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What Nobody Told Us About Marriage!
Manage episode 490007676 series 3668909
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How did the fantasy version of love peddled by Hollywood and pop music shape your expectations about relationships? In this deeply personal episode, we trace the evolution of our 28-year relationship from blind romantic mythology to genuine connection.
We begin with the serendipitous way we met—dancing to Tim McGraw at a college event in 1997—and journey through our early marriage, where we mistakenly believed we needed to complete each other. Like many couples, we entered marriage with unconscious programming about what love should look like, much of it shaped by media messages. Remember Jerry Maguire's famous "you complete me" line? We bought into that fantasy completely, along with other harmful ideas from those classic '80s and '90s love songs (which we hilariously sing for you).
The turning point came when we realized our relationship was struggling because we were operating from wounded places, trying to use love as a band-aid for abandonment wounds. Through vulnerable self-work, we discovered that our partners aren't the source of our pain, but the revealer of it—a sacred mirror reflecting what needs healing within ourselves.
Today, we share what we've learned about creating a relationship built on sovereignty rather than codependence. True love doesn't try to change or fix you. It doesn't control, demand, or require reciprocity. Instead, it creates safety for authentic expression and becomes a container for healing rather than a performance of roles.
If you're ready to transform your relationship from a place of survival to genuine connection, join us for our intimate couples retreat "More Than Love" this September, where we'll guide just ten couples through the tools and practices that revolutionized our marriage. Because when love comes from wholeness rather than need, everything changes.
Find Our Couples Retreat
https://holoshealing.info/more-than-love/
[00:00:00] Intro
[00:09:14] Weekend at Cali Vibes Festival
[00:17:05] Beginning Days of Our Relationship
[00:33:09] How Media Shapes Our View of Love
[00:42:37] What We Thought Love Was
[01:03:38] Unconscious Patterns in Relationships
[01:14:50] What Love Really Is
[01:19:50] More Than Love Retreat Announcement
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