Spotting the Subtle Signs of Mental Health Struggles

The Odyssey: Parenting. Caregiving. Disability.

Most of us are well aware of America's mental health crisis, but lack to tools to support each others and help ourselves.

As mental health specialist and CDC Children's Mental Health Champion Patrice Beard shares, learning to spot the pink flags - those early warning signs that show up before the big red flags - can make a big difference!

he Odyssey: Parenting. Caregiving. Disability.

The Center for Family Involvement at VCU School of Education's Partnership for People with Disabilities provides informational and emotional support to people with disabilities and their families. All of our services are free. We just want to help. We know how hard this can be because we're in it with you.

SHOW NOTES:

988 LIFELINE: 24/7 Support for suicide and crisis prevention. Using the 988 Lifeline is free. When you call, text, or chat the 988 lifeline, your conversation is confidential. The 988 Lifeline provides judgement-free care. Talking with someone can help save your life.

Mental illness warning signs and symptoms.

Understanding what depression looks like in teens.

National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI)

NAMI Virginia

More about Kevin Hines, who attmepted to kill himself by jumping off the Golden Gate Bridge and is now a powerful advocate for suicde prevention.

Centers for Disease Control statistics on children's mental health

REALISTIC Self Care Strategies for Caregivers

How dangerous are phones and screens for teens?

TRANSCRIPT:

01:00:06:18 - 01:00:35:11

Erin Croyle

Welcome to the Odyssey. Parenting. Caregiving. Disability. I'm Erin Croyle, the creator and host of the Odyssey podcast explores how our lives change when someone we love has a disability. It's something I became intimately familiar with when my first child was born with Down syndrome in 2010. Now I work with the center for Family Involvement Advocates partnership for people with disabilities.

01:00:35:13 - 01:01:05:09

Erin Croyle

This podcast explores the triumphs and hardships that we face. We celebrate the joys that the odyssey of parenting, caregiving, and disability bring. But there's no sugarcoating of the tough stuff. Sure, we can do hard things. There's a whole podcast dedicated to the idea, but this caregiving life that we're living, it is next level. It's all consuming in a way that no one can understand unless they're living it too.

01:01:05:11 - 01:01:39:07

Erin Croyle

We're so busy doing the hard things, thinking this is just how it is, that we don't even realize how tapped out and burnt out we are. This is why I had to have the CFI’s mental health specialist and one of the CDC's children's mental health champions, Patrice Beard, on the show to talk about how we can better support everyone from those close to us, to acquaintances, to strangers, to ourselves.

01:01:39:09 - 01:01:56:03

Erin Croyle

Patrice, part of what makes what we do at the center for Family Involvement so unique is that all of us have lived experience that informs our work. Can you tell us how you got started down this path to mental health awareness and education?

01:01:56:05 - 01:02:17:02

Patrice Beard

Sure. I started off. I had been off work for a few years. I had originally worked for a medical home, plus, and I got familiar with Danny Yarbrough, our Dana, and, I was looking for a job, and she said, hey, the Partnership's got some admin opportunity part time. Do you want to come work for us? I was like, sure.

01:02:17:02 - 01:02:43:05

Patrice Beard

So I started working for Admin Center for Family Involvement and got familiar with the center for Family Involvement. What they do, and then reaching out and helping families and that whole lived experience. I realized that there was nobody on the team. What that mental health look experience that I had. And so then we talked and I said, you know, I can help families with this.

01:02:43:05 - 01:03:11:08

Patrice Beard

And she said, okay, well, you'll have to go through the navigator program. So I started talking to families and helping families through that. And then at the partnership, I was struggling. One day I came into work and I was having my daughter, who has some mental health conditions. I was just struggling with her in school and somebody said, hey, have you heard of NAMI, which is the National Alliance on Mental Illness?

01:03:11:10 - 01:03:37:15

Patrice Beard

And I realized I had all these amazing programs for families. So I started taking these programs. So I took like family, a family, I took children's challenging behavior. And this was so amazing. And I was sitting in a room with other families who knew my exact experience and who I could talk with, and I could learn. It was an amazing to me that there were all these people that had the same kind of experiences that I had.

