It’s Not a Sleep Divorce, It’s a Sleep Upgrade

The Doze Podcast

Ep. 80 Think sleeping apart means drifting apart? Think again. If you've been silently suffering through snoring, restless nights, or emotional distance, this isn’t a sleep divorce—it’s your chance for a sleep upgrade. It might just be the most effective couples therapy you never considered.

Ask yourself: Is the tension in your relationship really only about chores? It’s not just what needs to get done, it’s the fact that you’re running on empty. And when you're depleted, patience fades, presence slips, and connection becomes harder to give. 😮‍💨

If sleep struggles have been quietly driving a wedge between you and your partner, this episode is your wake-up call to look a little closer—and start making rest the foundation for reconnection.

Certified sleep coach Soda Kuczkowski breaks down how poor sleep fuels disconnection and why prioritizing sleep may be the most intimate, restorative move you can make as a couple.

🔑 What’s Inside?

• Why sleep deprivation fuels disconnection, not just fatigue

• How to talk about sleep without hurting feelings

• The surprising benefits of sleeping in separate rooms

• Low-pressure ways to build a joint sleep strategy

• Tools, apps, and product tips to reduce snoring and restlessness

Resources:

• Ep. 4 - Silence the Snore: Natural Remedies for Peaceful Nights

• Get all Soda’s favorite sleep tools and guides at TheDoze.co

  Follow along on Instagram @startwithsleep or @thedoze.co
  

💬 Notable Quotes

💤 “Sleeping in separate rooms is not a sign of failure. It’s a sign that you value your sleep and your relationship.”

⏱️“Sleep is where your relationship either fractures or fortifies.”

💘 “Sleep is not separate from your relationship. It is your relationship. It’s the foundation of how you speak to each other, how you touch each other, and how you feel seen and supported.”

Chapters

00:00 – The real reason couples grow apart

01:02 – Fighting because you’re tired, not incompatible

02:27 – Debunking the taboo of separate beds

03:21 – How sleep deprivation damages empathy and desire

04:16 – What to do if your partner snores

05:19 – Conversation starters that don’t feel like ultimatums 06:41 – Building a better sleep toolbox together

07:37 - Connection games that rebuild emotional intimacy

09:14 - Ask this one question to deepen understanding

10:00 Why sleep is the most underrated relationship strategy

10:50 Final word: Protect your relationship by prioritizing rest

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