Stop Inventing Intentions
Manage episode 495764099 series 3561068
What if the biggest obstacle to a productive conversation… was the story in your head? In this powerful episode, the curtain gets pulled back on one of the most damaging habits in leadership: assuming intent. From ghosted emails to pushback in meetings, it’s easy to jump to conclusions. But when leaders start conversations like prosecutors instead of partners, trust erodes and productivity dies.
The episode walks through how these mental shortcuts—called emotional reasoning—fuel defensiveness and kill collaboration. You’ll learn how to replace snap judgments with curiosity, defuse tension, and make every conversation more productive. This shift isn’t soft. It’s smart. And it works.
Timestamps: 00:00 – Introduction: The mental trap that kills conversations 02:15 – The dangers of emotional reasoning and assuming intent 05:12 – How made-up narratives damage culture and credibility 08:34 – Triggering defensiveness: why arguments never lead to change 11:01 – Blocking resolution by needing to be “right” 13:20 – The power of trading certainty for curiosity 16:05 – Walkthrough: Turning a late project into a teachable moment 18:38 – Rewiring your leadership approach with questions 21:10 – Avoiding blame, promoting ownership 23:42 – Final mindset shift before every difficult conversation
Links:
The full framework from this episode is also available in the free downloadable tool The Roadmap to Difficult Conversations
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202 episodes