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Episode 112 - The Hidden Cost of Chronic Accommodation with Celeste Davis
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One of the biggest challenges for people pleasers is the fear of disappointing, inconveniencing, or hurting others. As women, we have often been programmed to avoid these situations in order to maintain happy and peaceful relationships since childhood. But how can we truly find happiness and peace when we constantly betray our own wants and needs to avoid conflict and keep others satisfied? In today’s episode, I speak with Celeste Davis, who writes about deconstructing patriarchy and learning how to take up more space in the world as a woman on her Substack, Matriarchal Blessing. We explore the themes of her essay, "The Cost of Chronic Accommodation," which addresses the sacrifices women make to ensure the happiness of others—and how to break that cycle. Here's what we cover:
- The invisible cost of never prioritizing your own desires
- How a woman's self-sacrifice is expected and even romanticized by our society
- Why doormat or b*tch are not your only options for how you show up–there is a middle ground where you can assert yourself
- How social structures that depend on doing invisible work for free keep women from valuing our time and energy
- Two unique definitions of boundaries to help you protect what is sacred to you
- How to deal with the avalanche of emotions–fear, anxiety, shame, guilt–that you have been programmed to feel when you disappoint someone
I can’t wait for you to listen.
Terri Cole on the We Can Do Hard Things Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/are-you-a-high-functioning-codependent-find-out/id1564530722?i=1000703548035
Find Celeste here:
https://celestemdavis.substack.com/
http://celestemdavis.substack.com/p/hidden-costs-of-accommodation
https://celestemdavis.substack.com/about
Find Sara here:
https://pages.sarafisk.coach/difficultconversations
https://www.instagram.com/sarafiskcoach/
https://www.facebook.com/SaraFiskCoaching/
https://www.tiktok.com/@sarafiskcoach
https://www.youtube.com/@sarafiskcoaching1333
What happens inside the free Stop People Pleasing Facebook Community? Our goal is to provide help and guidance on your journey to eliminate people pleasing and perfectionism from your life. We heal best in a safe community where we can grow and learn together and celebrate and encourage each other. This group is for posting questions about or experiences with material learned in The Ex-Good Girl podcast, Sara Fisk Coaching social media posts or the free webinars and trainings provided by Sara Fisk Coaching. See you inside!
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