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How to Handle Conflict and Build Trust in Modern Leadership
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Today on the McCoy Leadership Podcast, I sat down with Brenda Neckvatal—three-time bestselling author and award-winning human results professional. Brenda shared lessons from her wild HR journey, from crisis management to navigating generational shifts in the workplace. She broke down why understanding core values is essential for effective leadership and how emotional intelligence can prevent workplace drama. Plus, Brenda gave us her best communication tools, like the power of “help me understand.” If you want to elevate your leadership game, this episode is packed with practical insight and real-world advice you can use right away.
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00:00 Handling Workplace Crises Professionally
03:44 HR Evolution: Generational Leadership Shift
09:04 Predictable Differences in People
11:05 EEO Over DEI: A Hiring Perspective
13:35 Discrimination Claim Despite Qualifications
18:29 Endless Arguments; Move Forward
20:29 Flexible Executive Decision-Making Approach
24:32 "Daily Acts of Kindness"
28:57 CarMax's Customer-First Core Value
31:02 Effective Leadership Evaluation
34:53 Fair Leadership and Customer Focus
39:23 Identifying and Managing Excuses
41:15 "Coach's Teaching Moment"
46:10 Advice for Future School Leaders
50:05 Gen Z Trust Challenges
52:45 Subscribe & Get Episode Worksheets
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Here are my top 3 takeaways from the episode:
Lead with Principles, Not Preferences: Brenda emphasized the importance of leaders anchoring their decisions and interactions in core values and company principles. It’s the foundation for consistency, fairness, and building trust within teams.
Emotional Intelligence Is a Crisis Prevention Tool: Handling difficult personalities and high-stress situations requires more than policy knowledge. Reading the room, managing your own reactions, and approaching conversations with curiosity (her favorite script: “Help me understand…”) can de-escalate drama and create space for genuine resolution.
Accountability Defines Culture: One powerful stat Brenda shared—out of 40,000 managers, over 38,000 admitted to NOT following through on accountability. If leaders don’t hold people accountable, dysfunction and culture erosion are inevitable. Brenda’s advice: “Just do it—even if it’s awkward.”
Brenda also offers free “Impact Scripts” for having those tough workplace conversations—an awesome tool for anyone looking to level up their leadership communication. (Check her out at heybrenda.com!)
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Links
Brenda's Website
Book Recommendation
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