Step #11 – Keeping in Touch(part 1)

Steps to the Spirit

As a reminder ,this is the 11th step is:

“I seek, through prayer and meditation, to improve my contract with God, praying only for knowledge of his will for me and the power to carry that out.”

This step is taken from the first edition of what is called the big book, or otherwise, Alcoholics Anonymous.

I almost feel like, wow, I finally have gotten to step 11. This is one of my favorite steps. It has been from the beginning, even before I was serious about the 12 step program. I have tried many ways of praying and meditating. None of them seem to work, at least not to my liking.

I know now what I was doing wrong. I always try to force a connection between myself and God. Since then, and especially since I have done the third step with all of my heart and soul. I have discovered what this step means for me. Please note that I say for me. I hope you remember that all of the things that I write and talk about in this podcast, as well as everything you hear in the 12 step program, are suggestions. This program is a bit of a dichotomy because it is both a “way of life” and a “suggested way of life”.

That being said, I would like to speak about the meaning this step has come to have for me. I guess the most important thing that I would mention is that I do not think of prayer in the usual sense that others think of it. I suppose I would say that I simply do not pray in the usual sense of prayer. I do not say anything nor do I try to talk to God in any way. My motive prayer is simply listening. It is not listening as if I were listening to a lecture in school, or listening to someone else in a conversation. The listening I am speaking about is mostly that of dissemination.

My Spirit is always giving me information. The trick (for me) is to try to separate that which comes from my Spirit from the myriad of other things that are streaming through my mind. It is certainly not easy. When I first began doing this it seemed like my head was Grand Central station. There was so much going on as a result of just being a human being and living in this busy and confusing world, that it was almost impossible to focus on anything that might be spiritual. It took me a long time, (I would say six months to a year), before I could clear my clients enough in order to separate my humanity from my spiritual input. Practice, (a lot of it) eventually help me to isolate that which was from my Spirit. Now, after many years of trying to listen, and trying to perfect my abilities to listen for my Spirit, I am better at it, but nowhere near where I would like to be. I have certainly discovered that this turning my will and life over to the care of God requires a lot of work. However, it is the most satisfying work I have ever done.