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How to Talk to Anyone Like a Barber - Tom Davies
Manage episode 491099920 series 3617813
Ever wondered how barbers get complete strangers to open up within minutes?
Tom Davies has mastered this art whilst cutting hair across continents. From serving in the military to building a loyal following as "Yorkshireman Abroad" on TikTok, he's learned to connect with everyone from closed-off Russians to addiction-struggling regulars.
Working at an upscale English-speaking barbershop in Berlin—one of Europe's most diverse cities—Tom spends 45 minutes with each client, transforming awkward silences into meaningful conversations. His counter-intuitive approach has helped him navigate cultural barriers, language differences, and deeply personal moments, all whilst holding sharp tools near people's heads.
This isn't just about haircuts—it's about the psychology of human connection and how the right question can unlock anyone.
Key Talking Points:
- The game-changing question "What don't you like about your hair?" that gets clients talking faster than traditional approaches
- Why reading the room matters more than being chatty—including when to offer complete silence
- How to navigate difficult conversations, from addiction struggles to war trauma, without overstepping boundaries
- The "work question" strategy that turns small talk into meaningful connections every time
- Why being a barber in Berlin taught him that everyone needs someone to listen, especially men
Links & Resources:
- Tom's TikTok: @YorkshiremanAbroad
- • Instagram: @YorkshiremanAbroad
- • St. Leonard's Barbershop (Berlin): @stleonardsbarbershop
- • Book Recommendation: It Begins With You: The Nine Hard Truths About Love by Jillian Turecki
Today's Exercise: The Work Question Strategy
This simple conversation starter helps you connect with anyone by tapping into something they're genuinely expert in—their daily work experience. It works because people spend most of their waking hours at work, making them natural experts who can teach you something
Steps to Apply:
- Ask "What do you do for work?" as your opening question
- Listen for emotional cues—do they love it, hate it, or sound neutral?
- If they love it: Ask what specifically they enjoy or what they're working on
- If they hate it: Ask what they'd rather be doing or what hobbies they're passionate about
- If neutral: Dig into the details—"What does that actually involve day-to-day?"
- Look for connection points from your own experience, however small
- Let their energy guide whether to go deeper or pivot to other topics
Strategic Storyteller Newsletter
Tom's approach to reading people and asking the right questions mirrors the psychology behind compelling storytelling—both require understanding what really matters to your audience. For more insights on connecting through conversation and crafting narratives that resonate, join my free 'Strategic Storyteller' newsletter at robdwillis.com/newsletter.
Each week includes practical storytelling frameworks, personal insights, and curated resources from the podcast—all delivered in a 3-minute read.
52 episodes