01:03:37:17 - 01:03:59:03

Patrice Beard

It was just awesome. So I just started soaking it up and taking all these classes. I'm like, okay, I like classes so much now I'm going to learn how to teach them. I would take the training, the trainer classes, and through all of these processes, I was able to get better and better at understanding how to handle and how to handle the situation with mental illness and my daughter and then my family.

01:03:59:05 - 01:04:27:03

Patrice Beard

And then I was using those resources to help other family members that would call in to the set up for family involvement. From there, it just kind of snowballed. Anything I could get Ahold of and learn and take and get a certification in is what I would do. With that, Dana saw that, she just allowed me to grow, and then it just kind of developed, and then she kind of said, hey, I think we need a mental health specialist on staff, and here you are.

01:04:27:04 - 01:04:49:16

Patrice Beard

So I was able to join the center for Family Involvement team as a mental health specialist. So that's what I do now. And I'm still always taking webinars, and I'm always trying to learn more things so I can help families ultimately, as always, to help families. And now I'm on boards like the Department of Behavioral Health Mental Health Advisory Board.

01:04:49:18 - 01:05:01:01

Patrice Beard

I'm asked to do presentations. And so it's amazing. So it's really totally just from all of the experience and having the opportunity at the partnership to evolve.

01:05:01:03 - 01:05:34:19

Erin Croyle

Amazing. I'm going to mute real quick and close my door. My mom is visiting, so it's normally really quiet in my house. And she's puttering around in the background. And it's a really beautiful thing I don't get to experience and I love it, but I had to close my door. I want to explain for our listeners, you know, we talk about family navigators, and that's part of what makes the center for Family Involvement so unique, so we have staff who specialize in many things, but we also have volunteer family navigators who are trained.

01:05:34:21 - 01:06:01:06

Erin Croyle

And the beauty of family navigators is that they also bring in lived experience, and we're able to connect people who reach out to us. So I'll put that information in the show notes for y'all so people can reach out to us and we find other families with lived experience similar to yours to connect to. And it's such a beautiful thing that even us as colleagues will reach out to one another.

01:06:01:07 - 01:06:21:16

Erin Croyle

Just yesterday, I was struggling with something and I reached out to Nikki Brandon Berger, who is my supervisor, and I said, hey, you know, if you know anyone going through this, like, I'm really struggling, can you help me? And it's a very unique thing because when you mix disability and mental health and caregiving and aging parents and.

01:06:21:18 - 01:06:24:16

Patrice Beard

All of it.

01:06:24:18 - 01:06:48:19

Erin Croyle

It's a lot. And there's not a lot of help for people out there. And I know, like a lot of professionals that we see in the field, they don't have that lived experience. And that's what's so beautiful to me about the work that we do. In fact, you know, Patrice, I'm always looking for reasons to talk to you because I adore you and you just cut through the B.S. and you always tell it like it is.

01:06:48:21 - 01:07:13:06

Erin Croyle

And I wanted to talk to you today because there was a moment a few months back when we were all in a staff meeting together, and there was an icebreaker question asking folks to mention their proudest accomplishments of the years. And, you know, all of us have tough times. I'm telling my kids this all the time to look out for the people around you because we put on brave faces, but we don't know what's going on behind the facade.

01:07:13:08 - 01:07:30:08

Erin Croyle

And I tried to casually say something in that meeting like, I made it, or I'm still here, and you call me right after that meeting to ask how I was doing. And we hadn't talked for a while. It's not like we call each other every day or every month. It's like a couple times a year that we really talk.

01:07:30:09 - 01:07:52:13

Erin Croyle

And so that phone call meant so much to me. And you said that my answer to that question raised a pink flag for you. And that was just such an intriguing concept that I've been wanting to talk to you about it on the podcast. So here we are, and I want to know, what exactly is a pink flag?

01:07:52:15 - 01:08:21:19

Patrice Beard

To me, a pink flag is when you know something's off, something's different. There's a concern. It's easy for me to have a pink fly with you because I know you and I know I'm in meetings with you. I know your personality. Sometimes having a pink flag is just being really intuitive and just watching. Just observe things. So when you commented the way you commented, that's not typically how you comment.

