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Conflict Avoidance and Chaos Gremlins
Manage episode 498939041 series 3302283
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We explore the crucial difference between conflict avoidance and avoidant attachment, examining how avoiding small issues creates bigger problems in long-term relationships. The person who avoids conflict actually controls the relationship dynamic, creating a pressure cooker where ten skipped conversations eventually lead to one explosive confrontation.
• Conflict avoidance is different from avoidant attachment, though they're often confused
• Avoiding issues in long-term relationships causes problems to grow larger over time
• The conflict-avoidant person paradoxically controls the relationship by setting its pace
• Trust requires truth plus timeliness plus completeness—avoidance breaks timeliness
• When we think we're "letting things go," our biology often holds onto tension anyway
• Secure attachment approaches conflict directly with clear communication
• Conflict avoidance can lead to ending valuable relationships when seeing others' pain becomes unbearable
Stay curious and stay uncomfortable.
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Chapters
1. Conflict Avoidance and Chaos Gremlins (00:00:00)
2. Welcome to Speak Plainly Podcast (00:00:35)
3. Distinguishing Types of Avoidance (00:03:16)
4. The Downside of Conflict Avoidance (00:06:04)
5. How Small Issues Become Relationship Killers (00:12:50)
6. Trust Equation: Truth + Timeliness + Completeness (00:17:13)
7. Secure Attachment and Handling Conflict Well (00:23:39)
8. Closing Thoughts and Personal Message (00:29:05)
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