Episode #53: I Think I Want Out; The 5 Stages of Marital Breakdown

The Matadoras No More Bull Podcast: Two Women, One Narcissist – Harrowing Stories of Escape, Survival, and Healing"

In this conversation, Dr. Becky Whetstone, LMFT discusses the complexities of marriage, particularly focusing on the challenges faced when one partner wants to end the marriage. Becky shares insights from her book, "I Think I Want Out, The 5 Stages of Marital Breakdown" which addresses the five stages of marital deterioration and the lack of resources available for couples in crisis. The discussion also delves into the dynamics of narcissistic relationships, the impact on children, and the importance of supporting victims of such relationships.

Throughout the conversation, Becky emphasizes the need for awareness and proactive measures in addressing marital issues before they escalate, while sharing her experiences dealing with narcissistic family members and ex-spouses. She also emphasizes the importance of legal preparedness, particularly having wills in place. The discussion highlights strategies for outsmarting narcissists, the emotional toll of such relationships, and the journey towards resilience and recovery. The speakers aim is to empower listeners with knowledge and insights to navigate their own challenges with narcissism.
Dr. Whetstone has been featured on CNN, The Wall Street Journal, Huffington Post and more.

You can find her book here: I (Think) I Want Out: What to Do When One of You Wants to End Your Marriage

Takeaways

There is a significant void in self-help resources for couples facing marriage crisis.

• Understanding the five stages of marital deterioration can help couples address issues early.
• Narcissistic partners often resist therapy and blame their spouses for problems.
• Victims of narcissistic relationships need validation and support to heal.
• Children are affected by parental conflicts and need one healthy parent.
• It's crucial to communicate the truth to children in an age-appropriate manner.
• Narcissists often manipulate perceptions and create division among family members.
• Therapists can help victims recognize that the issues are not their fault.
• The emotional toll of divorce can be profound and long-lasting.
• Healing from a toxic relationship requires time and self-compassion. If your ex is a narcissist, get your kids to have a will.
• Narcissists can create nightmarish family dynamics, especially after death.
• Ironclad wills are essential when dealing with narcissistic family members.
• Don't let a family member be the executor of a will if they're narcissistic.
• Legal advice can help you outsmart narcissists in court.
• Resilience is crucial for mental and emotional health after toxic relationships.
• Trust your intuition; it's often right about relationships.
• Narcissists thrive on retribution and manipulation.
• Seek therapy to help recover from narcissistic abuse.
• Empower yourself with knowledge to prevent falling into traps.

Chapters

00:00
Introduction to Marital Challenges

03:01
The Five Stages of

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