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Love and Astrology – Interview with Carol Allen

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Content provided by Evan Marc Katz. All podcast content including episodes, graphics, and podcast descriptions are uploaded and provided directly by Evan Marc Katz or their podcast platform partner. If you believe someone is using your copyrighted work without your permission, you can follow the process outlined here https://staging.podcastplayer.com/legal.

Do you ever feel like love just isn’t happening—no matter how hard you try? In this episode of the Love U Podcast, I sit down with my dear friend and Vedic astrologer Carol Allen to explore why timing, energy, and emotional readiness might matter more than effort alone. We break down the difference between chemistry and compatibility, how to spot high-capacity partners, and why so many smart, successful women are late bloomers in love. Whether you’re into astrology or just curious about a new way to understand your dating patterns, this conversation is packed with powerful insights that can save you time, heartbreak, and self-doubt. Tune in now to feel more hopeful—and more aligned with love.

About Today’s Guest:
Carol Allen is a happily married Vedic astrologer and relationship coach whose mission is to empower women to enjoy truly “out of this world” love lives. Her methods are a unique marriage of East and West, combining her training in the astrology of India with cutting-edge, real-world relationship research.

Whether you’re looking for a soulmate, want to deepen an existing relationship, or heal lifelong love patterns, the answers are literally written in the stars… and almost anything can be made much better with your own right actions once you know the truth and what to do about it.

Carol’s been featured on E!, Bridezillas, EXTRA, Dr. Drew’s Lifechangers and in Chicken Soup For The Soul, Woman’s World, and Daily Candy, and is the author of Love Is In The Stars – The Wise Woman’s Astrological Guide To Men. She is regularly heard by hundreds of thousands of people on major relationship summits, podcasts, and radio shows.

So don’t wait on fate – discover the awesome power you have to attract, enhance, and sustain a great love, and make the most of your romantic destiny with Carol’s free newsletter and catalog of books, personalized astrology reports, and relationship programs, here: www.evanmarckatz.com/carol

What You’ll Hear

  • Celebrating 400 episodes of the Love U Podcast and 3 million+ downloads

  • Why Carol Allen is the only repeat guest on the show—and what makes her so unique

  • What Vedic astrology is and how it differs from Western astrology

  • The importance of relationship capacity over surface-level compatibility

  • Why timing matters in love—and how astrology can reveal your “seasons of loneliness”

  • The trap of “Shazam chemistry” and why it’s not a predictor of long-term happiness

  • Real-life client stories where astrology revealed major red flags before heartbreak

  • Evan and Carol’s shared belief: a man’s consistent effort is the clearest sign he’s ready

  • The two most common types of women who seek out Carol’s readings

  • How high-achieving women can unintentionally lead with masculine energy—and how to shift it

  • What makes someone a “late bloomer” in love, and why it’s perfectly normal

  • The emotional relief women feel when they learn love isn’t “all their fault”

  • Practical, empowering takeaways about trust, timing, and spiritual perspective

  • A beautiful reminder: the right love will make you feel safe, heard, and understood

Full Episode Transcript
Hey, my name is Evan Marc Katz. This is the LoveU Podcast. Thank you so much for joining me.

If you’re a regular listener, please subscribe on Apple, subscribe on Spotify, leave us a positive review. We are up to 533 mostly positive reviews and counting, and I am grateful. It gets us into the algorithm.

More and more people are talking about this. We have celebrated some milestones recently, 400th episode, 3 millionth download, really great stuff. And as I was saying prior to getting on the air today, I am in the most positive mood I have been in over a year, which doesn’t make any sense since the world is actively collapsing around us.

And yet, and yet, I am more and more grateful for the relationships that I have, the friendships that I have, the career that I have, the connection that I get to have with my clients. And so it is just my honor and pleasure to reintroduce a close friend. She is one of the only people who has been on this podcast multiple times.

Everybody else gets one interview, but my friend Carol Allen gets multiple interviews. He could teach a class in friendship. Nobody does it like she does.

She can and does teach classes and love. She also has a very unique niche as a Vedic astrologer who happens to have the credentials of having done this for 30 years and being married for 25-ish. Don’t get me started on how much this woman has lived and learned and known and shared and how many lives she’s impacted.

Her official biography, because I’ve got to read the official biography. Carol Allen is a happily married Vedic astrologer and relationship coach whose mission is to empower women. I know it’s hard to listen to me talk about you on a podcast.

I’m like, I know I wrote this, but this is really awkward. Her methods are a unique marriage of East and West, combining her training in the astrology of India with cutting-edge real-world relationship research. Whether you’re looking for a soulmate, want to deepen an existing relationship, heal lifelong love patterns, the answers are literally written in the stars, and almost anything can be made much better with your own right actions once you know the truth and what to do about it.

Carol has been on E! Bridezilla’s Extra, Dr. Drew’s Life Changer, Chicken Soup for the Soul, Woman’s World, Daily Candy, and is the author of Love is in the Stars, The Wise Woman’s Astrological Guide to Men. She’s regularly heard by hundreds of thousands of people on major relationship summits, podcasts, and radio shows. So do not wait on fate.

Discover the awesome power you have to attract, enhance, and sustain great love, and make the most of your romantic destiny with Carol’s free newsletter and catalog of books, astrology reports, and relationship programs. You can find her at loveisinthestars.com. My BFFAEAE, ever and ever, Carol. Carol Allen.

Oh, sweetheart. Oh, my God. I hope we didn’t lose everybody just then.

Come back. Come back. I mean, it is the professional thing that we have to do to tout each other’s accomplishments in a sense.

Redemption. Otherwise, I’m just having a yappy conversation like we did the 20 minutes before we recorded. Well, and the truth is, none of that would have happened.

I would not be here or really anywhere else if you had not made one of the most important professional introductions of my life that led me to an amazing mentor, that led me to my online publisher, that led me to this whole mad, mad marketing world you and I are both in that has introduced us to so many of our amazing clients in our communities and been so fortunate. I just would do anything for you and congratulations on the success of this fantastic podcast and thanks for having me back. Sure.

It is genuinely my pleasure. We should hang out in person, but since we’re here, my focus is something I haven’t been doing for many, many years since I started this podcast in 2016. The easiest thing to do is turn on the mic and turn on the camera and talk about what I’m learning from talking with my clients.

The harder thing is to schedule something when everybody’s really busy. So I’m returning to the well and interviewing people that I think really have something unique to offer. That’s really where I want to dive in today.

One of the things that I love about you is that you and I give almost identical relationship advice, but we come at it at such different angles. I’m so not woo-woo astrology anything, but there is a huge lane of people who really love this, respond to it. So I really want to give you the platform today to share how the stars explain everything to us in ways that I don’t even understand.

So what exactly is, for the people who just read the horoscope in the newspaper, when there were newspapers, what is Vedic astrology? How is it different than what we consider astrology? There’s over 50 kinds of astrology. People don’t know this. So there’s Celtic and Mayan and Hebrew and Chinese and Nepalese and Persian and Greek and Roman and Egyptian and on and on and on.

Vedic is from ancient India, and it’s of the over 50 kinds. It’s the most consistently practiced, the least interrupted, and the most fully integrated with a culture. What I love about it is they’ve never lost their treasure trove of knowledge.

So much of the Western system, which is the system here in our newspapers and magazines, and that whenever you read those, like, which sign is better for, you know, X, Y, Z, that is the Western system. And what I love, love, love about the Vedic system is they never, there was never a big book burning campaign. They never burned all the astrologers at the stake.

The church didn’t try to wipe it out. All their original writings weren’t lost at the great fire in Alexandria in ancient Greece, which happened to the Western system. So all my mentors and teachers, when they found it, they said it was like, they were all Western astrologers first.

And they said it was like going from high school to getting a PhD at MIT. There was just so much more technique to work with and so much more information. And it’s used to this day to arrange marriages over 80% of the population’s Hindu and over 90% of the population still has arranged marriages, if you can believe it.

So they don’t get married without an astrologer giving the thumbs up. And so the techniques are just astonishing for both predicting when marriage should happen and when love can come into your life or when you’re in what I call a season of loneliness. And then looking at the capacity of each person to be a good partner.

