#229: Why Do Boundaries Make Me Feel Worse? How to Set Limits Without Losing Love

Love Shack Live: Helping Couples Rescue Their Relationships

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Ever set a boundary in your relationship, only to feel more misunderstood, guilty, or disconnected than before? You’re not alone. In fact, so many of us try to draw healthy lines, only to end up in new arguments, feeling shut out, or wondering if we’re doing something wrong.

Welcome to Love Shack Live, the podcast for anyone standing at a relationship crossroads, feeling the gap widen, and searching for a way back to genuine, lasting connection. If you’ve tried to “set boundaries” and it just made things messier, you’re in the right place.

This week, we’re asking:

• Why do boundaries sometimes make us feel worse, not better?
• What’s the difference between a boundary and a barrier?
• And how do you set limits that protect your heart, without pushing your partner away?

Join relationship mentor Staci Bartley, along with Tom and Brooke, as they bust common myths about boundaries, share the real skills for setting limits that heal, and reveal what it takes to speak up for yourself and stay connected.

Curious to know why boundaries backfire, and what actually builds lasting trust? Listen in. This conversation might just change everything.

Timestamps:

03:25 Physical Boundaries as a Metaphor

07:00 Emotional Boundaries and Compassionate Cruelty

16:49 The Misconception of Rigid Boundaries

26:26 The Story of Emma and Jake

27:53 Silent Resentment in Relationships

28:53 The Weight of Disregarding Yourself

29:50 The Illusion of Connection

33:24 Common Boundary Violations

36:37 Emotional Regulation and Boundaries

43:53 The Importance of Vulnerability

45:20 Practical Steps to Better Boundaries

47:55 Final Thoughts and Resources

🎯 Want to go deeper?

• Take the $9 Self-Assessment here: https://stacibartley.com/separation-survival-kit/space-communication-playbook/
• Start the 30-Day Roadmap and stop spiraling: https://stacibartley.com/self-paced/30-day-roadmap
• Get community support inside the Better Love Club (available as an add-on with the roadmap)