The journey to space begins inside the mind. Ezra Keaton is a candidate for the Odyssey Project, a mission to retrieve a source of renewable energy from Saturn’s moon Titan that could save life on Earth. But he’s started experiencing frightening hallucinations that may link back to the Project. The sudden, inexplicable death of a colleague spurs him to investigate, but how can he uncover the truth if he can’t trust his own mind? WAKE UP: A Slingshot Story is a three part podcast event from L ...
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Content provided by Manifest Media / TABLE READ. All podcast content including episodes, graphics, and podcast descriptions are uploaded and provided directly by Manifest Media / TABLE READ or their podcast platform partner. If you believe someone is using your copyrighted work without your permission, you can follow the process outlined here https://ppacc.player.fm/legal.
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"Who Knew Christmas Needed a Jew?" - Original Song from "The Jew Who Saved Christmas"
Manage episode 454337319 series 3450010
Content provided by Manifest Media / TABLE READ. All podcast content including episodes, graphics, and podcast descriptions are uploaded and provided directly by Manifest Media / TABLE READ or their podcast platform partner. If you believe someone is using your copyrighted work without your permission, you can follow the process outlined here https://ppacc.player.fm/legal.
WHO KNEW CHRISTMAS NEEDED A JEW:
By: Selyna Warren, Marissa Read, and Jason Currie
BERNIE
Wait. What’s happening?
SANTA
Christmas feels different.
Something feels new.
The snow’s whiter, it’s so much brighter,
and it’s all because of you know who…
BERNIE
Wait… are you talking about me?
SANTA
I’ve roasted all the chestnuts,
killed all the Christmas geese!
But it’s been so monotonous delivering world peace.
Suddenly through your eyes a brand new view.
Who knew Christmas needed a jew?
BERNIE
- ISH. We prefer jewish, but I think I get what’s going on here. Your next miracle is to be all Barbara and sing -
SANTA
I’ve whistled all the carols that could ever have been sung.
The chimneys I’ve been sliding down have given me black lung.
BERNIE
Wait, what? I’ve been sliding down chimneys ALL FRIGGEN NIGHT!
SANTA
Look! I know longer have the soot flu.
Who knew Christmas needed a Jew?
BERNIE
Okay, if you think I’m gonna join you in some dorky little diddy then you are absolutely… correct!
I’ve spent every Christmas eating chinese food alone.
“The dark house on the block”,
that’s what they used to call my home.
But with you I thinkI’ve finally got my shot.
Christmas neede a jew, who knew a jew needed Christmas?
Okay, sorry, I don't have like a magical weed given song gift. I can’t like improvise rhymes on the fly.
SANTA
Ho ho …. that’s alright!
I’ll bring all the jolly.
BERNIE
And I’ll bring all the oy!
BOTH
We fit together perfectly,
BERNIE
This Hebrew
SANTA
and this goy!
SANTA
You lit up my yule-tide log and it’s -
BOTH
- burning bright!
BERNIE
The sleigh is not the only thing that’s -
BOTH
- higher than a kite!
A holly jolly mitzvah, yes it’s true!
Who knew -
BERNIE
- Christmas
SANTA
Christmas
REINDEER
Christmas
BOTH
- needed a you?
73 episodes
Share
Manage episode 454337319 series 3450010
Content provided by Manifest Media / TABLE READ. All podcast content including episodes, graphics, and podcast descriptions are uploaded and provided directly by Manifest Media / TABLE READ or their podcast platform partner. If you believe someone is using your copyrighted work without your permission, you can follow the process outlined here https://ppacc.player.fm/legal.
WHO KNEW CHRISTMAS NEEDED A JEW:
By: Selyna Warren, Marissa Read, and Jason Currie
BERNIE
Wait. What’s happening?
SANTA
Christmas feels different.
Something feels new.
The snow’s whiter, it’s so much brighter,
and it’s all because of you know who…
BERNIE
Wait… are you talking about me?
SANTA
I’ve roasted all the chestnuts,
killed all the Christmas geese!
But it’s been so monotonous delivering world peace.
Suddenly through your eyes a brand new view.
Who knew Christmas needed a jew?
BERNIE
- ISH. We prefer jewish, but I think I get what’s going on here. Your next miracle is to be all Barbara and sing -
SANTA
I’ve whistled all the carols that could ever have been sung.
The chimneys I’ve been sliding down have given me black lung.
BERNIE
Wait, what? I’ve been sliding down chimneys ALL FRIGGEN NIGHT!
