#75 How to: Frequent Business Travel, Parenting and Partnership – with Daniela Draugelis

Holding the Fort Abroad

Synopsis:

As the spouse of a World bank executive for over 30 years, Daniela Draugelis has experienced firsthand the unique challenges and growth that come with raising a family while navigating extended work travel, often more than 100 days a year. Daniela is an intercultural trainer, a certified professional coach and cultural intelligence facilitator with over 20 years of experience living and working across cultures. Today, she helps expats, diplomats and internationally mobile families thrive through coaching and training that blends cultural intelligence, energy, leadership, and deep personal insight.

• In the children’s early years, Daniela’s husband was absent for periods of travel lasting 4-5 weeks, repeated absences from when children were newborns to age six or seven. Later years: transition to more local/domestic weekly travel; changes in family rhythm
• Emotional and Practical Impact of Early Years Absences
• Daniela’s experience of isolation: living outside her home country, lack of support system, balancing professional life, childcare, and household responsibilities during husband’s absences.
• Impact of child’s health condition (breath holding spells) on couple’s decision that Daniela would pause her career to focus on her child’s health.
• Importance of local friendships and informal support networks Examples of reaching out to neighbors for help (especially during illness)
• Using calendars and stickers to help young children understand the duration of absences Rituals for departure and return: airport drop-offs/pick-ups as a family routine. Managing children’s expectations and emotions around time and connection
• Brief conversations with young children. Mainly Daniela’s husband consistently made the effort to be involved with children’s lives and to never miss major milestones
• Navigating Reentry and Shifting Dynamics
• Jet lag and fatigue upon return
• Challenges for Daniela switching between solo-parenting and co-parenting
• Maintaining authority and involvement for both parents
• Establishing and Preserving Father-Child Bonds
• Deliberate decision to let “fishing” be a special dad-and-children activity
• Creating unique touchpoints for father-child connection that persist into adulthood
• Children’s current relationships with their father
• strong bonds
• no lasting resentment
• In children’s older years, the rhythm of travel changed. Availability of household help, school routines, and after-school activities easing stress for Daniela
• Focus on family time during reunions, sometimes at the expense of couple time
• Reflection on the need for intentional couple routines and conversation
• Challenges in maintaining both professional and marital identities for Daniela
• Daniela’s return to Personal and Professional Fulfillment
• Volunteering, skill-building, and staying engaged while not formally employed
• Transition into new career as a coach and intercultural facilitator
• Hindsight and Lessons Learned
• Wish for more guidance and support in earlier years
• The value of not feeling alone, and building routines for smoother transitions
• Importance of discussing changes and keeping the traveling partner updated on family life

Resources mentioned in this episode:

The ICAN Model, developed by Dr Ken Canfield stands for Intentional Involvement, Consistency, Awareness, Nurturing, This model works well for parenting at a distance and can be supported by both parents.

Read more about it here How the ICAN Model Helps Families Stay Connected When One Parent Travels - Rhoda Bangerter

How to contact Daniela Draugelis

Connect with her on LinkedIn

Visit her website: Cultural Pathways

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Buy the book: Holding the Fort Abroad

Your partner's job opportunity in another country seemed like an exciting idea, but lengthy work assignments mean you're holding down the family fort - alone.

OR Your partner is working and living in another country, and you feel like you are shouldering all the home responsibilities alone.

You may be wondering:

• How can we be a family when we're miles apart?
• Can I cope, alone, when troubles arise?

I believe there are answers to the above questions, and the answers start with you. In this context, it's more important than ever to invest in yourself, to care for yourself, to set your own goals and to watch yourself grow. Equally important is to nurture your relationship with your partner and learn to parent together.