Unwritten Expectations, Unnecessary Pain

Midlife with Brooke

In this powerful episode of Midlife with Brooke, host Brooke Oniki explores how unspoken rules—our “manuals” for other people—quietly create pain, disconnection, and control in our closest relationships. Whether it’s your child, spouse, in-law, or friend, expecting them to follow a script they never agreed to can erode trust and emotional safety.

Brooke breaks down:

• What a “manual” is and why we all have them
• How our expectations turn into conditions for love and peace
• Real-life stories of learning to let go of control and love people as they are
• 5 practical steps to identify, evaluate, and release your manuals
• The spiritual and emotional freedom that comes from honoring agency

Whether you're navigating adult children, in-law dynamics, or any emotionally charged relationship, this episode will help you reclaim peace, shift your expectations, and lead with faith-based love—not fear or control.

✨ FREE RESOURCE

Brooke has created a simple, powerful worksheet to help you process and release one of your own “manuals.”

👉 Click Get the Worksheet

Reflect and Practice:

• Who do I have a manual for?
• What is this manual costing me emotionally or spiritually?
• Am I loving this person as they are—or who I wish they were?
• How would I show up differently if I honored their agency and focused on my values instead?

Spiritual Takeaway:

True love—like the Savior offers—is unconditional. The more we meet people where they are, the more we reflect divine love. You can have influence without control. You can create safety without surrendering your standards.

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