SANTA
Look! I know longer have the soot flu.
Who knew Christmas needed a Jew?
BERNIE
Okay, if you think I’m gonna join you in some dorky little diddy then you are absolutely… correct!
I’ve spent every Christmas eating chinese food alone.
“The dark house on the block”,
that’s what they used to call my home.
But with you I thinkI’ve finally got my shot.
Christmas neede a jew, who knew a jew needed Christmas?
Okay, sorry, I don't have like a magical weed given song gift. I can’t like improvise rhymes on the fly.
SANTA
Ho ho …. that’s alright!
I’ll bring all the jolly.
BERNIE
And I’ll bring all the oy!
BOTH
We fit together perfectly,
BERNIE
This Hebrew
SANTA
and this goy!
SANTA
You lit up my yule-tide log and it’s -
BOTH
- burning bright!
BERNIE
The sleigh is not the only thing that’s -
BOTH
- higher than a kite!
A holly jolly mitzvah, yes it’s true!
Who knew -
BERNIE
- Christmas
SANTA
Christmas
REINDEER
Christmas
BOTH
- needed a you?
73 episodes
All episodes
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Similar to Table Read
The journey to space begins inside the mind. Ezra Keaton is a candidate for the Odyssey Project, a mission to retrieve a source of renewable energy from Saturn’s moon Titan that could save life on Earth. But he’s started experiencing frightening hallucinations that may link back to the Project. The sudden, inexplicable death of a colleague spurs him to investigate, but how can he uncover the truth if he can’t trust his own mind? WAKE UP: A Slingshot Story is a three part podcast event from L ...
…
continue reading
King Falls AM centers on a lonely little mountain town's late-night AM talk radio show and its paranormal, peculiar happenings and inhabitants. New shows available the 1st and 15th of every month! Be sure to start from Sammy's first show (May 1st, 2015) to stay up to date with all your King Falls favorites.
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continue reading
In the 1980s, there were only 63 Black films by, for, or about Black Americans. But in the 1990s, that number quadrupled, with 220 Black films making their way to cinema screens nationwide. What sparked this “Black New Wave?” Who blazed this path for contemporaries like Ava DuVernay, Kasi Lemmons and Jordan Peele? And how did these films transform American culture as a whole? Presenting The Class of 1989, a new limited-run series from pop culture critics Len Webb and Vincent Williams, hosts ...
…
continue reading
Barry first found music when he borrowed his sister's record collection when he was about eight and was hooked. When Caroline started it was a new beginning, and he listened to all the stations, but Caroline was his favourite by far. Later he became a singer in a band, then started doing discos when he was 18. He joined Caroline in 1977, touring the country with the Caroline Roadshow for 10 years, having great fun. Barry helped with tender trips and worked on the Ross Revenge in '84 and '85. ...
…
continue reading
When an experiment in a time much like our own goes horribly awry, Dr. Sally Grissom finds herself stranded in the past and entrenched in the activities of a clandestine branch of the US government. Grissom and her team quickly learn that there's no safety net when toying with the fundamental logic of the universe.
…
continue reading
In For Scores, host Jon Burlingame takes listeners on a magical journey into the world of film and television composers, revealing never-before-heard special moments behind many of today's most beloved scores. This season, you'll hear personal stories from the composers of Marvel Studios Avengers and Pixar's Toy Story films, Captain Marvel, Coco, Ralph Breaks the Internet, and so much more!
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continue reading
Your favourite rock & metal podcast bringing you all the latest news, opinions, honest reviews and laughs every Friday. 100% passion, 100% honesty, 100% of the time. Join us. @notmetalpod on Twitter & Instagram. Come join the discussion with a likeminded community of music fans on the That's Not Metal Facebook Focus Group www.facebook.com/groups/TNMFocus/.
…
continue reading
An independent radio station from Tel Aviv. For music lovers by music lovers.
…
continue reading
The Orphans is a cinematic sci-fi audio drama about survival in a harsh universe: castaways on a hostile world, A.I.s with unprecedented emotions, strangers who share faces, love and loss in a far-flung future. Each season explores a new vantage point in an ever-expanding and inter-connected galaxy!
…
continue reading
SAYER is a narrative fiction podcast set on Earth’s man-made second moon, Typhon. The eponymous SAYER is a highly advanced, self-aware AI created to help acclimate new residents to their new lives, and their new employment with Ærolith Dynamics. New episodes release every other week.
…
continue reading
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