even after.

Please follow me on instagram and facebook @happilyevenaftercoach and if you want to see what coaching is all about I offer a free 45 min. clarity call via zoom.
Email me: [email protected] for any comments or questions.
Thanks for listening, please like and review as well as share with your family and friends.
My website is www.lifecoachjen.com

Chapters

1. Introduction to Betrayal Healing (00:00:00)

2. Understanding Inadequacy (00:02:41)

3. The Model: Thoughts Create Results (00:06:03)

4. Building Confidence After Betrayal (00:08:57)

5. Taking Action to Grow Confidence (00:15:12)

6. Embracing Imperfection and Moving Forward (00:20:48)