What If Ancient Egypt Had F1? | King Tut, Legacy & The Afterlife Grand Prix

Trackside Tea

What do King Tutankhamun and Formula One have in common? More than you think.

In this unexpected and delightfully chaotic episode of Trackside Tea, we take you from the London immersive Tutankhamun exhibition straight into the sands of a fictional Afterlife Grand Prix. Golden chariots, mummified fans, and a pyramid-load of F1.

Whether you're a die-hard F1 fan, a history buff, or just here for the chaos.

Subscribe and listen now wherever you get your podcasts — and may your tyres be blessed by Ra himself.

TRANSCRIPT:

Hey. Hey. And welcome back to Trackside Tea. The F1 podcast where the takes are hot, the tea is flowing, and the logic, well, questionable at best.

So this week, I took a little break from the modern chaos of F1 and stepped back in time all the way back to ancient Egypt from Tutankhamun immersive experience in London. At the Excel. It was absolutely amazing. I think it's actually closed now but it probably might do the rounds again.

Now you'd think that this has nothing to do with F1 though wouldn't you? But oh no my brain doesn't switch off that easily. This episode is what happens when you mix ancient pharaohs with fast cars and I promise it kind of somehow works.

The pit lane of the Nile

Now let's set the scene. I was walking through this stunning recreation of King Tut's tomb using a VR headset which is one of the oddest feelings in the world, just putting it out there, when you know lots of other people are also wandering around looking at the same thing as you with other VR headsets on. It's quite a weird experience I have to say.

But all I could think about was if ancient Egypt had a grand prix what would it look like?

Imagine if this was the grid walk for the afterlife Grand Prix.

I mean, picture it. Golden chariots in the pit lane, papyrus flags waving, Horus on commentary, Anubis in a headset calling strategy, and Ra as race control. Because obviously the sun god would have total control over the red lights, no DRS zones, I mean, how would you even work that on a chariot? I'm not even sure I don't even know. They don't even have backs so there couldn't be a DRS.

Anyway, just sand traps and maybe the occasional locust swarm, just to throw in a little bit of a animal twist like the other week.

King Tut. Oh, he's not just a pharaoh. He's pole sitter, of course.

And the fans all mummified, but still booing anyone who dared overtake Tutankhamun on his home track. Sound familiar? I think every race where somebodies got a home track, that's exactly how it sounds.

F1 drivers as pharaohs and what they'd be buried with.

Naturally, this then leads me on to a new obsession. What would each current F1 driver be buried with if they were pharaohs?

Lewis Hamilton for example. He'd be entombed with his McLaren from 2008. He'd have seven world champion titles carved in hieroglyphics on his sarcophagus, vegan incense, only vegan incense, and of course Roscoe. He would be curled up beside him with a little gold collar on.

What about Max Verstappen? Max would be on his own surrounded by oracle dashboards, red ball cans, and a throne made of checkered flags.

How about, Fernando Alonso? Because you all know I have a bit of a soft spot for Fernando.

Three sarcophagi deep, labeled king of comebacks, master of midfield, and unfinished business. There you go. That's Alonso. Definitely Alonso.

Yuki Tsunoda. He'd be buried with a horn to yell at all the gods. And the scroll of grievances against traffic in Monaco. That's definitely gonna be a thing. Definitely.

Oh, I know. Daniel Ricciardo. His tomb is a full on nightclub. It's got to be with showy goblets, neon lights, and a chariot with the words honeybadger for life etched into the sides. That would be very good. That's very Danny Rick.

Oh and maybe instead of curses how they always used to say that Tutankhamun's tomb was cursed everybody died blah blah well a lot of them, a bit of superstition. But maybe instead of curses their tombs trigger silly season rumors when they get disturbed. That would be quite funny.

Maybe that's what's already happened. There's been quite a few silly rumors already isn't there?

So maybe that's what's already happened. The whole Christian Horner and Ferrari. It's like really? Really? Not so sure.

Silly rumors.

What if one can learn from ancient Egypt?

Now believe it or not there are actual parallels between ancient Egypt and formula one. Stick with me here. Don't go away. Stick with me.

Legacy, which is definitely the top one. Tutankhamun was barely 19 when he died and he ruled for less than a decade. He still became one of the most famous names in history. F one is obsessed with legacy too.

Just look at the constant GOAT debates. Schumacher vs Hamilton vs Senna vs Max. Who's going to be the sports Tutankhamun in a thousand years? Who on the current F1 grid is building that kind of legacy?

So you got Max. Obviously, he's trying.

Lewis. He's already a legend.

Alonzo. Do you know what? Alonzo, I reckon he's gonna outlive the pyramids the way he's going.

Pageantry. Egyptians loved a spectacle and so does F1. Pre race ceremonies, fireworks, drama, basically modern pyramid building with sponsorship logos.

The drama and power, court intrigue, political maneuvering fused between dynasties.

Honestly, it's just like a pre race team meeting to be fair, don't you think?

And elaborate rituals. Egyptian burial ceremonies versus f one pre race routines and superstitions.

So maybe, just maybe, we're not that different. Maybe F1 is just ancient Egypt but with less eyeliner and stonework and more carbon fiber and health and safety these days?

You never know.

So I need to know, who's on your afterlife Grand Prix grid? What would Charles Leclerc be buried with? Would Carlos Sainz insist on a sarcophagus lined with red velvet? DM me, tag me, drop me a hieroglyph in the comments.

I'm @tracksideteawithrebecca on Instagram and also @tracksidetea on YouTube as well.

You know what? This might actually be my new favorite crossover. Maybe. Maybe.

So that's almost it for this episode of Trackside Tea. I am going to go and see the F1 movie this weekend. Not a premiere. I'm not a big enough podcaster to be invited to premieres yet, but yes, I'm going this weekend. So I will let you know how I enjoyed it or not as the case may be. I think there's been a few mixed feelings. Some people loved it. Some people thought it was boring. We're going as a family so that should be quite fun. I will let you guys know how we what we all think of it.

I'll get them all to do a little snippet maybe, a little sound bite of their view of the F1 movie.

And now that is it for this very sideways, but absolutely necessary, I'm sure you agree, episode of Trackside Tea.

Next week, we're actually back on track with a dive into the Austrian Grand Prix. I'm off to watch P1 right now. So I will speak to you guys later.

Until then, stay chaotic, stay caffeinated, and may your pit stops be swift and your tyre choice be un-cursed.