And then looking at all the myriad of ways people are compatible or incompatible. And it’s so much fun to have this technology to look way ahead at people’s lives and at people’s relationships, and tell them what’s going on. It’s really fun.

I remember you did a reading for me before I got married. Yes. And the same way I don’t remember the plot of a book or a movie, all I remember is the feeling of what I had when I was experiencing it.

I remember you telling me that my relationship was the equivalent of good but not great. I think that’s what the stars said. Well, here’s what you did, which is actually what the ancient books in India say to do.

Everybody hears about astrology more in terms of what’s called sun sign astrology. Like, hey, Aquarius, you’re best with Gemini and Libra. And sun sign astrology is what I call pop astrology.

We’re all not just the sun. It’s sort of like deciding every cake is just flour, right? Like, if you had a mouthful of flour, even though it’s the main ingredient in most cakes, would that taste anything like cake? No, you need all the ingredients. And then you need the process they go to to become a cake.

And we’re all like that. But we cherry pick these individual things about each chart, because it’s fun to sort of try to understand ourselves and try to have a way to quickly for article purposes, horoscope purposes, Facebook posts, TikTok videos to try to convey like that every single Gemini or Libra or Scorpio or whatever is the same. So people hear about astrology first in terms of themselves and then compatibility.

But the first thing you’re supposed to look at when it comes to mate selection is actually what’s called relationship capacity. And it’s more important to choose someone with high capacity, who’s kind, who’s generous, who’s loving, who’s loyal, who’s emotionally healthy enough to want to show up for you and to see their part and to take responsibility and communicate effectively, than it is to be with someone that you have Shazam compatibility with. And actually, if you pick someone where you have all the compatibility coordinates perfect, but they have low capacity, and we see this all the time, Evan, in our work, when women feel like struck by lightning, and they they’ve never left so easily, and the chemistry has never been so good.

And they just time flies with the guy, but he’s a lousy boyfriend, or he’s selfish, or he’s unavailable somehow, or he’s moody, or he has addictions, or he’s got an anger problem. It’s actually a curse to have that amazing Wow, Shazam thing. And so you pick somebody with extremely high capacity, who more slowly grew on you, and more, your relationship and your love grew out of shared experience, and her just constantly revealing all these incredible, beautiful gifts that she provided, until you woke up one day, and you’re like, wow, I’m so in love.

I didn’t see this coming. And that’s actually better. So the mediocre or the sort of average thing that I was talking about was that it wasn’t her, it was the combination of the two of you.

And that’s better. Okay. Yeah.

Yeah. I didn’t mean to put you on the defensive about that. I just thought that my recollection, you said, hey, before you get married, I have to do a reading.

I was like, all right. I’m far be it for me to look a gift horse in the mouth. Um, so, um, well, you’re a good friend, and I wanted to make sure you were doing the right thing.

I appreciate it. I don’t know what I would have done if I got a different report. That would really throw me off my axis.

So why is having this understanding so helpful with love? Does this function and again, I’m going to be me, right? Like, like, you know, I’ll put, you know, all the Evan stuff aside, but I’m going to be me. Um, does this function almost like a lot of the things that we experience online where people want information about themselves? So this, this functions like a Myers-Briggs test or an attachment style thing. Is this just another lens through which to view the world that provides information for how we show up? Yes, but it’s actually also deeper than that, because that’s just what you said, how people show up, what they respond to, how they kind of move through the world.

But this also shows, you know, so much more, you know, like timing, is it there for, for lack of a better word, forgive me, is it their destiny or their karma to marry? Are they, are, will they have children or not? Right? So all of that is, you can see all that stuff. And, and when is it good to do each of these things? Um, and so, so what’s helpful about it to your, to your first question, how does this help? Why is this important? Is when you first meet someone, you might have great energy with them or great chemistry with them. The people are on their best behavior and we all lie to each other about who we are, right? Or we don’t even realize who we are, right? So we don’t necessarily lie, but we, we misrepresent.

No, no, I’m super social. No, no, I’m super easygoing. No, no, I’m, I can’t wait to have kids.

We know, we know what people want to hear and we present ourselves as such because it’s like interviewing for a job. You don’t want to self eliminate. Right.

So what this helps you do is know somebody more quickly and know what’s fair to expect and know not just about them, but there’s, there’s this alchemy that happens between two people that actually creates a different, like a separate third entity between them that has strengths and weaknesses of its own. And, and what this does, Evan, and what I love, love, love about being able to do this for, you know, mostly women, most of my practice is women, is women put so much pressure on themselves and have so much noise often about relationships, you know, do, does this person like me, am I doing this correctly? Am I good enough? Am I pretty enough? Am I sexy enough? Am I good in bed? Am I, am I, am I, am I, sometimes something’s just oil and water and it’s not your fault. And it’s not because you’re not pretty enough or you’re the wrong age or you wait too much or you weren’t good in bed or, or, or, or you didn’t flirt or you were too needy or all those like stories we tell ourselves in relationships, maybe it just wasn’t meant to be.

So for example, you know, I, I have a lot of clients I work with in an ongoing way and they can contact me anytime that they meet somebody new and they want me to check them out. And I had a client a week ago, so excited because she met a guy at a conference. He was being so supportive and loving.

She was going through a big heartbreak with her daughter. This guy was charming and funny and encouraging and complimentary. She was so happy.

So she had me check him out. And I was like, uh, this guy’s like highly sensitive and pretty angry and, you know, impatient. And, and you guys were like near like oil and water.

And I’m, I’m kind of surprised it went that well, well, she, they followed up and she was going to visit him the following week. And immediately he did all the stuff I said, right? Like he did all the stuff I said, he got angry at everything. He like pushed back on everything, everything annoyed him.

And she was blown away. She said he was completely different than when she had first met him. And the fact that I had warned her and then it all unfolded, took all the noise out of what did I do? Oh my God, he was so great before I must’ve done something wrong.

Right. Or, you know, it just helped her have her eyes so wide open. Right.

Um, I had another client, uh, just the other day asked me about a guy that she just met online. And I could see this guy was like super fun, super cute, very sexy, very masculine, all the things that like make women swoon. Right.

And I said, this guy is very like, he’s had a lot of change. He’s not here to settle down. I don’t think this is anybody’s husband.

I think this guy is going to come on really strong, but I think he’s like a rascal and a rogue and a Rolling Stone. And she wrote me back and she said, you’re a thousand percent right. So, you know, trying to, trying to tame one of those guys is beyond anyone’s capacity.

So, so it’s just fun. It’s just really, it’s really fun to be able to save women a lot of time and trouble and heartbreak. Um, can I ask some more questions about this? Yes.

Because again, I always try to find the overlap between what we, what we do and what we say, because that’s, that’s where I, that’s my intersection point with your work. A lot of what you’re talking about is timing. And I think that’s, I think I’m going to do a podcast on it.

I literally had my little post-it note yesterday about how, in a way it doesn’t, I mean, we could ascribe the timing to something that was written in the stars thousands of years ago, or we could just say he’s been divorced for four weeks, right? He’s ready for a relationship or he’s only calling you once a week and it’s been two months. All we have to do is just observe the behavior. So I get less focused on the why, what’s why he disappeared.

I don’t worry too much about the why, whether it was written in the stars, whether he’s going through, like all I pay attention to is right now, is this guy based on his efforts, making you feel like a top priority in his life and is it fundamentally flowing and easy? And all the why, I kind of sort of shrugged Maybe it’s all right. But to me, we can almost arrive at the same point just based on how is this man showing up for you? Yes. Well, and how are you feeling? Because when it’s right, as you so beautifully write about and talk about, you’re going to feel peaceful and relaxed and you don’t have to ask, what’s he thinking? Where’s this headed? Because he’ll be showing up and it’ll be obvious.

So what you’re basically saying is why do they need to do my method? If anything, I’m curious about where there’s a disconnect. Let’s say, and again, I can’t say whether the stars are right or wrong, but let’s say there are two people who genuinely, the stars say they’re great, hypothetically. So you give them a great report, but the reality of the relationship isn’t that great.

Do they stick with the relationship because the stars say it’s great? No, not at all. This is why I’m trying to figure out what do we do with the information because we know when, hey, the stars say that it’s not a good time in your life or in his life, this is not the window. But I’m curious about the reverse situation.

