68. Fixing the Fight Before It Starts: The SHIT Method That Actually Works

Speak Honest Podcast: Real Talk on Relationships, Attachment Styles & the Work of Healing Childhood Trauma

Ever walked away from a conversation thinking, “How did that go so wrong so fast?”
In this episode, I’m breaking down my go-to tool for untangling communication breakdowns before they blow up into full-on fights. It’s called the SHIT Method—Said, Heard, Intention, Try Again—and no, it’s not just a cheeky name. This is the exact process I teach my clients to slow down the spiral, make sense of what actually happened in the conversation, and get to the root of the disconnect without blame or shame.

We’ll go through real-life examples (like the text that came off too cold or the “Can you slow down?” that turned into a trust issue), and I’ll show you how to clean up the mess in a way that brings you closer—not further apart.

You might want to listen if:

• You find yourself saying “That’s not what I meant!” more than you’d like
• You or your partner tend to get defensive (fast)
• You replay arguments in your head, trying to figure out where it went wrong
• You shut down or lash out instead of saying what you really feel
• You want a clear, compassionate way to repair miscommunication in real time

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DISCLAIMER: Speak Honest podcast content is informational, not professional or medical advice. Jenn is an ICF relationship coach, not a licensed therapist. Consult health professionals for spe...

Chapters

1. Welcome to Speak Honest (00:00:00)

2. Invitation for Free Coaching (00:01:39)

3. The SHIT Communication Method (00:03:32)

4. Car Scenario: Passenger Anxiety Example (00:05:02)

5. Date Night Example and Resolution (00:08:47)

6. Closing and Call to Action (00:13:10)