"The Fear of Commitment: What's Really Underneath"

If you've ever found yourself lying awake at 2 AM, your heart racing because the amazing guy you've been seeing just used the word "future" in a sentence about the two of you... this episode is for you.

Maybe you've been here before: You meet someone incredible. The connection is electric. The sex is mind-blowing. You actually enjoy spending time together clothed. For the first time in years, you can imagine what "settling down" might look like. But then something shifts.

That familiar panic creeps in. Your mind starts flooding with "what ifs." What if he gets bored? What if I lose myself? What if I'm not cut out for this? What if, what if, what if... And before you know it, you're picking fights, creating distance, or worse – you're on the apps again, convincing yourself that maybe you're just "not the relationship type."

Sound familiar?

Here's what I want you to know: You're not broken. You're not commitment-phobic. You're not destined to be alone. What you're experiencing is your nervous system trying to protect you from perceived danger – and with the right understanding and tools, you can learn to feel safe in love.

I'm Alan Cox, your host and an ICF-accredited gay life coach who specializes in helping successful gay men like you move beyond the endless cycle of casual hookups and build the meaningful, committed relationships you actually want. I've walked this exact path myself, and I've guided hundreds of men from fear to freedom in love.

Today, we're going deep. We're not just talking about commitment fears – we're exploring what's really underneath them. I'll share the specific attachment patterns that keep gay men stuck, the cognitive distortions that fuel your anxiety, and most importantly, the practical tools that will help you move through these fears instead of being controlled by them.

You'll discover why your brain treats commitment like a threat, how your early experiences shaped your relationship blueprint, and the step-by-step process to rewire your nervous system for love and connection.

But here's what makes this different from every other relationship podcast you've tried: I'm not just giving you generic advice. As a gay man who's done this work professionally and personally, I understand the unique challenges we face – the lack of relationship role models, the impact of minority stress, the way societal rejection can make us reject ourselves first.

By the end of this episode, you'll have a clear roadmap for transforming your relationship with commitment. You'll understand your patterns, you'll have tools to work with your fears, and you'll know exactly what steps to take next.

If you're tired of your own patterns, if you're ready to stop sabotaging good things, and if you're serious about building the committed relationship you've always wanted – stay with me. This conversation could change everything.

Ready to transform your relationship with commitment? Let's dive in...

Contact Information:

Email: [email protected]
Mention "Podcast Discovery Call" in your message
Weekly Zoom workshops: Tuesdays at 7pm GMT

Support the show