01:08:21:21 - 01:08:44:07

Patrice Beard

That's not a standard answer for Erin. I'm here is not a standard answer for Erin. I could actually hear a break in your voice when you said it, but I don't know if anybody else noticed that. And so I was like, oh, something's up. Something's up with Erin. And that's how easy a pink flag can be. And it's taking that step after.

01:08:44:09 - 01:09:07:13

Patrice Beard

And reaching out, whether it's a phone call, whether it's a text and just saying, are you okay? Sometimes that's all anybody needs to hear. Are you okay? Something's up. But you want to talk to me or not? I'm here. Are you okay? That means a lot to people. I was with my friend at the store. I forgot where we were.

01:09:07:15 - 01:09:28:12

Patrice Beard

The cashier was. She was just very abrupt and she was just very cold and rude, but she was just very blunt. I try to make small talk with her and she just wasn't having it. And I guess some people could think, well, she's just, you know, having a bad day or is she just being a jerk or, you know, whatever you want to say.

01:09:28:12 - 01:09:54:10

Patrice Beard

But, you know, when people react a certain kind of way to you and you don't even know who they are, it's probably not about you. It's just probably there's something going on. So don't take it personal. But I stopped and I looked at her and I said, are you okay today? How's your day so far? And immediately she like, almost like it was a jarring her whole personality change.

01:09:54:10 - 01:10:10:22

Patrice Beard

Like she wasn't even aware the energy she was giving off. I think she was in her brain with what? Whatever was happening, you know, whatever she was going through at that time. But as soon as I said that to her, she just kind of smiled and she kind of came out of it and she goes, thank you. Okay.

01:10:10:24 - 01:10:30:04

Patrice Beard

And then when I left, my friend was like, wow, that's impressive. Like she just kind of snapped out of it and she just that really quick. Whereas you see things on TikTok and you see things like videos where people kind of go at it. I just kind of, you, when somebody is kind of has a high energy, I just kind of kind of come in with a low energy.

01:10:30:06 - 01:10:58:01

Patrice Beard

That's how I look at it mainly. But for you, Erin, I just know you. And just at work, when I know people at work and they look different and they look not that they're sad or but they're more serious if they don't respond in a way they normally respond. Those are pink flags for me. If they're not talking at all and they usually do that, they're sitting off to themselves and being quiet.

01:10:58:03 - 01:11:14:17

Patrice Beard

That's a pink flag to me. So if I had to describe a pink flag, I would say if you know somebody and they're acting any kind of differently. Ask them. Ask them how they're doing. Ask them what they're going through and just go from there.

01:11:14:19 - 01:11:35:07

Erin Croyle

I love that and I wonder you know thinking of those situations and thinking how different people are. I think you already said this, but I kind of want to dig a little deeper. You want to ask them how they are, but you want to. I mean, I imagine you want to give them space to not have to respond, right?

01:11:35:07 - 01:11:53:23

Erin Croyle

So because they might like I know I cry so easily that sometimes I need to hide because I, I just don't want to have to break down in public all the time. So how do you how would you suggest the most gentle ways to do that, to allow someone the space they might need?

01:11:54:00 - 01:12:19:02

Patrice Beard

Oh that's easy. I mean, it's not that hard, is what I want to say. When I help families, who are dealing with mental health conditions in their household, what I'll say is, did you ask, have you asked? And a lot of times they're like, well, no. And it's so it's so obvious. So. Let's take this back.

01:12:19:02 - 01:12:38:15

Patrice Beard

Let's just say I called you asking, and I said, Erin, how are you doing? Or you okay, are you okay? And you're like, I'm fine not to talk about it. I'm good. Okay, then call then. Just. All right. That sounds well. Okay. I just was checking in and just know that I'm here, and then that's all it takes.

