25 | Why Wasn't I Good Enough For My Ex? The Real Reason Your Breakup Feels So Painful

Her Love Upgrade - Break Toxic Cycles, Heal Heartbreak, Healthy Relationships, Cure Anxious Attachment, Boundaries, Red Flags

Ever wondered why your breakup hurt so much — even when they weren’t right for you? In this episode, we explore the real reason behind your pain: the unmet childhood needs that confuse safety with love. You were never "not enough" — and this shift will set you free.
What if the pain of your breakup isn’t really about them at all?
What if it’s about a much deeper, older wound — one you’ve been carrying since childhood?
In this potent episode, I’ll guide you through the hidden reason your breakup hit so hard — even if the relationship was toxic or unfulfilling. Spoiler: It’s not because you weren’t good enough.
It’s because, like so many of us, you were unknowingly chasing the feeling of love — which your nervous system confused with emotional safety and connection.
We’ll explore:
💔 Why you may still be subconsciously seeking external safety that feels like love
🧠 How your childhood survival patterns became adult relationship struggles
🚩 Why you’re attracted to emotionally unavailable or inconsistent partners
🔥 The shift that sets you free: dating from joy and wholeness, not need
💡 How to stop confusing temporary relief with lasting love — and reclaim your worth
This is the missing piece you’ve been searching for.
The wake-up call your subconscious has been hinting you need.
You were always lovable, even when your early life didn’t reflect that truth.
💫 If this resonates, please share it with a friend who needs to hear it — and leave a review so more women can find this work.

🧠 Want to go deeper? Explore coaching, therapy, and healing support at
👉 www.herloveupgrade.com/coaching
Let’s get you closer to the love and life you truly deserve -

Remy xox

✨ STEPS TO BEGIN YOUR LOVE UPGRADE ✨

1️⃣ Subscribe to the podcast for weekly episodes.
2️⃣ Join our free community of like-minded, supportive women:
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3️⃣ Ready to heal and attract aligned, healthy love? Learn more & book your first session:
www.herloveupgrade.com/coaching

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Intro/Outro Track: Sweet Memory by JayJen & Enine