From Kentucky (Listener Message)

Breaker Whiskey

A message from Kentucky

Atypical Artists production created by Lauren Shippen.

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[TRANSCRIPT]

Hey there, Whiskey. Oh, a while ago my partner sent you a message that said, I still don't know where Kentucky is, and, well, you'll be glad to know, but we finally found it. It's beside Delaware. Let me start over. I've been driving these roads since before I was even tall enough to reach the pedals on my dad's big rig, so I knew where Kentucky was supposed to be. I knew where all the states were supposed to be. That they just aren't there anymore. I mean, they're still there, as in they still exist, but they're not where they're supposed to be. It's like... Someone picked up the pieces of the jigsaw puzzle and shoved them all back in different spots.

Kentucky was the first one we noticed. I was driving south out of Ohio, and as soon as we crossed the border, What should have been the border between Ohio and Kentucky. We found ourselves instead in Tennessee. Now, I chalked it up to a particularly dramatic case of highway hypnosis, or Up to the fact that the drive through Kentucky is just that unmemorable. But then it kept happening. I'd be going north out of Missouri and find myself in South Dakota. I'd head east out of Utah. And end up in Oregon. South from Michigan? I ended up in Maine. Making a map of the changes was pretty much useless, since the landscape seemed to keep shifting. Now, some things stayed consistent. Oklahoma stayed attached to Kansas, although maybe a little too attached. Took two weeks of driving in every direction before we finally got out.

California's still along the coast, and I guess the locals won't give up the beach for anything. I admit in half of Michigan never seems to move, but the Upper Peninsula wanders from time to time. Last month I found it in the middle of Montana. Don't. Asked me how I could tell the difference. And Nebraska? Well, I don't think anybody would notice if Nebraska moved anyway. So we're left to just wander the country, I guess. Kinda like you. Try to keep to a route and track where things are moving. See if there's any pattern. My better half is a knack for these kinds of things, but so far even they're stumped. So we just have to celebrate the small victories, I guess. This is a pretty good one. This morning, we finally found Kentucky. Like I said, it's beside Delaware. Problem is that now we have no idea where the fuck Delaware is.

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