Well, I’ll tell you what, in my experience of working with women for 34 years, overwhelmingly, the biggest regret people have is staying past the expiration date, right? Staying too long. And what happens a lot is when there’s a lot of good connections between two people and both people are basically good people, they can get pretty far. But I’ve had clients be really happy for like a year with someone, but after a year, things went sideways.

I had a client, she dated a guy for a year. They lived together like 10 months of that year. They moved in too fast for sure.

And at about a year point, he started really withdrawing and kind of shutting down and not communicating. And about a year, she hung on and hung on and hung on because there was still all that good and all that nice history, but it completely fell apart at about a year, eight months. And he just went screaming off into the night one night.

Well, we didn’t look at him until later and his chart was not a relationship chart, like at all. And I said to her, you didn’t fail. It couldn’t have been different.

Yes. He had all these ways that he could show up, but ultimately he couldn’t sustain it. And this wasn’t your fault.

So again, what it does, Evan, is it, you know, people need the why sometimes they need a way to intellectually understand and they need a way to feel, you know, some peace. And, and it, it had, I looked at him ahead of time. I would have said like, I don’t think this is a, you know, this isn’t a horse you want to bet on for the long term.

This is like, she said later, this should have been a year long fling. It would have been great, but we never should have lived together. And I shouldn’t have held on so long.

Right. But what it could have showed up, you know, but that’s where humans get involved, right? Sort of regardless of anything, the human element is people stay in bad relationships because of chemistry, inertia, the fear that they can’t do better, the fear of being alone the dread of dating. Yeah.

All right. So there’s a bunch of reasons that people overstay their welcome because change is hard and change is scary. And sometimes like, again, metaphorically, if you hate your job, but you don’t know you can get a job, you stay in your crappy job because at least it pays the bills.

And so everybody eventually recognizes that being in a bad relationship is the worst scenario of all. You’re better off being alone. And that’s, you know, and then people get rid of the bad relationship and then they get so content being alone that they forget the possibility of finding love because at least they’re not in a bad relationship.

Right. Yeah. I wanted to, I want to, again, bring it back to your area of expertise.

And because there’s women listening to me right now and, you know, I’m like, you know, I’ve worked with a certain kind of woman. There’s a type that comes to me. And I’m trying to find the overlap between, you know, the people who come to me and people who come to you.

And my guess is that there’s a ton of overlap. So in your experience, your 30 years, what kind of women are most likely to reach out to you for customized readings and dating and relationship coaching? Well, overwhelmingly I hear from highly sensitive women. And I think highly sensitive women are more, they feel energy more, they’re more intuitive.

So they often have more open-mindedness around spiritual things, esoteric things. So, and highly sensitive women are more romantic as a group. They’re more affected by chemistry.

They’re more able to fall in love like really fast. So they get into more trouble and they get more hurt. Right.

And they, they get sort of blinded more by chemistry. And, and then when they get hurt, they shut down and withdraw for longer. So they go longer between relationships and in relationships, they pour themselves.

They tend to over-function, over-give. And, and so then they really shouldn’t date by themselves because they get very sorry-eyed. They get very swept off their feet.

Probably trusting their own judgment at a certain point. Right. Right.

And so they really do need some guardrails and somebody there to go like, whoa, whoa, whoa, hold on, honey. And then I get the really alpha badass professional women, like you do, you know, very strong, successful, high functioning, who unintentionally can really like put a guy’s balls in her purse. Right.

So, so, and then they wonder like, Oh, I don’t, I don’t understand. Like, uh, why are men not falling for me? You know, and they hire me to help with their profiles and their profiles. We’d like resumes, you know, I’ve achieved this and I’ve done that.

And I own this and I go there and, you know, they don’t drop down into their hearts. And, you know, our friend Rory Ray says such a great thing. A man can’t connect you to your heart unless you’re in it.

Right. So, so, uh, so helping those women maintain their strength and their success, but also connect more to their vulnerability and their more feminine side. And, you know, you and I are both Pat Allen fans who John Gray calls the father of us all, who talks about masculine and feminine energy and how in a partnership, one person has to be predominantly one and the other person has to be predominantly the other.

You can trade hats, but there is this kind of yin and Yang, this polarity that happens when both energies are present in a relationship. And in modern times, you know, we’re very rewarded as women for being masculine. It’s how we make money.

It’s how we get status. It’s how we get title. It’s how we, you know, it’s how we take care of ourselves, but it can also say to a guy, I don’t need anything.

I’m better than you. I got it. I, you know, and then men don’t feel 10 feet tall around us.

So what’s fascinating in astrology is, uh, every sign is either masculine or feminine. Every planet is deemed either masculine or feminine and, uh, and helping women whose, whose inherent natural nature is more masculine, helping that, helping them lean more into their feminine behaviorally. And in terms of interacting with men, it makes them so much happier and it makes men so much more attracted to them.

And that might get some hate mail right now. I hope not. I say, I listen, what I’m enjoying listening to you is, is how much we agree coming from completely different backgrounds and arriving at very similar conclusions using slightly different language would even describe my clients.

You, you know, you talk about my as if they’re all, you know, bad asses, you know, corner office, black diamond competitive skiers. Um, but there’s a good number of them. I would say even half of them are women who are, are bright and competent enough to have gone to good colleges and make six figures, but they also fall deeply in love.

They also don’t trust their man picker. They also stay too long in dead end relationships and sit on the sidelines. And I describe it like they have one really strong muscle and they have one very weak muscle and you and I both provide the, the, the, the guideposts for them to avoid falling into some of those patterns.

So hearing, hearing what we do from your perspective, uh, kind of just lights me up inside because I just feel like yes, yes, yes, you’re completely right. Um, go ahead and say that. Yes, yes, yes.

So you describe, uh, over 50% of people, um, as late bloomers in love. Yeah. I don’t know where the dividing line starts because I feel like a late bloomer in love.

Cause I, I didn’t figure anything out until I was 35 ish. I don’t know where that dividing line begins, but, uh, why do you think more people are late bloomers in love? And what’s your, what’s your version of those events? Well, astrologically every planet has an age and it sounds crazy. And I totally appreciate that this sounds crazy.

Every planet has an age that matures and before that planet matures, you don’t get the best of what it represents. So the planet of commitment and the planet of maturity itself is the planet Saturn. And when Saturn is strongly influencing relationships in a person’s chart, Saturn matures, OG is 35. And so things tend to be suppressed until the mid 30s and on for strong Saturn people. And you are a strong Saturn person.

You have in the system that I practice, which by the way, has different calculations and shifts the whole chart back 24 degrees. So most people are the sign before, the sign they’ve always thought. Your chart has the, may I say, may I review? All I thought I was, I’ll just get this out of the way.

I just thought I was a typical Leo. That’s what everybody always told me. Oh, you’re such a Leo.

And I was like, yeah, I guess I am. Well, you’re actually a typical Cancer in the system that I do. Oh my God.

But you have the moon in Capricorn and Capricorn is a late blooming moon sign. And the moon sign is our attachments, our relationships. And in a man’s chart, it’s one of the indicators of the wife.

Capricorn and Aquarius are the two signs ruled by Saturn in the Vedic system. My husband was also 35 when we got married. He has the moon in Aquarius.

And our mentor Eben Pagan has the moon in Aquarius. He didn’t get married till after 40. And he told me he was a lone wolf.

He was never getting married. And I said, you are so full of it. You are such a sweetie pie.

You’re totally gonna get married and have kids. And he did. So forgive me for talking out of school, Eben.

But so people that have moon in Aquarius, moon in Capricorn, Saturn with Venus. Venus is the planet of love. Venus in Capricorn, Venus in Aquarius.

These people have much better luck in love when they’re older, they’re much happier. So they come to me in their twenties and they’re like, what am I doing wrong? And I’m like, nothing. It’s like, you’re on a train in San Francisco and you wanna be in Santa Barbara and you keep stopping at every stop in Palo Alto, in Los Gatos, in San Jose.

And you keep thinking something’s wrong with you. Your train just hasn’t reached the station. That’s all it is.

I love the metaphors because those things are really, really accessible and they’re easier to digest. Because unless, like if you’re describing Venus, Venus and Saturn is me describing the ins and outs of fantasy football for someone who doesn’t follow football. It’s all God-believing, exactly.

