Choosing Your Role Models

The Coach Is In

In this thoughtful episode of The Coach Is In, Irene and Cat explore how we form our ideas of role models—what shapes them, how they evolve, and why it’s essential to remain mindful of who and what we admire. Through personal stories, parenting insights, and cultural commentary, they examine how values, struggle, and visibility intersect to influence both adults and the next generation.

⏱️ Content Highlights & Timestamps

00:00 – Welcome & Why This Conversation Matters

– Irene and Cat reconnect and frame the discussion around the importance of role models in leadership and parenting.

03:12 – Unintentional Role Models: Who Shapes Us Before We Know It

– Irene shares stories from her upbringing in a rural town and how books and biographies shaped her worldview.

– Notable mention: Sirin Phathanothai as a formative influence.

08:45 – The Power of Biographies & Exposure

– Cat reflects on how reading about ballerinas influenced her discipline and appreciation for hard work.

– Discussion on how interests shape identity, even when they differ.

12:30 – Struggle vs. Joy in Identity Formation

– Irene reflects on how Southeast Asian narratives often center on struggle and the shift toward valuing joy and lightness.

– Cat opens up about questioning if her lack of dramatic hardship invalidates her story.

18:01 – Money & Morals: A Complex Relationship

– Irene discusses Warren Buffett and how reading The Snowball helped her see that wealth and values don’t have to be at odds.

– Cat shares concerns about media narratives that portray wealth as inherently corrupting.

24:50 – Visibility Bias: Why Do We See Certain Leaders?

– A discussion on Musk, Trump, and how attention is given to controversial figures.

– The absence of quieter, values-driven leaders in the spotlight.

29:35 – Power, Integrity & Role Models in Parenting

– Cat highlights the importance of helping kids think critically about public figures.

– Strategies for media literacy and value alignment.

34:30 – Speaking Out vs. Staying Silent: What’s the Right Move?

– Irene challenges the idea that silence always equals complicity.

– Nuanced take on how and when to speak out, especially around power and vulnerability.

41:10 – Admiration Without Pedestals: Holding Leaders Accountable

– A powerful distinction between the person and the position they hold.

– Leaders can be flawed humans—and still be worth learning from, so long as we stay critical and connected.

📌 Calls to Action & Takeaways

If this episode resonated with you, here are a few things to reflect on or try:

Think about your current role models. Do they align with your values?

Talk to your kids about the media they consume—who they admire and why.

Share a biography that shaped you with someone younger (or ask them to share one with you).

When admiring a public figure, ask: "Do I admire their values—or just their visibility?"

Practice media literacy at home: Question what’s shown and what’s not.

Help us grow the conversation:

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📤 Share this episode with a parent or leader who’d appreciate a thoughtful take on modern role models

🌐 Resources & Mentions

The Dragon's Pearl: https://amzn.to/3G6SPEp

The Snowball: Warren Buffet https://amzn.to/4nrNzMy

Rethinking Narcissism: https://amzn.to/4loaMgq

Perry Mason: https://amzn.to/4ljSFch

🤝 Connect With Us

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Learn more or get in touch: www.thecoachisinpodcast.com

🎧 The Coach Is In – Honest conversations, practical tools, and fresh perspectives for parent leaders. Because balance might be a myth—but intention is everything.