Digital Sanctuaries: Creating Safe Spaces in an Unsafe World with John Wilson

Slay Your Dragons - Malcolm Stern

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Breaking free from a religious community that prays daily for the execution of outsiders leaves lasting wounds. But what happens when that same person harnesses their pain to create spaces where genuine connection can flourish?
John Wilson, co-founder of Onlinevents, opens up about his journey growing up as a Jehovah's Witness and the profound impact it had on his capacity for relationship. When his training as a therapist created unbearable tension with his religious upbringing, John eventually left the community, resulting in his excommunication and painful estrangement from family members.
With remarkable vulnerability, John reveals how childhood religious trauma manifests in his adult relationships: "The fear of being abandoned is just completely, incredibly huge for me." Despite facilitating connection professionally, he shares how easily he can "spook" in intimate settings, imagining threats where none exist. His healing journey involves recognizing when a young, terrified part of himself takes over—sometimes as young as three or four years old—and finding ways to soothe that inner child.
The conversation takes a fascinating turn when John connects his personal healing to the creation of Onlinevents. Together with his sister Sandra, he's built a digital sanctuary where people can experience the very safety he lacked. Their platform considers how "the way we are welcomed into an environment impacts the states that we find each other in," allowing transformative connection to emerge.
Perhaps most profound is John's revelation about finding peace with his estrangement: "How I care and love for my parents is not to do with contact. That's something that lives within me." By slaying the dragon of institutional control, he discovered that meaningful relationship remains possible even without physical connection.
Join us for this deeply moving exploration of religious trauma, attachment healing, and the creation of sanctuaries—both internal and digital—where we can find our way back to authentic connection. Share your own experiences with religious upbringing or building communities of healing in the comments below.

This Podcast is sponsored by Onlinevents

Chapters

1. Digital Sanctuaries: Creating Safe Spaces in an Unsafe World with John Wilson (00:00:00)

2. Introduction to John Wilson (00:01:32)

3. Origins of Online Events (00:05:58)

4. Growing Up as a Jehovah's Witness (00:09:26)

5. Impact on Relationships and Attachment (00:16:07)

6. Healing Tools and Personal Growth (00:22:22)

7. Finding Peace Without Contact (00:30:34)

8. Not Being at War Anymore (00:39:10)

9. Closing Thoughts and Gratitude (00:41:20)