RE 514: A Drinking Problem is Totally Normal

Recovery Elevator

Episode 514 – A Drinking Problem is Totally Normal

Today we have Erin. She is 50 years old from Denver, CO and took her last drink on August 21st, 2023.

Registration for Dry January is now open. This is our most intensive course, and it’s all about accountability. If you’ve been trying to quit drinking and haven’t found success, it’s most likely you’re not surrounded by the right people or don’t have community. Over 70% of our Restore Dry January participants report making it through January without taking a drink.

Café RE is the social app for sober people. We meet over 30 times a month online with our daily chats covering all different topics or specialty chats. If you’re looking for accountability with others who are ditching the booze or have already done so, we’d love to have you.

[02:48] Thoughts from Paul:

Paul’s opinion is that a drinking problem is a normal response to living in a culture that has completely lost its marbles. Most anthropologists believe that addiction is a modern phenomenon that stems from how we are living as a culture.

Eckhart Tolle in his book A New Earth says that what we have labeled as “normal” regarding our culture is actually completely insane.

Gabor Mate recently wrote The Myth of Normal about how our culture is toxic and right for addiction. According to Dr. Mate, addiction isn’t a disease but a completely normal response to living in a fucked-up world.

Your drinking problem is not your fault. It is a response to a fractured world. You found a solution, a way to cope and it worked for a while. As Laura McKowen says, “it’s not your fault but it is your responsibility”.

Listening to a sobriety podcast is part of you taking that responsibility.

[08:08] Paul introduces Erin:

Erin is 50 years old and divides her time between Colorado and Costa Rica. She has been married for 26 years and they have three college age children. Erin has a yoga business where she films YouTube videos, hosts retreats and does yoga teacher training.

Erin says her drinking was “normal” throughout high school and college. After graduating from college, she and her boyfriend moved to Maui and had jobs in the restaurant industry. She still feels her drinking was normal compared to her friends and lifestyle.

They soon moved back to Colorado, got married and started a family. Erin didn’t drink throughout her pregnancies and didn’t feel she was missing out initially. After moving into a neighborhood with other young families like there, drinking became a social activity, and Erin began to recognize she drank more and had a higher tolerance than others.

In her mid-forties, Erin started going through perimenopause and it was hard on her. She began using alcohol to self-medicate. Because of her job, she felt she was living out of alignment with her values. In spite of her drinking being a huge topic with her therapist, she was not ready to seek treatment. She attempted to quit on her own and says she white knuckled for five months before going back to drinking, quickly back to where she was before quitting.

When her husband and her friends tried to intervene, she was angry. They had already arranged everything, and Erin ended up going to rehab and in spite of her fear, ended up being a great experience.

Erin says they focused on healing the whole person, and once she realized for the first time that she was not alone, she felt the shame and fear lift. It was a small community, and they participated in a lot of modalities for healing. The education was a helpful part of the process.

Erin dove into books, podcasts, attended AA meetings, and joined Café RE which she considers her primary resource. Erin says her yoga practice has contributed to her healing.

Erin’s parting piece of guidance: If you are thinking you can’t do it, you can. It’s possible and worth every single second of pain.

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