Alive with Wounds

SSJE

“This joyful Eastertide, away with sin and sorrow! … now is Christ arisen, arisen, arisen!”[i] Perhaps you sing this with confidence. If so, give thanks! Perhaps you find this hard to sing because life still feels full of sin and sorrow. Triumph or “death’s flood hath lost its chill” doesn’t ring true. Death and cruelty, sickness and sadness remain in the world and weigh on your heart.

Remember the Jesus’ friends. They didn’t wake up singing alleluias. They were confused not confident, shattered not excited. They often didn’t recognize Jesus. Mary thought Jesus was a gardener. On the road to Emmaus, he seemed a clueless stranger. While fishing, the disciples didn’t realize it was Jesus on the beach.

Jesus’ friends were behind locked doors because of the most frequent description of the first Easter: fear. Fear of what the authorities might do. Fear of what might happen next. Fear along with the grief and trauma, disorientation and overwhelm by loss, shattered assumptions. They were face-first with death, grief, and fear.

Resurrection is not easy to accept. Earlier that day, Mary Magdalene had gone to the other disciples and said: “I have seen the Lord.” They needed to be shown, not just told. Jesus came through the locked door, stood among his friends and said: “Peace be with you.” Embodied encouragement and consoling words are graced gifts. My peace, my wholeness, my shalom is yours. Amid your fear, grief and denial, I love you. Peace.

“After he said this, Jesus showed them his hands and his side. Then the disciples rejoiced when they saw the Lord.” Jesus shows his wounds. Jesus is not simply alive, nor simply God. Jesus is human and divine, crucified and risen, not magically whole but alive with wounds.

But Thomas didn’t see. Thomas wasn’t there. Again, just hearing wasn’t enough. The group didn’t believe what Mary said. Thomas didn’t believe what the group said. Each needed an experience of the risen Christ in person, in flesh. Thomas also asks—on behalf of all of us—for more: “Unless I put my finger in the mark of the nails and my hand in his side, I will not believe.” Jesus comes and offers what Thomas needs, invites him to touch the wounds. Touching wounds changes Thomas, and he proclaims: “My Lord and my God.”

In resurrection, Jesus continues to unexpectedly meet us in the hard. Continues as Jesus was born Word Made Flesh born poor and obscure. Jesus taught an upside down kingdom and died a cruel death. Resurrection comes amid tears in locked rooms, to people face-first with death.

In our loss and grief today, we may believe God is with us, that resurrection is true, and we may not feel it. If you are afraid or grieving, listen to good news. You are not alone. That’s how the first Easter was and how they are for many still. Jesus comes in the midst with peace and love.

Like Thomas, speak your truth. Pray your need for first-hand experience, for touch. Name what gets in the way. Imagine what more Thomas and the others said together in that locked room. Like them, express and be specific about your grief, loss, and limitation.

Like Thomas, speak your truth to and stay in community. Don’t go off alone. Thomas told his companions: this won’t work for me; I need more. Then he waited, and they waited with him … at least another week, which may have felt like ages.

If you are waiting for new life, struggling to imagine hoping for new life, tell a trusted companion or group your experience and let them wait with you. Together, wait and weep to witness the resurrected Christ.

As Jesus comes—and Jesus keeps coming—Jesus looks with love, seeing our lack, sorrow, and fear. “Peace be with you,” Jesus says. “Put your hand in my side.” Consolation, love, and surprising, graphic touch that echoes Holy Week. Remember Jesus reassuring on Maundy Thursday. Jesus washed frightened feet and said: “Love one another as I have loved you.” Jesus taught and showed love with touch. Love by washing feet.

First, let yourself be loved. Like Thomas, show your feet, your need, your imperfection, limitation, your hopes, dreams, doubts, and grief. Be real. Show your wounds to a safe companion. Let yourself be washed, witnessed, loved.

Having received, then take the pitcher and towel yourself. Wait and weep with others. Wash feet. Witness and touch wounds tenderly. Put your hand in her side. Listen to your companion’s pain, doubt, and fear. Speak consolation, encouragement, and grace: Peace be with you.

Slowly, surprisingly, not as expected, we will be shown love alive with wounds, Jesus with us again in our need. We will touch and say or sing: Alleluia! Alleluia! Amen.

[i] Our opening hymn, #192 in The Hymnal 1982.