But I could actually fully understand that, again, regardless of my understanding of the Zodiac and the stars and Vedic astrology, timing really, really does matter. And I’ve said before, I never would have chosen my wife two years before we met. I wasn’t ready for her.

And she was in a relationship with someone else two years after, right? I wouldn’t be looking for a woman who is 40, 41 to have two kids. So our window was just when we met. And it’s almost impossible to think of what my life would look like if I didn’t jump through that window.

It’s sort of astonishing. So I think this is why people need to be really sort of, when they talk to you, self-aware and really proactive in love and taking advantage of those windows of opportunity and giving yourself an emotional free pass if you’re in a down cycle, I don’t know how to best put it. Well, and that’s, I love that you said an emotional free pass because that’s what people tell me later.

They’ll come to me in a down cycle or a season of loneliness and they’re like, what am I doing wrong? Because it doesn’t matter how many men you meet or how many dates you go on or how hard you try or how many matchmakers you hire. If it’s not time, it’s like trying to plant crops when the ground is frozen and you’re just not gonna get the results. Now that doesn’t mean you won’t still grow and learn.

It doesn’t mean, I don’t believe that anything’s ever wasted. I just am not a person who believes in regret. I think all of our lives are full of ups and downs and times of expansion and contraction.

And it’s just like, welcome to life on planet earth, right? So just enjoy it all, welcome it all, give yourself a break. And they tell me later that they hated the reading, they hated hearing, they were in a blocked cycle. They felt so discouraged when they left, but over time it became such a comfort because as they still tried to play a little game I call beat the planets, right? As they still tried to create something lasting and significant, it became something to hold onto.

Like, okay, this isn’t my fault, I’m not crazy. Carol said, everyone will be unavailable or I wouldn’t like them or they live far away or they’d be married to someone else or they’d be selfish or whatever. And then when I said it was time, there the guy comes and it happened in my own life.

My marriage was predicted seven years in advance. And then two weeks before my husband showed up, I went to a party with a bunch of Vedic astrologers, a Christmas party, and we all shared our charts and we all made predictions for each other. And the whole room said, Mr. Wright is coming.

And two weeks later, there was my old boyfriend who was engaged to someone else who I thought was so long gone. And he came back and said everything out of the movies. And I was like, oh my God, is it you? And sure enough, it was him.

And I even said to him, well, you know, I mean I’m supposed to get married this year so I can’t be exclusive. And he was like, whatever crazy, it’s me. So luckily for me, he was hardheaded and persistent.

Otherwise, who knows what would have happened. But so it’s just, it’s so much fun again to give women comfort and peace of mind and hope and an understanding. It’s like trying to cross country without a map.

I love giving people the map and the train schedule and that peace of mind so that when they’re on the train in, you know, Atherton, they can enjoy Atherton and they can relax, Santa Barbara’s coming, right? Can people, I think I know the answer. Can people transcend this? Does it have to be the letter of the law that if you say the timing’s wrong it’s therefore impossible to find love? Because if I’m, listen, if I’m a 37 year old woman who wants to find another guy in the next couple of years and you tell me what the chart says sucks for you. Yeah.

It doesn’t matter. I gotta take some action now because I don’t have the luxury of listening to the stars in this instance. There’s not many instances where there is that kind of sense of urgency but that’s a real one.

You know, it depends. So there’s a range, there’s a spectrum of possibility and some people it’s like, there is no way. And when it’s that hard core and they’re asking me, I will tell them I just don’t think it’s gonna matter.

So if you really want kids, freeze some eggs. Like, you know, I really think it’s later. And then some people it’s a little more mixed but when they’re really in a block time they’re really in a block time.

And all the prayer, all the rituals, you know, this is Vedic astrology which is part of Hinduism. And in Hinduism there are rituals and mantras and, you know, you can hire priests to do ceremonies and you can give to charity and you can do all these things that are supposed to be remedial. I’ve never seen somebody overcome that kind of timing.

So in my experience, it depends but if it’s hard and fast, it’s hard and fast. Okay. Yeah.

There’s so much big picture stuff, right? So many- Big picture. So many useful metaphors. The hand gestures don’t mean much for an audio podcast but there will be a few hundred people who see this on YouTube.

Yes. What’s some simple, specific, tangible takeaway advice that someone can gain from this conversation that they can internalize and apply to their own life? Perhaps that they don’t hear anywhere else because of your unique perspective. Well, I think one of the greatest gifts of something like astrology is philosophical, right? This idea that there’s a larger unfolding that’s not all on you and up to you.

Your life isn’t all because of you and it isn’t all your fault. So you can’t take all the credit and you can’t take all the blame. You’re working within a larger system and just like the weather isn’t up to you, just like the time we live in and what’s happening in technology or politically or with your friends, that’s not all up to you or your fault, right? And so this idea that we can have more faith and more peace and more joy and truthfully be more spiritual about it because dating and seeking love requires tremendous vulnerability and faith.

Having this sense that what will be will be and what’s meant to me for me will come and what’s mine will be obvious and what isn’t mine isn’t mine. So if you meet somebody that you really love, but it doesn’t work, it doesn’t work. And maybe that love was to show you a side of yourself you didn’t know you had or to show you what’s possible in terms of how you could feel or how someone could feel about you, but it wasn’t about ending up with them.

So a huge takeaway I want everyone to have is to just trust more and relax more and enjoy the journey more and also to really believe in love more you know, part of what I love about your work is you really help people believe in love and believe in themselves and trust themselves. And I want everybody to do that too. And that’s where our work very much aligns as well.

And I always joke with you, you always say, oh, I’m not a weird guy and I’m not, you know, into all this esoteric stuff, but you’re absolutely doing God’s work. And you’ve absolutely been such a spiritual gift to the women you’ve worked with and the people who are listening right now. So those are the big takeaways, I would say.

It’s really kind of you, Carol. And listen, over the decades of doing this, ironically, I’ve become softer, less arrogant, more open to things that I don’t know and understand, certainly less judgmental of things that I don’t know and understand. And so when someone says you’re doing God’s work, I receive that.

When my wife’s mother prays for me, I receive that. It almost doesn’t, it doesn’t matter what I believe. Because I don’t think we need to share a belief system per se to be able to say the same way religions do.

We’re all pointing in the same direction. We all want to have a transcendent love. There are more effective ways to go about it than other ways.

And what’s within your control that you can do to make different choices. And I think you’ve been doing an amazing job for so many years. I think of the thousands of people that you’ve given private readings to.

I know, it’s crazy. Where you’re not doing this sort of paced by numbers coaching session that a lot of people do. Everything you do is customized to that individual based on her unique information.

Yeah, and I often will put people off. They’ll say, oh, I want to hire you to help me find love. And I’ll look at their chart and I’ll go, great.

Call me next year. And they’re like, what? But I’m ready now. And I’m like, well, you might be ready now, but it’s not going to happen now.

And so if we do it now, you’re going to get burnt out. You’re going to get discouraged. You’re going to feel less motivated.

And then you won’t want to next year. I had a client I told that to last year. She called me back this year.

We got her up and running in February and they’ve been so happy, going great guns. And she’s 72 and she keeps calling me going, I can’t find any red flags. I can’t find any red flags.

It’s so cute. And that’s what it’s like when the stars are smiling. I love that.

Ladies and gentlemen, this is Carol Allen. You can find her at her website, soulmatestars.com. And if you want to get a private reading from Carol with all of her wisdom and experience, click on the link in the show notes to go directly to apply or book a time with her. She’s wonderful, she’s affordable and you will not regret it.

You’ll have a one of a kind unique experience with her that I promise. My name is Evan Mark Katz. This is the Love You Podcast.

I thank you so much for joining me. If you are not already on my mailing list, go to evanmarkatz.com/quiz to learn why you waste time with the wrong men. If you are not on my Extraordinary Love Series mailing list, go to extraordinaryloveseries.com. Every month I do a lecture and a live Q&A on a different topic.

So I’ll be able to answer your questions, high value women seeking high value men on a customized topic every single month. And if you are serious about finding love and want someone to hold your hand through this process until you figure it out, go to evanmarkatz.com forward slash now, book a time to talk with me and I’ll ask you a whole bunch of questions about you and figure out the best way to work together. Thank you so much for your time and attention.

