Breaking the Cycle: How to Access Safety When You're Always in Defense (SNB 234)

Stuck Not Broken

Therapist and coach Justin Sunseri addresses a YouTube comment regarding persistent hyperarousal and difficulty accessing a state of ventral vagal safety. Justin discusses various perspectives and advice from members of his private community, highlighting the importance of small steps, connections with others, and mindful practices. The episode emphasizes the necessity of both internal and external sources of safety, including co-regulation with others and individual sensory experiences. Justin also mentions approaches like validating emotions, normalizing experiences, and incremental exposure to safety cues as critical components to overcoming emotional dysregulation.

00:00 Introduction and Overview

00:16 Reading a YouTube Comment

03:15 Community Insights: Karen's Advice

12:36 Community Insights: Flo's Journey

17:08 Community Insights: Love Day's Experience

19:20 Community Insights: Mandy's Perspective

23:37 Understanding Co-Regulation

24:20 Professional vs. Friendly Co-Regulation

25:17 Using Co-Regulation Mindfully

26:19 Alternative Ways to Co-Regulate

27:35 Reconnecting with Others

29:10 Community Insights on Co-Regulation

30:21 Addressing Defensive State Activation

34:43 Personalizing Your Approach

43:13 Next Steps and Resources

45:53 Conclusion and Final Thoughts

Resources:

🔸 Free resources and course in the Members Center - https://www.justinlmft.com/members

🔸 Join the Unstucking Academy - https://www.justinlmft.com/unstuckingacademy

🔸 Polyvagal Intro webpage - https://www.justinlmft.com/polyvagalintro

🔸 Stuck Not Broken book series - https://www.justinlmft.com/books

🔸 Polyvagal 101 audio series - https://player.captivate.fm/collection/cce134e7-1550-4d33-8e56-738d344c63b0

Crisis resources:

• National Suicide Prevention Hotline - 1 [phone]
• National Domestic Violence Hotline -1 [phone]
• LGBT Trevor Project Lifeline - 1 [phone]
• National Sexual Assault Hotline - 1 [phone]
• Crisis Text Line - Text “HOME” to 741741
• Call 911 for emergency

This and other content produced by Justin Sunseri (“JustinLMFT”) (i.e; podcast, YouTube, Instagram, etc.) is not therapy, not intended to be therapy or be a replacement for therapy. Nothing in this creates or indicates a therapeutic relationship. Please consult with your therapist or seek for one in your area if you are experiencing mental health symptoms. Nothing should be construed to be specific life advice; it is for educational and entertainment purposes only.

Justin Sunseri is a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist registered in the State of California (#99147).