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#53 When People Don’t Get Your Growth — And Start Offering Opinions
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Growth changes you — and shifts your relationships. Learn why others may not fully understand your recalibration, and how to stay aligned without shrinking or over-explaining.
You’ve stepped into alignment. But while you’re growing, some of the people around you are quietly struggling with your shift.
In this episode of Identity-Level Recalibration, Julie Holly unpacks why relational resistance often isn’t about misalignment — it’s about predictive social coding. As your identity recalibrates, others may instinctively try to pull you back toward the version of you they feel safest with.
Julie shares a personal story of navigating this tension — how well-meaning people questioned her decision to walk away from stability — and how ILR helped her stay grounded without resentment or shrinking.
This episode reframes relational resistance not as a sign you’ve moved too fast, but as natural friction created when your nervous system recalibrates faster than others’ expectations.
In This Episode, We Cover:
- Why relational pushback is common during identity shifts
- How predictive social coding creates relational discomfort
- Why others’ concern often reflects their nervous system safety, not your misalignment
- The core ILR distinction: identity-first recalibration vs behavior management or conflict skills
- Julie Holly’s personal experience of stepping away from external success
- The Richard Branson example: staying clear on alignment others can’t yet see
- The difference between shrinking for safety vs standing in grounded clarity
- How to stay kind, clear, and aligned when others don’t understand your growth
Today’s Micro-Recalibration:
Ask yourself:
- Where have I been minimizing or softening my growth — to make others more comfortable?
- What would it look like to stay steady — without defensiveness or self-doubt — fully grounded in who I’m becoming?
Reframe: Relational tension may not mean I’m off track. It may mean I’m growing where others haven’t yet arrived.
If this episode gave you language you’ve been missing, please rate and review the show so more high-capacity humans can find it.
Explore Identity-Level Recalibration
→ Follow Julie Holly on LinkedIn for more recalibration insights
→ Schedule a conversation with Julie to see if ILR is a fit for you
→ Download the Misalignment Audit
→ Subscribe to the weekly newsletter
→ Join the waitlist for the next ILR cohort
This isn’t therapy. This isn’t coaching. This is identity recalibration — and it changes everything.
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