1198: Caroline Fleck | Harnessing Validation to Deepen Human Connection

The Jordan Harbinger Show

People crave feeling understood, but rarely get it. Here, psychologist Dr. Caroline Fleck breaks down validation science that transforms how we connect!

Full show notes and resources can be found here: jordanharbinger.com/1198

What We Discuss with Dr. Caroline Fleck:

• Validation goes beyond praise. It's a precise psychological skill set that allows us to communicate mindfulness, understanding, and empathy to make someone feel seen and accepted. To understand the difference, think of praise as applauding the performance, while validation is accepting the performer.
• Research shows that validation literally allows us to endure greater physical pain, suggesting its resilience-building power to help us cope with life's countless difficulties.
• Obversely, invalidation shuts down recall and problem-solving abilities by triggering sympathetic nervous system arousal. On the other hand, validation restores higher cognitive functioning needed for reasoning.
• Validation skills are powerful across contexts — from relationships and parenting to medicine and even interrogations. But keep in mind that authenticity is critical — fake or forced validation doesn’t work and can even feel condescending, especially to teens.
• Validation is a skill you can practice and improve. Nurture a mindset of genuine curiosity by asking yourself "What's this person's point?" Start with small steps like attentive listening, nodding, and reflecting words authentically to build stronger trust and connection.
• And much more...

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