I love you, I appreciate you and I will talk to you soon.

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Do you ever feel like love just isn’t happening—no matter how hard you try? In this episode of the Love U Podcast, I sit down with my dear friend and Vedic astrologer Carol Allen to explore why timing, energy, and emotional readiness might matter more than effort alone. We break down the difference between chemistry and compatibility, how to spot high-capacity partners, and why so many smart, successful women are late bloomers in love. Whether you’re into astrology or just curious about a new way to understand your dating patterns, this conversation is packed with powerful insights that can save you time, heartbreak, and self-doubt. Tune in now to feel more hopeful—and more aligned with love.

About Today’s Guest:
Carol Allen is a happily married Vedic astrologer and relationship coach whose mission is to empower women to enjoy truly “out of this world” love lives. Her methods are a unique marriage of East and West, combining her training in the astrology of India with cutting-edge, real-world relationship research.

Whether you’re looking for a soulmate, want to deepen an existing relationship, or heal lifelong love patterns, the answers are literally written in the stars… and almost anything can be made much better with your own right actions once you know the truth and what to do about it.

Carol’s been featured on E!, Bridezillas, EXTRA, Dr. Drew’s Lifechangers and in Chicken Soup For The Soul, Woman’s World, and Daily Candy, and is the author of Love Is In The Stars – The Wise Woman’s Astrological Guide To Men. She is regularly heard by hundreds of thousands of people on major relationship summits, podcasts, and radio shows.

So don’t wait on fate – discover the awesome power you have to attract, enhance, and sustain a great love, and make the most of your romantic destiny with Carol’s free newsletter and catalog of books, personalized astrology reports, and relationship programs, here: www.evanmarckatz.com/carol

What You’ll Hear

  • Celebrating 400 episodes of the Love U Podcast and 3 million+ downloads

  • Why Carol Allen is the only repeat guest on the show—and what makes her so unique

  • What Vedic astrology is and how it differs from Western astrology

  • The importance of relationship capacity over surface-level compatibility

  • Why timing matters in love—and how astrology can reveal your “seasons of loneliness”

  • The trap of “Shazam chemistry” and why it’s not a predictor of long-term happiness

  • Real-life client stories where astrology revealed major red flags before heartbreak

  • Evan and Carol’s shared belief: a man’s consistent effort is the clearest sign he’s ready

  • The two most common types of women who seek out Carol’s readings

  • How high-achieving women can unintentionally lead with masculine energy—and how to shift it

  • What makes someone a “late bloomer” in love, and why it’s perfectly normal

  • The emotional relief women feel when they learn love isn’t “all their fault”

  • Practical, empowering takeaways about trust, timing, and spiritual perspective

  • A beautiful reminder: the right love will make you feel safe, heard, and understood

Full Episode Transcript
Hey, my name is Evan Marc Katz. This is the LoveU Podcast. Thank you so much for joining me.

If you’re a regular listener, please subscribe on Apple, subscribe on Spotify, leave us a positive review. We are up to 533 mostly positive reviews and counting, and I am grateful. It gets us into the algorithm.

More and more people are talking about this. We have celebrated some milestones recently, 400th episode, 3 millionth download, really great stuff. And as I was saying prior to getting on the air today, I am in the most positive mood I have been in over a year, which doesn’t make any sense since the world is actively collapsing around us.

And yet, and yet, I am more and more grateful for the relationships that I have, the friendships that I have, the career that I have, the connection that I get to have with my clients. And so it is just my honor and pleasure to reintroduce a close friend. She is one of the only people who has been on this podcast multiple times.

Everybody else gets one interview, but my friend Carol Allen gets multiple interviews. He could teach a class in friendship. Nobody does it like she does.

She can and does teach classes and love. She also has a very unique niche as a Vedic astrologer who happens to have the credentials of having done this for 30 years and being married for 25-ish. Don’t get me started on how much this woman has lived and learned and known and shared and how many lives she’s impacted.

Her official biography, because I’ve got to read the official biography. Carol Allen is a happily married Vedic astrologer and relationship coach whose mission is to empower women. I know it’s hard to listen to me talk about you on a podcast.

I’m like, I know I wrote this, but this is really awkward. Her methods are a unique marriage of East and West, combining her training in the astrology of India with cutting-edge real-world relationship research. Whether you’re looking for a soulmate, want to deepen an existing relationship, heal lifelong love patterns, the answers are literally written in the stars, and almost anything can be made much better with your own right actions once you know the truth and what to do about it.

Carol has been on E! Bridezilla’s Extra, Dr. Drew’s Life Changer, Chicken Soup for the Soul, Woman’s World, Daily Candy, and is the author of Love is in the Stars, The Wise Woman’s Astrological Guide to Men. She’s regularly heard by hundreds of thousands of people on major relationship summits, podcasts, and radio shows. So do not wait on fate.

Discover the awesome power you have to attract, enhance, and sustain great love, and make the most of your romantic destiny with Carol’s free newsletter and catalog of books, astrology reports, and relationship programs. You can find her at loveisinthestars.com. My BFFAEAE, ever and ever, Carol. Carol Allen.

Oh, sweetheart. Oh, my God. I hope we didn’t lose everybody just then.

Come back. Come back. I mean, it is the professional thing that we have to do to tout each other’s accomplishments in a sense.

Redemption. Otherwise, I’m just having a yappy conversation like we did the 20 minutes before we recorded. Well, and the truth is, none of that would have happened.

I would not be here or really anywhere else if you had not made one of the most important professional introductions of my life that led me to an amazing mentor, that led me to my online publisher, that led me to this whole mad, mad marketing world you and I are both in that has introduced us to so many of our amazing clients in our communities and been so fortunate. I just would do anything for you and congratulations on the success of this fantastic podcast and thanks for having me back. Sure.

It is genuinely my pleasure. We should hang out in person, but since we’re here, my focus is something I haven’t been doing for many, many years since I started this podcast in 2016. The easiest thing to do is turn on the mic and turn on the camera and talk about what I’m learning from talking with my clients.

The harder thing is to schedule something when everybody’s really busy. So I’m returning to the well and interviewing people that I think really have something unique to offer. That’s really where I want to dive in today.

One of the things that I love about you is that you and I give almost identical relationship advice, but we come at it at such different angles. I’m so not woo-woo astrology anything, but there is a huge lane of people who really love this, respond to it. So I really want to give you the platform today to share how the stars explain everything to us in ways that I don’t even understand.

So what exactly is, for the people who just read the horoscope in the newspaper, when there were newspapers, what is Vedic astrology? How is it different than what we consider astrology? There’s over 50 kinds of astrology. People don’t know this. So there’s Celtic and Mayan and Hebrew and Chinese and Nepalese and Persian and Greek and Roman and Egyptian and on and on and on.

Vedic is from ancient India, and it’s of the over 50 kinds. It’s the most consistently practiced, the least interrupted, and the most fully integrated with a culture. What I love about it is they’ve never lost their treasure trove of knowledge.

So much of the Western system, which is the system here in our newspapers and magazines, and that whenever you read those, like, which sign is better for, you know, X, Y, Z, that is the Western system. And what I love, love, love about the Vedic system is they never, there was never a big book burning campaign. They never burned all the astrologers at the stake.

The church didn’t try to wipe it out. All their original writings weren’t lost at the great fire in Alexandria in ancient Greece, which happened to the Western system. So all my mentors and teachers, when they found it, they said it was like, they were all Western astrologers first.

And they said it was like going from high school to getting a PhD at MIT. There was just so much more technique to work with and so much more information. And it’s used to this day to arrange marriages over 80% of the population’s Hindu and over 90% of the population still has arranged marriages, if you can believe it.

So they don’t get married without an astrologer giving the thumbs up. And so the techniques are just astonishing for both predicting when marriage should happen and when love can come into your life or when you’re in what I call a season of loneliness. And then looking at the capacity of each person to be a good partner.

And then looking at all the myriad of ways people are compatible or incompatible. And it’s so much fun to have this technology to look way ahead at people’s lives and at people’s relationships, and tell them what’s going on. It’s really fun.

