96. Why You Keep Choosing the Cage (Even When the Door is Open)

The Create Your Day Podcast

Have you ever noticed yourself panicking when your calendar suddenly has white space? That anxious feeling when you have freedom might be a sign you're building your own prison cell.
This episode dives deep into why we recreate systems of control even when no one is asking us to. I'm building on my popular "Freedom Audit" episode (Episode 81!) to explore why, even when the door stands wide open, we consistently choose to remain in cages of our own design. The patterns keeping us trapped are sneaky - they're often rewarded in society and deeply rooted in identities we think we need to be seen, safe, and worthy.
Freedom requires surrender, and surrender requires vulnerability. For those who've survived by controlling everything, that vulnerability feels threatening—almost like death. We cling to our to-do lists like life rafts while simultaneously resenting how full they are. Our addiction to being seen as capable, competent, and needed creates a powerful neurological reward every time we power through tasks.
Breaking free requires interrogating your loyalty to old identities: What part of you is afraid to be seen as unproductive or (gasp) average? Then practice leaving things undone on purpose - not because you forgot, but as an intentional choice. This teaches your nervous system that nothing implodes when you're not over-functioning. Start celebrating restraint and discernment rather than only celebrating output and achievement.
You didn't work this hard to recreate the same pressure in a different form. The door to your cage is open - you just need to stop locking it from the inside. Take a moment this week to consider what you can subtract rather than add. What can you intentionally leave undone? This small rebellion against your old identities might be the key to creating the freedom you've always wanted.

Thanks for listening!

Connect With Me:

📩 Join my email list: https://www.jenncody.com/weekly-balance
📱 DM me on Instagram: @jenncody

If you enjoyed this episode, share it with a friend who needs to hear this message!

🎧 Subscribe to and Review The Create Your Day Podcast on:
📌 Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Buzzsprout

Chapters

1. Welcome to Create Your Day (00:00:00)

2. The Freedom Fantasy vs. Reality (00:01:33)

3. Control Is An Illusion (00:04:18)

4. The Addiction to Capability (00:05:55)

5. Interrogating Your Old Identities (00:08:55)

6. Leave Things Undone On Purpose (00:12:55)

7. Rewriting Your Reward System (00:16:33)