#178 Growing up in a hoarded home: Sam’s story as the child of a Mum who hoards

That Hoarder: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding

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In this episode I chat with Sam, who speaks movingly about growing up with a mother who hoards. Now 28, Sam reflects on the claustrophobic environment, the impact on their self-esteem and organisation, and the ongoing journey to rebuild a relationship with food, space, and self-worth. Whether you're a hoarder, the child of somebody who hoards, or you know someone who is, Sam's story offers a vital perspective on living through - and beyond - the hoard.

• Sam’s experience growing up in a hoarded home
• Importance of understanding perspectives of those affected by hoarding
• Sam’s Childhood Experience
• Description of upbringing in a hoarded home
• Emotional impact and feelings of claustrophobia and anxiety
• Lack of emotional and physical space
• Experiences of shame and comparison with peers
• Coping Mechanisms and Effects on Daily Life
• Sam's view of their home as an obstacle course
• Impact of hoarding on family relationships
• Lack of privacy and its influence on personal development
• Impact on Self-Esteem and Mental Health
• Struggle with self-esteem and self-care
• Connection between environment and depression
• Feelings of negativity and isolation
• School and Social Interactions
• Effect on academic performance and organisational skills
• Challenges in completing schoolwork
• Experiences with friends visiting the home and related anxieties
• Adolescence and Growing Awareness
• Anger and frustration during teenage years
• Lack of external intervention and support
• Missed opportunities for professional help
• External Perception and Professional Insight
• Outside family and societal perceptions of hoarding
• Drip-feeding experiences to others and feeling of overwhelming others
• Relationship with Food and Nutrition
• Negative perceptions of food due to spoiling and smells
• Ongoing struggle with eating certain foods, particularly fruit
• Rebuilding a relationship with food as an adult
• Leaving the Home and Independence
• Sam’s experience and decision to move out at 20
• Challenges and processes involved in leaving the parental hoarded home
• Continued responsibilities in a second hoarded home
• Long-term Effects on Sam’s Adult Life
• Influence on career choice and support work with young carers
• Ongoing challenges with personal organisation and self-care
• Struggles with mental health and burnout
• Sam’s Relationship with Family
• Complex relationship dynamics with parents
• Lack of understanding from parents regarding Sam’s struggles and decisions
• Reflection on parental insight into hoarding and its effects on family
• Current Relationship with Hoarding and Cleaning
• Sam’s approach to possessions
• Emotional responses to cleaning and organising tasks
• Developing the skillset for maintaining an organised living space
• Message for Others Experiencing Similar Situations
• Encouragement for other young carers and children of hoarders
• Importance of self-worth and identity outside of hoarding stigmas
• Strategies for mental health and personal growth
• Final Thoughts and Reflections
• Reflections on how sharing and exploration helps understanding
• Hope for the interview to be beneficial to listeners with similar experiences