01:12:38:15 - 01:13:04:05

Patrice Beard

That's all it takes. I recognize you, I see you, and I'm here for you. You want to call me, text me. Whatever. I'm here. I have some friends. Joan Bruner, she's one of our regional network coordinators at the center for Family Involvement. I know she is a very proud private person, and she is someone that when you reach out and say, hey, are you okay?

01:13:04:05 - 01:13:28:19

Patrice Beard

I'm fine if I like. She just wants to stay busy and she's fine. And that is her personal. And I have to respect that. So we have a code. So when she is feeling, you know, really overwhelmed and she doesn't want to ask for help, but she needs help. The code word is butterfly. So I just told her, I know you don't like to ask for help.

01:13:28:19 - 01:13:52:01

Patrice Beard

I know you're very private person, so if you need me to literally get in the car and come to you wherever you are, but you don't want to talk about it, then you text me butterfly and I will. I will be in the car and I will be to you. So that's an extreme version of it. But you can come up with those kind of things too, if you need to talk.

01:13:52:01 - 01:13:58:24

Patrice Beard

If you need me to just listen, then here's our code word. If you know somebody.

01:13:59:01 - 01:14:22:03

Erin Croyle

I love that. So I like to code word situations that pop in my head are, one, I'm literally on the third round of watching Ted Lasso, once by myself, once with my kiddo, and now with my mom who's in town, because it's just such a beautiful show that touches on mental health and their code word for just speaking the truth is Oklahoma.

01:14:22:04 - 01:14:40:23

Erin Croyle

Just cut through the crap and give me the truth. And then another code word in my house for me and my children. When you reach that level of like when you have kids, and sometimes it's like you have to say, come on, let's go, let's go. When you feel it boiling over, instead of letting it boil over, we say Vegemite.

01:14:41:00 - 01:14:58:09

Erin Croyle

And that's like, I mean, business. But they're allowed to say Vegemite to me, to say, mom, you got to get off my back. I heard you, you know, you're making me boil over and it's those safe words. I think code words are a tool that folks don't use enough. And I think it's a really powerful tool.

01:14:58:14 - 01:15:09:04

Patrice Beard

Absolutely. For us is awesome. I love Ted Lasso. I really like Schitt's Creek. A lot of that has some mental health pieces in it. I just love it. It's just mixture, warm and solid. I really like it.

01:15:09:06 - 01:15:30:04

Erin Croyle

Yeah, and Shrinking is another one. I don't know, folks. It's I mean, it's we might as well just let Apple TV sponsor a podcast for us because they got some great material there that I think when times are tough, you know, leaning on shows that make you feel good is a really great escape, which is a total tangent.

01:15:30:04 - 01:15:36:17

Erin Croyle

But since we're saying and I mean, what are some other really great escapes for tough times that you might recommend for somebody?

01:15:36:23 - 01:16:00:11

Patrice Beard

It's hard for me to recommend anything to anybody because everybody's different. Everybody's self-care is different. Everybody relaxes differently Decompresses differently. Sometimes my decompression is I'll just get on my iPad at the end of the day, if I've had a hard day and I just play silly games just like match three games or, you know, something like Candy crush or two.

01:16:00:17 - 01:16:24:07

Patrice Beard

My kids used to make fun of me, but I'm like, I just need just to numb my brain out and not have a focus. I don't want to talk. I don't want to do anything. Just let me sit here and do this. I know some people. It's going for a walk. I know some people. It's weird. People it's for cleaning, right click cleaning or extra stuff, which is totally not my vibe at all.

01:16:24:09 - 01:16:49:00

Patrice Beard

Whatever brings you joy, whatever decompresses you, whatever is your thing, do it. My brain really likes the water and the ocean, so after a while, a couple months goes by. I'm like, all right, I need to take a trip to get to the ocean. I need to get somewhere where I hear that that is my meditation. Nowhere else for some reason.

01:16:49:00 - 01:17:10:17

Patrice Beard

Even the app on the phone. No, nothing else does for me what the beach does for me. That I can sit and close my eyes and just listen and just. It just takes me, just takes me and I love it. So that's the water is is my place. Some people probably like you like to exercise and run and do all these crazy things.