I remember you did a reading for me before I got married. Yes. And the same way I don’t remember the plot of a book or a movie, all I remember is the feeling of what I had when I was experiencing it.

I remember you telling me that my relationship was the equivalent of good but not great. I think that’s what the stars said. Well, here’s what you did, which is actually what the ancient books in India say to do.

Everybody hears about astrology more in terms of what’s called sun sign astrology. Like, hey, Aquarius, you’re best with Gemini and Libra. And sun sign astrology is what I call pop astrology.

We’re all not just the sun. It’s sort of like deciding every cake is just flour, right? Like, if you had a mouthful of flour, even though it’s the main ingredient in most cakes, would that taste anything like cake? No, you need all the ingredients. And then you need the process they go to to become a cake.

And we’re all like that. But we cherry pick these individual things about each chart, because it’s fun to sort of try to understand ourselves and try to have a way to quickly for article purposes, horoscope purposes, Facebook posts, TikTok videos to try to convey like that every single Gemini or Libra or Scorpio or whatever is the same. So people hear about astrology first in terms of themselves and then compatibility.

But the first thing you’re supposed to look at when it comes to mate selection is actually what’s called relationship capacity. And it’s more important to choose someone with high capacity, who’s kind, who’s generous, who’s loving, who’s loyal, who’s emotionally healthy enough to want to show up for you and to see their part and to take responsibility and communicate effectively, than it is to be with someone that you have Shazam compatibility with. And actually, if you pick someone where you have all the compatibility coordinates perfect, but they have low capacity, and we see this all the time, Evan, in our work, when women feel like struck by lightning, and they they’ve never left so easily, and the chemistry has never been so good.

And they just time flies with the guy, but he’s a lousy boyfriend, or he’s selfish, or he’s unavailable somehow, or he’s moody, or he has addictions, or he’s got an anger problem. It’s actually a curse to have that amazing Wow, Shazam thing. And so you pick somebody with extremely high capacity, who more slowly grew on you, and more, your relationship and your love grew out of shared experience, and her just constantly revealing all these incredible, beautiful gifts that she provided, until you woke up one day, and you’re like, wow, I’m so in love.

I didn’t see this coming. And that’s actually better. So the mediocre or the sort of average thing that I was talking about was that it wasn’t her, it was the combination of the two of you.

And that’s better. Okay. Yeah.

Yeah. I didn’t mean to put you on the defensive about that. I just thought that my recollection, you said, hey, before you get married, I have to do a reading.

I was like, all right. I’m far be it for me to look a gift horse in the mouth. Um, so, um, well, you’re a good friend, and I wanted to make sure you were doing the right thing.

I appreciate it. I don’t know what I would have done if I got a different report. That would really throw me off my axis.

So why is having this understanding so helpful with love? Does this function and again, I’m going to be me, right? Like, like, you know, I’ll put, you know, all the Evan stuff aside, but I’m going to be me. Um, does this function almost like a lot of the things that we experience online where people want information about themselves? So this, this functions like a Myers-Briggs test or an attachment style thing. Is this just another lens through which to view the world that provides information for how we show up? Yes, but it’s actually also deeper than that, because that’s just what you said, how people show up, what they respond to, how they kind of move through the world.

But this also shows, you know, so much more, you know, like timing, is it there for, for lack of a better word, forgive me, is it their destiny or their karma to marry? Are they, are, will they have children or not? Right? So all of that is, you can see all that stuff. And, and when is it good to do each of these things? Um, and so, so what’s helpful about it to your, to your first question, how does this help? Why is this important? Is when you first meet someone, you might have great energy with them or great chemistry with them. The people are on their best behavior and we all lie to each other about who we are, right? Or we don’t even realize who we are, right? So we don’t necessarily lie, but we, we misrepresent.

No, no, I’m super social. No, no, I’m super easygoing. No, no, I’m, I can’t wait to have kids.

We know, we know what people want to hear and we present ourselves as such because it’s like interviewing for a job. You don’t want to self eliminate. Right.

So what this helps you do is know somebody more quickly and know what’s fair to expect and know not just about them, but there’s, there’s this alchemy that happens between two people that actually creates a different, like a separate third entity between them that has strengths and weaknesses of its own. And, and what this does, Evan, and what I love, love, love about being able to do this for, you know, mostly women, most of my practice is women, is women put so much pressure on themselves and have so much noise often about relationships, you know, do, does this person like me, am I doing this correctly? Am I good enough? Am I pretty enough? Am I sexy enough? Am I good in bed? Am I, am I, am I, am I, sometimes something’s just oil and water and it’s not your fault. And it’s not because you’re not pretty enough or you’re the wrong age or you wait too much or you weren’t good in bed or, or, or, or you didn’t flirt or you were too needy or all those like stories we tell ourselves in relationships, maybe it just wasn’t meant to be.

So for example, you know, I, I have a lot of clients I work with in an ongoing way and they can contact me anytime that they meet somebody new and they want me to check them out. And I had a client a week ago, so excited because she met a guy at a conference. He was being so supportive and loving.

She was going through a big heartbreak with her daughter. This guy was charming and funny and encouraging and complimentary. She was so happy.

So she had me check him out. And I was like, uh, this guy’s like highly sensitive and pretty angry and, you know, impatient. And, and you guys were like near like oil and water.

And I’m, I’m kind of surprised it went that well, well, she, they followed up and she was going to visit him the following week. And immediately he did all the stuff I said, right? Like he did all the stuff I said, he got angry at everything. He like pushed back on everything, everything annoyed him.

And she was blown away. She said he was completely different than when she had first met him. And the fact that I had warned her and then it all unfolded, took all the noise out of what did I do? Oh my God, he was so great before I must’ve done something wrong.

Right. Or, you know, it just helped her have her eyes so wide open. Right.

Um, I had another client, uh, just the other day asked me about a guy that she just met online. And I could see this guy was like super fun, super cute, very sexy, very masculine, all the things that like make women swoon. Right.

And I said, this guy is very like, he’s had a lot of change. He’s not here to settle down. I don’t think this is anybody’s husband.

I think this guy is going to come on really strong, but I think he’s like a rascal and a rogue and a Rolling Stone. And she wrote me back and she said, you’re a thousand percent right. So, you know, trying to, trying to tame one of those guys is beyond anyone’s capacity.

So, so it’s just fun. It’s just really, it’s really fun to be able to save women a lot of time and trouble and heartbreak. Um, can I ask some more questions about this? Yes.

Because again, I always try to find the overlap between what we, what we do and what we say, because that’s, that’s where I, that’s my intersection point with your work. A lot of what you’re talking about is timing. And I think that’s, I think I’m going to do a podcast on it.

I literally had my little post-it note yesterday about how, in a way it doesn’t, I mean, we could ascribe the timing to something that was written in the stars thousands of years ago, or we could just say he’s been divorced for four weeks, right? He’s ready for a relationship or he’s only calling you once a week and it’s been two months. All we have to do is just observe the behavior. So I get less focused on the why, what’s why he disappeared.

I don’t worry too much about the why, whether it was written in the stars, whether he’s going through, like all I pay attention to is right now, is this guy based on his efforts, making you feel like a top priority in his life and is it fundamentally flowing and easy? And all the why, I kind of sort of shrugged Maybe it’s all right. But to me, we can almost arrive at the same point just based on how is this man showing up for you? Yes. Well, and how are you feeling? Because when it’s right, as you so beautifully write about and talk about, you’re going to feel peaceful and relaxed and you don’t have to ask, what’s he thinking? Where’s this headed? Because he’ll be showing up and it’ll be obvious.

So what you’re basically saying is why do they need to do my method? If anything, I’m curious about where there’s a disconnect. Let’s say, and again, I can’t say whether the stars are right or wrong, but let’s say there are two people who genuinely, the stars say they’re great, hypothetically. So you give them a great report, but the reality of the relationship isn’t that great.

Do they stick with the relationship because the stars say it’s great? No, not at all. This is why I’m trying to figure out what do we do with the information because we know when, hey, the stars say that it’s not a good time in your life or in his life, this is not the window. But I’m curious about the reverse situation.

