Disagree Without Dividing

The Men's Podcast

Welcome back men! Today we'll be discussing how to debate, or how not to debate, secondary issues!

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Jesus prayed that believers would have unity like he and the Father have unity. He also said that the world will know we are his disciples by our love for one another. There are secondary issues that have been debated by believers for centuries, but there is a right way and a wrong way to do it

• Over the last several years, I’ve taken some deep dives into secondary issues in the Christian faith. I’d call them secondary issues. Some of you might think they’re primary, which is always part of the problem when having these kinds of conversations. I look at issues in four different categories - issues to die for, divide for, debate, or discuss. The reality is that you and I probably don’t categorize everything the same way. Some of the issues I think are worth dividing for you may not and vice versa. When I say divide, I don’t mean choosing one local church over another because of doctrinal distinctives or worship style, or things like that. I’m talking about breaking fellowship with someone who claims to be a Christian but holds a belief that isn’t compatible with traditional Christianity.

John 17:21-23 I pray that they will all be one, just as you and I are one—as you are in me, Father, and I am in you. And may they be in us so that the world will believe you sent me.

John 13:35 Your love for one another will prove to the world that you are my disciples

• Don’t make everything a to divide for issue -
• I don’t think the right attitude is, “well it doesn’t really matter. It will all sort out in the end. It does matter. Someone is right and someone is wrong.
• Truth matters. There is a right answer.
• 1 Corinthians 13:6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
• Proverbs 23:23 Buy the truth and do not sell it—wisdom, instruction and insight as well.

Are you listening?

When you’re discussing a secondary issue with a fellow believer, are you really seeking to listen to them, or just preparing your rebuttal? Do you find yourself interrupting them?

Acts 15:4-12 When they arrived in Jerusalem, Barnabas and Paul were welcomed by the whole church, including the apostles and elders. They reported everything God had done through them. 5 But then some of the believers who belonged to the sect of the Pharisees stood up and insisted, “The Gentile converts must be circumcised and required to follow the law of Moses.”

6 So the apostles and elders met together to resolve this issue. 7 At the meeting, after a long discussion, Peter stood and addressed them as follows: “Brothers, you all know that God chose me from among you some time ago to preach to the Gentiles so that they could hear the Good News and believe. 8 God knows people’s hearts, and he confirmed that he accepts Gentiles by giving them the Holy Spirit, just as he did to us. 9 He made no distinction between us and them, for he cleansed their hearts through faith. 10 So why are you now challenging God by burdening the Gentile believers[b] with a yoke that neither we nor our ancestors were able to bear? 11 We believe that we are all saved the same way, by the undeserved grace of the Lord Jesus.”

Everyone listened quietly as Barnabas and Paul told about the miraculous signs and wonders God had done through them among the Gentiles.

Proverbs 18:13 Spouting off before listening to the facts is both shameful and foolish.

Proverbs 18:2 Fools have no interest in understanding; they only want to air their own opinions.

Proverbs 18:15 Intelligent people are always ready to learn. Their ears are open for knowledge.

What if you’re wrong?

Have you ever taken an honest look at the dangers of being wrong?

• What if you’re wrong? What are the dangers if you are holding onto the incorrect position on a topic?
• Complementarian - missing out on great teachers, not empowering women to fulfill callings and exercise giftings
• Egalitarian - health of the church is compromised because roles are blurred, men are not challenged to step up and lead
• Calvinism - not seeking excellence in ministry because God’s going to save whoever he’s going to save regardless of me, evangelism may take a back seat for the same reasons
• Arminianism - becoming too seeker sensitive, taking too much responsibility and credit for God’s work, always chasing the next big idea
• Eschatology - not living with a sense of urgency that Jesus could come at any moment, Revelation 16:15 Look, I will come as unexpectedly as a thief! Blessed are all who are watching for me, who keep their clothing ready so they will not have to walk around naked and ashamed.”
• Annihilationism - lack of urgency because punishment is eternal

One Trick Pony

Do you find yourself only wanting to talk about a single issue? Do you tend to bring it up in conversations even if the topic is about something different?

Keep the Main Thing the Main Thing

Keep the main thing the main thing. Don’t get so caught up in secondary issues that you miss out on opportunities to share the gospel.

1 Corinthians 2:2 For I decided that while I was with you I would forget everything except Jesus Christ, the one who was crucified.