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106 When the ‘Good’ Kid Isn’t Fine
Manage episode 476908146 series 3450867
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Sometimes the child who seems “fine” — quiet, cooperative, and academically strong — is actually the one silently struggling.
In this deeply personal episode, Andi shares what she recently discovered about her one son's hidden stress responses and executive functioning challenges, despite being the so-called “easy” kid of her two kids.
She walks through the emotional rollercoaster of guilt, the importance of slowing down, and how “doing well” on paper doesn't always mean everything is okay underneath.
Key Takeaways
- Just because a child is quiet, compliant, or “gifted” doesn’t mean they aren’t struggling emotionally or cognitively.
- The turtle stress response (shutdown, avoidance, compliance) can hide significant executive functioning challenges.
- It’s easy to skip foundational skills when we’re anxious to “fix” the problem — even when we know better.
- Support begins with understanding where your child is truly struggling, not just reacting to behavior.
- Academic success doesn’t automatically reflect emotional regulation or executive functioning strength.
- Slowing down and building skills step-by-step is the real shortcut to lasting change.
Episode Highlights
[00:01:00] – What it means when the “good kid” isn’t actually fine
[00:03:00] – The gifted child who won the “Silent but Deadly” award — and what it masked
[00:05:00] – Signs of executive functioning struggles hiding beneath compliance
[00:07:00] – When guilt kicks in: The parenting moment Andi didn’t expect
[00:09:00] – Why compassion and collaboration beats punishment
[00:10:00] – Learning ladders: Meeting kids where they’re actually at
[00:13:00] – Helping kids in school when executive functioning is the issue
[00:15:00] – Real-life changes that helped Andi’s son thrive
[00:17:00] – Reframing school as executive functioning training
[00:20:00] – A focus tool from Peak Mind by Amishi Jha that actually worked
[00:21:00] – Letting go of grades as the only measure of success
[00:23:00] – Why helping your child succeed means seeing what’s really going on
Resources Mentioned
Book: Peak Mind by Dr. Amishi Jha – A science-based guide to improving focus and attention: https://amishi.com/books/peak-mind
Self-Assessment Form – Understand hidden executive functioning and emotional struggles: Click here to access: https://subscribepage.io/big-emotions-self-assessment
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