You're Not Listening to Me! The Truth About Miscommunication

Off the Fence with Karen Covy: Mastering Decision Making, Divorce & More

When you're trying to have a serious conversation but it keeps going sideways, it’s not always what’s being said that’s the problem. More often than not it’s about how you’re listening. In this podcast episode, communication expert and professional listener Deb Porter breaks down what it really means to feel heard and how most of us have never been taught to truly listen.

With a background in pastoral counseling and a business built around deep, empathetic listening, Deb shares her journey through caregiving, divorce, and ministry – as well was the lessons she learned along the way. Deb powerfully explains why she believes real listening – listening that picks up on both the message and the emotion behind it - is the missing ingredient in so many personal and professional relationships.

Deb also introduces her simple but powerful CORE Framework that helps people stay grounded and present in tough conversations. She explains how emotional regulation and clear intentions can change the way we connect with others, even in high-stakes moments like parenting conflicts or discussing divorce.

Whether you're talking with your spouse, your team, or your kids, Deb’s approach gives you the tools to create more meaningful conversations and stronger relationships.

About Deb

With a Master's specializing in Care & Counseling and experience in critical caregiving and divorce, Deb founded HOLD to provide the kind of support she once needed. As a professional listener and communication expert, she helps individuals find clarity through confidential listening sessions and teaches effective communication skills through courses and business training. Deb’s work focuses on fostering connection, empathy, and understanding—helping people feel truly heard in both personal and professional settings.

Connect with Deb

You can connect with Deb on LinkedIn at Deb Porter and on Facebook at Hearing Out Life Drama. You can follow Deb on Instagram at Hearing Out Life Drama and on her YouTube channel at Hold Listens. To find out more about Deb’s work please visit her website at Hearing Out Life Drama. You can find Deb’s guide, Thriving Through Divorce: Finding Peace, Purpose and Joy on her website here.

Karen Covy is a Divorce Coach and Consultant, Lawyer, Author, and Speaker who is dedicated to helping people make the best decisions possible for themselves, their families, and their future - especially in stressful times. You can check out Karen's videos on YouTube.
You can connect with Karen on LinkedIn, Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and on her own website at karencovy.com.

Chapters

1. You're Not Listening to Me! The Truth About Miscommunication (00:00:00)

2. Introduction to Professional Listening (00:00:10)

3. What Is Active Listening? (00:08:47)

4. The CORE Framework for Better Communication (00:13:36)

5. When Communication Breaks Down (00:22:06)

6. Speaking to Be Heard (00:27:06)

7. Breaking Through Miscommunication (00:31:10)