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The Truth About How Divorce Affects Children
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Our scars from childhood can follow us long into our adulthoods, and they often manifest in ways we may not realize or fully understand. In this episode of Never in Reverse, Doug and Jeremy discuss their childhoods as children of divorce, and the fear of abandonment that resulted from their childhood struggles. This insightful conversation focuses on emotional growth, security, and healing.
Jeremy and Doug begin by discussing their parents’ divorces. Divorce was different in Doug’s family and in Jeremy’s, and both learned from their parents’ experiences and carried traumas with them. Next, they explore how coming from a broken home can lead to fearing abandonment, and what healing has looked like for them.
For detailed show notes, navigate using the time stamps below:
[0:00] Introduction
[2:52] Today’s episode topic is near and dear to Doug and Jeremy: growing up with a divorced parent. This can be a touchy topic, particularly as the feelings you experience as a child manifest in unexpected ways as an adult.
[4:55] Doug’s parents divorced about a month before his fifth birthday. They were very transparent about what was going on, and Doug never felt that it was his fault.
[8:22] Doug didn’t feel any toxic pressure from his parents during the divorce. His parents were very young and did the best that they could.
[10:32] Jeremy grew up in an unsafe environment due to his parents’ divorce. He found refuge in his friends and in sports.
[15:01] Doug always viewed his father and stepmom as a safe place, so they proved his fear of abandonment wrong. However, there were still elements he missed in his connection with his mom.
[18:09] Jeremy still struggles with his fear of abandonment. He found some safety in his stepdad’s family and in his Aunt Diana.
[25:55] Doug and Jeremy sometimes still have unrealistic expectations of their parents, specifically their mothers, stemming from their childhoods.
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