Well, I’ll tell you what, in my experience of working with women for 34 years, overwhelmingly, the biggest regret people have is staying past the expiration date, right? Staying too long. And what happens a lot is when there’s a lot of good connections between two people and both people are basically good people, they can get pretty far. But I’ve had clients be really happy for like a year with someone, but after a year, things went sideways.

I had a client, she dated a guy for a year. They lived together like 10 months of that year. They moved in too fast for sure.

And at about a year point, he started really withdrawing and kind of shutting down and not communicating. And about a year, she hung on and hung on and hung on because there was still all that good and all that nice history, but it completely fell apart at about a year, eight months. And he just went screaming off into the night one night.

Well, we didn’t look at him until later and his chart was not a relationship chart, like at all. And I said to her, you didn’t fail. It couldn’t have been different.

Yes. He had all these ways that he could show up, but ultimately he couldn’t sustain it. And this wasn’t your fault.

So again, what it does, Evan, is it, you know, people need the why sometimes they need a way to intellectually understand and they need a way to feel, you know, some peace. And, and it, it had, I looked at him ahead of time. I would have said like, I don’t think this is a, you know, this isn’t a horse you want to bet on for the long term.

This is like, she said later, this should have been a year long fling. It would have been great, but we never should have lived together. And I shouldn’t have held on so long.

Right. But what it could have showed up, you know, but that’s where humans get involved, right? Sort of regardless of anything, the human element is people stay in bad relationships because of chemistry, inertia, the fear that they can’t do better, the fear of being alone the dread of dating. Yeah.

All right. So there’s a bunch of reasons that people overstay their welcome because change is hard and change is scary. And sometimes like, again, metaphorically, if you hate your job, but you don’t know you can get a job, you stay in your crappy job because at least it pays the bills.

And so everybody eventually recognizes that being in a bad relationship is the worst scenario of all. You’re better off being alone. And that’s, you know, and then people get rid of the bad relationship and then they get so content being alone that they forget the possibility of finding love because at least they’re not in a bad relationship.

Right. Yeah. I wanted to, I want to, again, bring it back to your area of expertise.

And because there’s women listening to me right now and, you know, I’m like, you know, I’ve worked with a certain kind of woman. There’s a type that comes to me. And I’m trying to find the overlap between, you know, the people who come to me and people who come to you.

And my guess is that there’s a ton of overlap. So in your experience, your 30 years, what kind of women are most likely to reach out to you for customized readings and dating and relationship coaching? Well, overwhelmingly I hear from highly sensitive women. And I think highly sensitive women are more, they feel energy more, they’re more intuitive.

So they often have more open-mindedness around spiritual things, esoteric things. So, and highly sensitive women are more romantic as a group. They’re more affected by chemistry.

They’re more able to fall in love like really fast. So they get into more trouble and they get more hurt. Right.

And they, they get sort of blinded more by chemistry. And, and then when they get hurt, they shut down and withdraw for longer. So they go longer between relationships and in relationships, they pour themselves.

They tend to over-function, over-give. And, and so then they really shouldn’t date by themselves because they get very sorry-eyed. They get very swept off their feet.

Probably trusting their own judgment at a certain point. Right. Right.

And so they really do need some guardrails and somebody there to go like, whoa, whoa, whoa, hold on, honey. And then I get the really alpha badass professional women, like you do, you know, very strong, successful, high functioning, who unintentionally can really like put a guy’s balls in her purse. Right.

So, so, and then they wonder like, Oh, I don’t, I don’t understand. Like, uh, why are men not falling for me? You know, and they hire me to help with their profiles and their profiles. We’d like resumes, you know, I’ve achieved this and I’ve done that.

And I own this and I go there and, you know, they don’t drop down into their hearts. And, you know, our friend Rory Ray says such a great thing. A man can’t connect you to your heart unless you’re in it.

Right. So, so, uh, so helping those women maintain their strength and their success, but also connect more to their vulnerability and their more feminine side. And, you know, you and I are both Pat Allen fans who John Gray calls the father of us all, who talks about masculine and feminine energy and how in a partnership, one person has to be predominantly one and the other person has to be predominantly the other.

You can trade hats, but there is this kind of yin and Yang, this polarity that happens when both energies are present in a relationship. And in modern times, you know, we’re very rewarded as women for being masculine. It’s how we make money.

It’s how we get status. It’s how we get title. It’s how we, you know, it’s how we take care of ourselves, but it can also say to a guy, I don’t need anything.

I’m better than you. I got it. I, you know, and then men don’t feel 10 feet tall around us.

So what’s fascinating in astrology is, uh, every sign is either masculine or feminine. Every planet is deemed either masculine or feminine and, uh, and helping women whose, whose inherent natural nature is more masculine, helping that, helping them lean more into their feminine behaviorally. And in terms of interacting with men, it makes them so much happier and it makes men so much more attracted to them.

And that might get some hate mail right now. I hope not. I say, I listen, what I’m enjoying listening to you is, is how much we agree coming from completely different backgrounds and arriving at very similar conclusions using slightly different language would even describe my clients.

You, you know, you talk about my as if they’re all, you know, bad asses, you know, corner office, black diamond competitive skiers. Um, but there’s a good number of them. I would say even half of them are women who are, are bright and competent enough to have gone to good colleges and make six figures, but they also fall deeply in love.

They also don’t trust their man picker. They also stay too long in dead end relationships and sit on the sidelines. And I describe it like they have one really strong muscle and they have one very weak muscle and you and I both provide the, the, the, the guideposts for them to avoid falling into some of those patterns.

So hearing, hearing what we do from your perspective, uh, kind of just lights me up inside because I just feel like yes, yes, yes, you’re completely right. Um, go ahead and say that. Yes, yes, yes.

So you describe, uh, over 50% of people, um, as late bloomers in love. Yeah. I don’t know where the dividing line starts because I feel like a late bloomer in love.

Cause I, I didn’t figure anything out until I was 35 ish. I don’t know where that dividing line begins, but, uh, why do you think more people are late bloomers in love? And what’s your, what’s your version of those events? Well, astrologically every planet has an age and it sounds crazy. And I totally appreciate that this sounds crazy.

Every planet has an age that matures and before that planet matures, you don’t get the best of what it represents. So the planet of commitment and the planet of maturity itself is the planet Saturn. And when Saturn is strongly influencing relationships in a person’s chart, Saturn matures, OG is 35. And so things tend to be suppressed until the mid 30s and on for strong Saturn people. And you are a strong Saturn person.

You have in the system that I practice, which by the way, has different calculations and shifts the whole chart back 24 degrees. So most people are the sign before, the sign they’ve always thought. Your chart has the, may I say, may I review? All I thought I was, I’ll just get this out of the way.

I just thought I was a typical Leo. That’s what everybody always told me. Oh, you’re such a Leo.

And I was like, yeah, I guess I am. Well, you’re actually a typical Cancer in the system that I do. Oh my God.

But you have the moon in Capricorn and Capricorn is a late blooming moon sign. And the moon sign is our attachments, our relationships. And in a man’s chart, it’s one of the indicators of the wife.

Capricorn and Aquarius are the two signs ruled by Saturn in the Vedic system. My husband was also 35 when we got married. He has the moon in Aquarius.

And our mentor Eben Pagan has the moon in Aquarius. He didn’t get married till after 40. And he told me he was a lone wolf.

He was never getting married. And I said, you are so full of it. You are such a sweetie pie.

You’re totally gonna get married and have kids. And he did. So forgive me for talking out of school, Eben.

But so people that have moon in Aquarius, moon in Capricorn, Saturn with Venus. Venus is the planet of love. Venus in Capricorn, Venus in Aquarius.

These people have much better luck in love when they’re older, they’re much happier. So they come to me in their twenties and they’re like, what am I doing wrong? And I’m like, nothing. It’s like, you’re on a train in San Francisco and you wanna be in Santa Barbara and you keep stopping at every stop in Palo Alto, in Los Gatos, in San Jose.

And you keep thinking something’s wrong with you. Your train just hasn’t reached the station. That’s all it is.

I love the metaphors because those things are really, really accessible and they’re easier to digest. Because unless, like if you’re describing Venus, Venus and Saturn is me describing the ins and outs of fantasy football for someone who doesn’t follow football. It’s all God-believing, exactly.

