#70 THE EPISODE OF OUR LORD

Pour Choices Show

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Bubble Guts, Grape Lies, and Modeling Poses (No Homo) 💩🍇🕺🔫

On this episode of The Pour Choices Show, we go from philosophical to feral in record time.

We kick things off by warning the general public: don’t dish it if you can’t handle the comeback—especially if you think a gorilla could take 100 men... Then we tackle the real mysteries of the universe:

🍇 Why does grape-flavored stuff taste like purple chemical sadness instead of, you know, grapes?
☁️ Where does the sky actually start? (We Googled it. Still don’t know.)
🪥 Do you brush with warm water like a Victorian ghost or cold water like a psychopath?

Then things spiral:

🦢 Chris watches a teen girl sprint after a goose – and no, that’s not a euphemism.
⚖️ We debate the death penalty like we’re running for office, but with more jokes.
🏫 A hometown homicide makes things awkwardly real in the middle of our giggling spree.

Also on this cursed menu:

⚾ Minor League Baseball teams with names like "Trash Pandas" and "Biscuits"—because sports need chaos.
💀 Guessing historical event names like “The Night of the Long Knives,” which sounds like a Saw sequel.
🏈 Drafting our Olympic flag football dream team—because the NFL in the Olympics is a totally normal thing now.
🥷 Rudy vs. Radio: same movie, different disabilities.

And of course:
🎂 Birthday shoutouts to celebrities who 100% don't know we exist
🍚 White rice vs. brown rice – aka “The Great Colon Debate”
🍻 This Week’s Pour Choices: Beer that tastes like regret and foam
🚪 “There’s no place like home”...unless you’re murdered there
🕺 We close with the Pour Choices Modeling Show, where we strike a pose that says “I peaked in 8th grade” (still no homo… unless you want there to be)

This episode is like mixing an AP History class with bathroom graffiti and serving it on a paper plate at your cousin’s parole party.

Now let’s make POUR CHOICES! And as always, don’t forget to LIKE, COMMENT, & SUBSCRIBE!

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Chapters
00:00 – INTRO
2:58 – IF YOU DON'T WANT THE SMOKE, DONT START THE FIRE
6:04 – WHY DOES GRAPE FLAVORED STUFF TASTE LIKE PURPLE AND NOT GRAPES?
9:31 – HOW HIGH UP DOES THE SKY START?
11:11 – SENIOR QUOTES
15:02 – DO YOU BRUSH YOUR TEETH WITH WARM OR COLD WATER?
18:30 – FUNNY MINOR LEAGUE TEAM NAMES
26:29 – WILD GOOSE CHASES & BUBBLE GUTS
29:45 – THE DEATH PENALTY
33:11 – HOMOCIDE HITS CLOSE TO HOME
40:39 – BAD JOKES
43:50 – GUESSING ODDLY NAMED HISTORICAL EVENTS
54:10 – BUILD YOUR 5 MAN OLYMPIC FLAG FOOTBALL TEAM
59:41 – NFL PLAYERS GETTING PRIORITY IN OLYMPICS
1:03:53 – RUDY VS RADIO
1:05:36 – HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
1:08:44 – WHITE RICE VS BROWN RICE
1:13:23 – WOULD YOU RATHER?
1:18:13 – THIS WEEK’S POUR CHOICES
1:19:42 – ASK REDDIT - WHAT'S A HOUSE RULE THAT YOU HATED AS A CHILD, BUT SWEAR BY NOW?
1:25:51 – THERE’S NO PLACE LIKE HOME
1:29:24 – ASK REDDIT – WHAT IS A SAYING THAT JUST ISN’T TRUE?
1:34:24 – POUR CHOICES MODELING SHOW?
1:36:29 – OUTRO

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