01:17:10:19 - 01:17:32:05

Patrice Beard

So yeah, it's hard for me to recommend anything like that. I would recommend whatever you are doing to be mindful in that act, and try to just focus on it. Being mindful is really easy to do. That was a big hot word there a couple of years ago when everybody was making, you know, like talking, have seminars on it.

01:17:32:09 - 01:17:54:18

Patrice Beard

It's very easy. It's just focusing on what you're doing. That's it. Try to get all the extra outside noise. That's why the beach helps me. I just focus on the noise. So if you're running, if you're going for a walk, then you're focusing on nature. You're focusing on what you're seeing, what you're hearing, what you're smelling. Just focus on that and try to get all the extra noise out.

01:17:54:20 - 01:17:57:18

Patrice Beard

That's the noise, noise, noise, right?

01:17:57:20 - 01:18:23:18

Erin Croyle

It's funny you say that because as someone who has been diagnosed with ADHD later in life, I struggled so much with trying to meditate and trying to do all the things that people recommend that they say are good for you. And what I have found is my meditation is you got me nailed, it is running and it's running, blasting whatever music makes me feel better.

01:18:23:18 - 01:18:47:11

Erin Croyle

And a lot of times, man, it was Kendrick Lamar's Super Bowl halftime show blasting that with my kids in the car or on a run, or when the world just makes me angry, blasting some rage Against the machine. I come back and I am calm. And so I love that you said it's you can't say what works, it's what works for you.

01:18:47:12 - 01:19:16:05

Erin Croyle

And and it depends on the mood. Because some days it's going for a hike in the woods without any noise. It just depends on on the day. And you know, our show is for caregivers. And so this is helping identify for our children. Like, for example, my son, my oldest has multiple disabilities, Down syndrome. It's hard for him to communicate his needs, but his happy place is by the water throwing rocks in the water.

01:19:16:05 - 01:19:35:17

Erin Croyle

And so we try to get out whenever we can. Going by a waterfall, I think. Water. I talked to another one of our colleagues, Jill Rose. Let's just namedrop all of our people, right? She talks about how she's a very spiritual person and how water is just something that can really soothe us as humans and soothe our aura, if you will.

01:19:35:17 - 01:20:11:09

Patrice Beard

So anything that you can use your senses, your other senses for is amazing. I always feel like sometimes the hardest place to be is in my own head. And I have to do things that force me to get out of my own headspace. It's kind of easier for me to sit in my headspace. I have to make an effort to get my shoes on and get dressed and go outside and go for that walk, or go get in the car and drive two hours to the water.

01:20:11:11 - 01:20:50:03

Patrice Beard

It's much easier just to sit at home. But I have to make myself a priority because if I don't and so much time goes forward, I just sink lower and lower and lower. And I always tell people practice what you preach, but I'm the worst person. You have to take the time to fill your well. If you don't fill your well, for me, filling my well is, maybe watching Schitt's Creek or maybe going to the pool in the summertime, getting that sun, going to the beach.

01:20:50:03 - 01:21:09:06

Patrice Beard

That's how I fill my well. And if I don't take the time to do that, then I just don't feel like I'm a good person. So much time goes forward and I'm like, handing out dirt, you know? I'm just like trying to help people with the bottom of my well, and that's why it's so important that I take the time to do what I do.

01:21:09:08 - 01:21:35:03

Patrice Beard

It's a tricky thing. The brain is a tricky thing. You can as many bad things as we say to ourselves internally. For me, I know like I can be that person. It affects your brain, right? So if my in dialog is constantly negative, then I'm going to just feel that. Why can't my inner dialog be positive? Why can't I feel myself positive?

01:21:35:03 - 01:22:06:01

Patrice Beard

But for some reason we we tend to do the negative. I don't know if it's easier for us. It's harder for us to look in the mirror and find something that we like because of the way we're feeling, but we really need to do better with that. I think I know when my daughter, when she was young and she used to look at herself in the mirror and she'd say, I hate this, I hate that, I hate this, and I'm like, okay, so now look in the mirror again and I want to hear you say like five positive things about what you like about yourself.

