Life with a Brother on the Spectrum, with Abrar Shahin, BCBA

The Autism Roundtable

What’s it really like growing up as a sibling to someone with an intellectual disability? In this heartfelt episode, Abrar Shahin, a BCBA and sibling to an individual with an intellectual disability, shares her personal journey—its challenges, lessons, and triumphs. From childhood confusion and teenage embarrassment to deep admiration and advocacy, she takes us through the emotional evolution of being a sibling and how it shaped her career and life’s mission.

Key Questions Explored in the Episode:

• What was it like growing up with a sibling with an intellectual disability?
• How did childhood experiences shape Abrar’s perspective on disabilities?
• What challenges do siblings face, and how can they be supported?
• How did these experiences influence Abrar’s decision to become a BCBA?
• What advice does she have for parents raising both neurotypical and disabled children?
• What message does she have for siblings who may be struggling with their feelings?

Discussion Points:

1. Early Years of Childhood (0-10 Years) – Growing up alongside her brother and the confusion of his behaviors.
2. The Challenges of Adolescence (10-18 Years) – Facing embarrassment, frustration, and social stigma.
3. Maturity and Acceptance in Adulthood – Learning how to advocate for her brother and finding strength in her experience.
4. The Role of Family and Community – How open discussions and proper support transformed the outlook of younger family members.
5. The Impact of Therapy & ABA – How modern resources like ABA therapy could have changed her brother’s life and how she helps families today.
6. Advice for Parents – How to support neurotypical siblings while caring for a child with a disability.
7. Message to Siblings – It’s okay to feel what you feel, and you’ll come out stronger and more compassionate because of it.

Summary of the Conversation:

Abrar Shahin shares an intimate look into her life growing up with an older brother with an intellectual disability. She describes the confusion of her childhood, the emotional turmoil of adolescence, and the eventual acceptance and appreciation she found in adulthood. Throughout her journey, she emphasizes the importance of open conversations, support groups, and seeking proper therapy. She also discusses how her experiences led her to become a BCBA, dedicating her life to helping families navigate similar challenges. Abrar offers invaluable advice to both parents and siblings, encouraging them to embrace their unique journey with understanding and patience.

About The Guest:

Abrar Shahin is a Board Certified Behavior Analyst (BCBA) with a passion for working with individuals with disabilities. Inspired by her brother, she dedicated her career to helping families access the support and resources they need. Through her work, she empowers both individuals with disabilities and their families to navigate life’s challenges with confidence and compassion.

Key Takeaways:

✅ It’s normal for siblings to feel a mix of emotions. Frustration, embarrassment, and even resentment are common feelings, but they don’t define your relationship.

✅ Honest conversations matter. Parents should explain a sibling’s disability in age-appropriate ways from an early age.

✅ Community and support groups can make all the difference. Finding others in similar situations can provide comfort and guidance.

✅ ABA therapy and other resources are crucial. Proper interventions can help individuals with disabilities develop functional skills that benefit the whole family.

✅ Siblings of individuals with disabilities develop unique strengths. Patience, resilience, and deep compassion often come from this experience.

Time Stamps:

🟢 [00:00] Introduction – Abrar Shahin’s background and connection to the topic

🟢 [01:28] Early childhood memories of growing up with a brother with an intellectual disability

🟢 [06:42] The struggles of adolescence – embarrassment, frustration, and social challenges

🟢 [18:38] The transformation into adulthood – learning to embrace and advocate

🟢 [29:41] How her experience led her to become a BCBA

🟢 [40:31] Advice for parents – balancing attention between children and using resources

🟢 [47:47] A message for siblings – your feelings are valid, and you’ll grow stronger from this experience

Connect with Abrar Shahin:

📌 LinkedIn: [Insert Link]

📌 Website: [Insert Link]

Call to Action:

Are you a parent navigating the balance between caring for a child with a disability and supporting their siblings? Or are you a sibling struggling with mixed emotions? This episode is for you! Tune in now to hear Abrar’s incredible journey and gain insights on how to turn challenges into strengths.