#24 Why Doesn't She Want Me? Dealing With Rejection, Perfectionism & Blaming Ourselves

Mental Health And Men's Health With Hearts Wide Open

In this episode we tried something new! If you're able to, definitely check out the video version of this episode on Spotify or YouTube, because we're PAINTING as we have this conversation about a variety of thought-provoking topics that we as young men are faced with. It helps us a lot, if you take a moment to let us know what you think about this new format.

This week Soroosh asked himself why he obsesses about the reasons why someone rejected him after a date. We're sure you can relate, if you ever asked yourself: Why am I not good enough for her? or why doesn’t she want me?

Why do we obsess about these questions? Why is this person able to make me question my entire being even though she may not even know me well enough to judge me.

Oftentimes this makes us feel left out and alone, without a good reason as to why. "I'm just not good enough for her." Does it actually matter, if we knew why we got rejected? What would it change, if the outcome (the rejection) is this the same? So do we need to find out why we got rejected

Does it make sense to want an answer so I can improve myself for the next person? Would it maybe help me save the relationship with this person? In dating: When is it helpful to know the reasons for rejection and when is it not?

As Soroosh and Dennis complete this freestyle painting, they share from their own personal experiences and impressions with this topic and end up also touching upon the relation with the topics of perfectionism and blaming ourselves. They're having a vibrant discussion on the pro's and con's of perfectionism and living a life with a perfectionist mindset while blaming ourselves for our numerous shortcomings in the eyes of everyone else.

Want to join our online men's circle? You can put yourself on the waiting list by getting in touch with us (see below). We're launching soon!

Have a question, a guest in mind who should be on our podcast or a topic that you think we should cover related to men's mental health? Send us a voice message on Spotify, DM us via our Instagram ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@hearts_wide_open_podcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ or simply mail us at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ If you're enjoying the podcast, your 5-star review really helps us amplify the voice for men's health and motivates us to lead by example in showing that men can open up space where it's okay to be vulnerable and authentic.