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50 Years of Jaws, Sir Simon Milligan’s Dire Prophecies, and Chris’s Prized Rodney Allen Rippey Photo
Manage episode 486656799 series 3563989
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Jeff and Chris crack open the Nice Pull! liquor cabinet and, instead of expired Zima or a 7-inch from Loggins & Messina, they find Kids in the Hall legend Kevin McDonald inside — reprising his role as Sir Simon Milligan, emissary of darkness and Costco prophet of doom. He drops predictions about canine world leaders, facial hair extinction, and his own fear of a rescue dog named Alaska. Just another Monday in hell.
But this episode doesn’t stop at absurdist Canadian prophecy — oh no. Jeff and Chris take a deep, fin-first dive into the 50th anniversary of Jaws and relive every trauma, trivia bit, and pop culture ripple that movie unleashed in the summer of 1975.
Highlights include:
· Jeff’s Ocean Terror Origin Story™: He recently swam in the open ocean. Voluntarily. We’ll wait while you gasp.
· Chris’s Book-Fueled Trauma: He read the Jawsnovel before puberty and can’t unsee the crabs crawling on Chrissy Watkins.
· Spielberg at 27: The man directed a culture-shifting horror movie before he could rent a car.
· The Mythbusters Ruin Everything Corner™: That exploding air tank ending? Total nonsense. But we still cheer every time.
· Jaws vs. Star Wars: Chris throws down the cultural gauntlet, declaring Jaws the true OG blockbuster. Come at him, nerds.
· A Parade of Ripoffs: Grizzly, Orca, Piranha,and Tentacles — the Dollar Store cinematic universe Jaws accidentally created.
· Rodney Allen Rippey returns: This time, not just as a Pull — but as the focus of a verified 1970s photographworth 100,000 points. Eat your heart out, Bigfoot.
Also discussed: food replicators that don’t exist, Violet Beauregarde’s gum-based doom, Merv Griffin’s sexy little “ooh,” and why Emmett Kelly might be the most problematic clown since John Wayne Gacy.
This one’s got The Kids in the Hall royalty, killer sharks, childhood trauma, and the single greatest novelty song about a talking shark in broadcasting history. (Yes, Mr. Jaws gets airtime. You’re welcome.)
NOTE: If you don’t walk away from this episode with a primal fear of both ocean water and polyester leisure suits, you weren’t listening.
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