But I could actually fully understand that, again, regardless of my understanding of the Zodiac and the stars and Vedic astrology, timing really, really does matter. And I’ve said before, I never would have chosen my wife two years before we met. I wasn’t ready for her.

And she was in a relationship with someone else two years after, right? I wouldn’t be looking for a woman who is 40, 41 to have two kids. So our window was just when we met. And it’s almost impossible to think of what my life would look like if I didn’t jump through that window.

It’s sort of astonishing. So I think this is why people need to be really sort of, when they talk to you, self-aware and really proactive in love and taking advantage of those windows of opportunity and giving yourself an emotional free pass if you’re in a down cycle, I don’t know how to best put it. Well, and that’s, I love that you said an emotional free pass because that’s what people tell me later.

They’ll come to me in a down cycle or a season of loneliness and they’re like, what am I doing wrong? Because it doesn’t matter how many men you meet or how many dates you go on or how hard you try or how many matchmakers you hire. If it’s not time, it’s like trying to plant crops when the ground is frozen and you’re just not gonna get the results. Now that doesn’t mean you won’t still grow and learn.

It doesn’t mean, I don’t believe that anything’s ever wasted. I just am not a person who believes in regret. I think all of our lives are full of ups and downs and times of expansion and contraction.

And it’s just like, welcome to life on planet earth, right? So just enjoy it all, welcome it all, give yourself a break. And they tell me later that they hated the reading, they hated hearing, they were in a blocked cycle. They felt so discouraged when they left, but over time it became such a comfort because as they still tried to play a little game I call beat the planets, right? As they still tried to create something lasting and significant, it became something to hold onto.

Like, okay, this isn’t my fault, I’m not crazy. Carol said, everyone will be unavailable or I wouldn’t like them or they live far away or they’d be married to someone else or they’d be selfish or whatever. And then when I said it was time, there the guy comes and it happened in my own life.

My marriage was predicted seven years in advance. And then two weeks before my husband showed up, I went to a party with a bunch of Vedic astrologers, a Christmas party, and we all shared our charts and we all made predictions for each other. And the whole room said, Mr. Wright is coming.

And two weeks later, there was my old boyfriend who was engaged to someone else who I thought was so long gone. And he came back and said everything out of the movies. And I was like, oh my God, is it you? And sure enough, it was him.

And I even said to him, well, you know, I mean I’m supposed to get married this year so I can’t be exclusive. And he was like, whatever crazy, it’s me. So luckily for me, he was hardheaded and persistent.

Otherwise, who knows what would have happened. But so it’s just, it’s so much fun again to give women comfort and peace of mind and hope and an understanding. It’s like trying to cross country without a map.

I love giving people the map and the train schedule and that peace of mind so that when they’re on the train in, you know, Atherton, they can enjoy Atherton and they can relax, Santa Barbara’s coming, right? Can people, I think I know the answer. Can people transcend this? Does it have to be the letter of the law that if you say the timing’s wrong it’s therefore impossible to find love? Because if I’m, listen, if I’m a 37 year old woman who wants to find another guy in the next couple of years and you tell me what the chart says sucks for you. Yeah.

It doesn’t matter. I gotta take some action now because I don’t have the luxury of listening to the stars in this instance. There’s not many instances where there is that kind of sense of urgency but that’s a real one.

You know, it depends. So there’s a range, there’s a spectrum of possibility and some people it’s like, there is no way. And when it’s that hard core and they’re asking me, I will tell them I just don’t think it’s gonna matter.

So if you really want kids, freeze some eggs. Like, you know, I really think it’s later. And then some people it’s a little more mixed but when they’re really in a block time they’re really in a block time.

And all the prayer, all the rituals, you know, this is Vedic astrology which is part of Hinduism. And in Hinduism there are rituals and mantras and, you know, you can hire priests to do ceremonies and you can give to charity and you can do all these things that are supposed to be remedial. I’ve never seen somebody overcome that kind of timing.

So in my experience, it depends but if it’s hard and fast, it’s hard and fast. Okay. Yeah.

There’s so much big picture stuff, right? So many- Big picture. So many useful metaphors. The hand gestures don’t mean much for an audio podcast but there will be a few hundred people who see this on YouTube.

Yes. What’s some simple, specific, tangible takeaway advice that someone can gain from this conversation that they can internalize and apply to their own life? Perhaps that they don’t hear anywhere else because of your unique perspective. Well, I think one of the greatest gifts of something like astrology is philosophical, right? This idea that there’s a larger unfolding that’s not all on you and up to you.

Your life isn’t all because of you and it isn’t all your fault. So you can’t take all the credit and you can’t take all the blame. You’re working within a larger system and just like the weather isn’t up to you, just like the time we live in and what’s happening in technology or politically or with your friends, that’s not all up to you or your fault, right? And so this idea that we can have more faith and more peace and more joy and truthfully be more spiritual about it because dating and seeking love requires tremendous vulnerability and faith.

Having this sense that what will be will be and what’s meant to me for me will come and what’s mine will be obvious and what isn’t mine isn’t mine. So if you meet somebody that you really love, but it doesn’t work, it doesn’t work. And maybe that love was to show you a side of yourself you didn’t know you had or to show you what’s possible in terms of how you could feel or how someone could feel about you, but it wasn’t about ending up with them.

So a huge takeaway I want everyone to have is to just trust more and relax more and enjoy the journey more and also to really believe in love more you know, part of what I love about your work is you really help people believe in love and believe in themselves and trust themselves. And I want everybody to do that too. And that’s where our work very much aligns as well.

And I always joke with you, you always say, oh, I’m not a weird guy and I’m not, you know, into all this esoteric stuff, but you’re absolutely doing God’s work. And you’ve absolutely been such a spiritual gift to the women you’ve worked with and the people who are listening right now. So those are the big takeaways, I would say.

It’s really kind of you, Carol. And listen, over the decades of doing this, ironically, I’ve become softer, less arrogant, more open to things that I don’t know and understand, certainly less judgmental of things that I don’t know and understand. And so when someone says you’re doing God’s work, I receive that.

When my wife’s mother prays for me, I receive that. It almost doesn’t, it doesn’t matter what I believe. Because I don’t think we need to share a belief system per se to be able to say the same way religions do.

We’re all pointing in the same direction. We all want to have a transcendent love. There are more effective ways to go about it than other ways.

And what’s within your control that you can do to make different choices. And I think you’ve been doing an amazing job for so many years. I think of the thousands of people that you’ve given private readings to.

I know, it’s crazy. Where you’re not doing this sort of paced by numbers coaching session that a lot of people do. Everything you do is customized to that individual based on her unique information.

Yeah, and I often will put people off. They’ll say, oh, I want to hire you to help me find love. And I’ll look at their chart and I’ll go, great.

Call me next year. And they’re like, what? But I’m ready now. And I’m like, well, you might be ready now, but it’s not going to happen now.

And so if we do it now, you’re going to get burnt out. You’re going to get discouraged. You’re going to feel less motivated.

And then you won’t want to next year. I had a client I told that to last year. She called me back this year.

We got her up and running in February and they’ve been so happy, going great guns. And she’s 72 and she keeps calling me going, I can’t find any red flags. I can’t find any red flags.

It’s so cute. And that’s what it’s like when the stars are smiling. I love that.

Ladies and gentlemen, this is Carol Allen. You can find her at her website, soulmatestars.com. And if you want to get a private reading from Carol with all of her wisdom and experience, click on the link in the show notes to go directly to apply or book a time with her. She’s wonderful, she’s affordable and you will not regret it.

You’ll have a one of a kind unique experience with her that I promise. My name is Evan Mark Katz. This is the Love You Podcast.

I thank you so much for joining me. If you are not already on my mailing list, go to evanmarkatz.com/quiz to learn why you waste time with the wrong men. If you are not on my Extraordinary Love Series mailing list, go to extraordinaryloveseries.com. Every month I do a lecture and a live Q&A on a different topic.

So I’ll be able to answer your questions, high value women seeking high value men on a customized topic every single month. And if you are serious about finding love and want someone to hold your hand through this process until you figure it out, go to evanmarkatz.com forward slash now, book a time to talk with me and I’ll ask you a whole bunch of questions about you and figure out the best way to work together. Thank you so much for your time and attention.

I love you, I appreciate you and I will talk to you soon.

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