108 Beyond Behavior: What’s Really Going On

Kids with Big Emotions Podcast

Website: 🌐 www.andiclark.com

Support Circle Membership: https://andiclark.thrivecart.com/support-circle/

Self Assessment form: https://subscribepage.io/big-emotions-self-assessment

Book a 30-Minute Call with Andi – Get your questions answered and explore next steps: Book here: https://tidycal.com/andi1/bookacall

If your child has ever been labeled as dramatic, difficult, or lazy… this episode is for you. Andi breaks down the most common behaviors reported by over 60 parents who filled out the Kids With Big Emotions Self-Assessment—and reveals what’s really going on underneath.

This isn’t just about behavior. It’s about root causes, hidden struggles, and executive functioning challenges that often get missed in schools and misunderstood at home.

Key Takeaways

• Behavior is the tip of the iceberg—executive functioning is often what’s underneath.
• Kids aren’t being difficult on purpose. They’re often overwhelmed, misunderstood, or unsupported in key areas of brain development.
• Sensitivities to sound, clothing, and transitions may be signs of deeper processing challenges or superpowers that need support to shine.
• Many kids labeled as lazy, disorganized, or disruptive actually have struggles with working memory, attention, or impulse control.
• Shifting from judgment to curiosity helps uncover patterns and truly support your child’s needs.
• The self-assessment form is a powerful first step to uncover what’s going on beneath the surface.

Episode Highlights & Timestamps

[00:00] Welcome & overview of the parent self-assessment results

[02:00] What 66 parents revealed—140 out of 180 average checkmarks

[03:00] Big emotions, meltdowns, impulse struggles—what the numbers say

[04:00] Why behavior-based discipline often misses the real problem

[05:00] Sensory sensitivity as a superpower—and why it needs support

[06:45] Trouble learning from mistakes? This might be why.

[08:00] Why schools often miss what’s really going on

[09:15] From behavior to brain: what to look for underneath

[10:30] Start tracking patterns—what triggers overwhelm or shutdowns

[12:00] Writing struggles, masking, and misunderstood learning differences

[13:30] Why executive functioning assessments matter

[14:30] What to say instead of “Why didn’t you do this?”

[15:15] Helping your child feel understood and supported

[16:00] Speaking the language of executive functioning in IEPs

[17:00] Concrete examples: working memory, impulsivity, perception

[18:00] Tools, links, and next steps for parents ready to dig deeper

Resources Mentioned

Kids With Big Emotions Self-Assessment: Click here to get the form: https://subscribepage.io/big-emotions-self-assessment

Executive Functioning Podcast Series

• Ep. 85 Perception: Emotional Regulation 101: https://open.spotify.com/episode/2TNuHQyoCA9VhiSOWWqRSG?si=PWEUzBd9STKiJ1pKDBiCJg
• Ep. 86 Attention: Struggles Aren’t Always ADHD: https://open.spotify.com/episode/16DRPoFWy78XlLvmCDF0kW?si=lTaIMc3lQPCuHVHuttTU0Q
• Ep.88 What is Working Memory? Part 1: Verbal Working Memory: https://open.spotify.com/episode/3Vavf1BBwLwORkai5ZIwcX?si=0Z-n6cRkSEquqJ2b6tYPOg
• Ep. 89 What is Working Memory? Part 2: Non Verbal Working Memory: https://open.spotify.com/episode/4Ygbn1LqDNrvL9MPDydkDp?si=KwdSPvC-QdeIXKWt-WMQ9A
• Ep. 90 Inhibition: Helping your child navigate impulsivity: https://open.spotify.com/episode/3eZWomMOv5V7emtZrClYlU?si=6Vlvgod5QFiqhhpwMBXm4Q
• Ep. 93 Initiation: Why Getting Started Is Hard For Some Kids And How To Help: https://open.spotify.com/episode/695CBuXzpx0juVy08VKmDO?si=85Ql0vAJRPqlai-68_CRZw
• Ep.94 Cognitive Flexibility: Why Perfectionism and Inflexible Thinking Go Hand in Hand: https://open.spotify.com/episode/3adl8y66voFQL5lrvKLFFn?si=cqnK67s_RdSMI_6qVJ-ubg

If this episode spoke to you, take five minutes to go through the assessment—it’s the first step to seeing your child more clearly, with less blame and more understanding.