01:22:06:03 - 01:22:31:12

Patrice Beard

I was listening to a podcast one time about how to retrain your brain to be positive, how you can literally do things, say things to yourself to bring your mood up right, and to get out of that crud. And it's weird. So one of the things was like, brush your teeth with the opposite hand. That kind of stimulates your brain because your brain rewires, restarts, regenerates your brain, right?

01:22:31:17 - 01:22:58:24

Patrice Beard

Something with your opposite hand. It's awkward, right, to do things with your opposite hand. That's really good for your brain. Yeah. Another thing he said to do was, look, this was the hardest thing for me. Look in the mirror. Look at yourself. Stare at yourself in the mirror and tell yourself out loud that you love yourself. Just say I love you to yourself in the mirror at least five times.

01:22:59:01 - 01:23:23:09

Patrice Beard

And I did it. I don't keep doing it because it's awkward, but like the third or fourth time I said it, I got chills and I started crying. Because I realized, I don't think I've ever said that to myself before, so I would recommend everybody do that. I just think all the negative things we said, our self and our inner dialog so negative.

01:23:23:09 - 01:23:39:21

Patrice Beard

I would challenge you every time you catch yourself doing that to say something positive, to counteract the negative and just see what it does. But I recommend, Erin, that you today, at some point out loud, look at yourself in the mirror and tell yourself that you love you.

01:23:39:23 - 01:24:03:10

Erin Croyle

I love that idea. I can see how challenging that would be. And I think as parents you recognize how important that is. But you don't do it for yourself because you see how hard your children are on themselves. We're so busy modeling what we I think what we should be modeling for our kids, but we're not truly believing it.

01:24:03:12 - 01:24:17:20

Erin Croyle

So the idea that you would take time to actually practice what you're preaching and truly mean it, I will try that. The self-hate. I don't know where we learned that from, but man, we are our hardest critics, aren't we?

01:24:17:22 - 01:24:38:13

Patrice Beard

Oh yeah. Absolutely. Talking about pink flags. I would agree, Erin, with what you just said because I think. Spotting a pink flag and others is probably a lot easier than spotting a pink flag in myself, even though.

01:24:38:15 - 01:25:07:10

Patrice Beard

It's pretty apparent. So I don't know why. Why are we so likely to observe things and others that we're not willing to observe in ourselves? It's a good question, because I think I'm exhibiting some pink flags here lately. I'm stressed. I'm having a hard time focusing, not exercising like I should. Staying in the house too much.

01:25:07:10 - 01:25:23:04

Patrice Beard

I get little reclusive, but I recognize that in myself. I feel like there are times I'm exhibiting pink flags all over the place, so I don't know enough, and I'm not attending to them like I would others. So I guess that's something we should all work on.

01:25:23:06 - 01:25:47:12

Erin Croyle

Yeah, and I think especially as women, because as women we are conditioned from day one to be nurturers, to care for others. I and I think it gets tiresome to hear about the mental load we carry, but it needs to not be because we do carry more typically speaking, than a lot of our counterparts. And it's a lot.

01:25:47:12 - 01:25:58:09

Erin Croyle

And I don't think we give ourselves enough credit for how much we take on that is just assumed that we can handle it.

01:25:58:11 - 01:26:34:10

Patrice Beard

I would say the reason why pink flags are so important in recognizing that is because in the mental health world, we tend to be reactive and not proactive. So if we focused on the proactive, the proactive would be recognizing the pink flags and addressing the pink flags. Is this person securing themselves? Is this person is our hygiene going to, you know, and that you clearly see that they're not taking care of themselves anymore?

01:26:34:12 - 01:26:56:13

Patrice Beard

Are they withdrawing? Those are like pink flags that in the mental health world they're warning signs, right? Are they crying all the time or have you not heard from them for a couple weeks? And have you ever had that experience where, like, I've not heard from so-and-so for like a while now? Well, I think that's a pink flag.

01:26:56:13 - 01:27:19:04

Patrice Beard

I think that is your pink flag. That is your it's time to text. It's time to make a phone call and just reach out if you haven't answered your phone. Erin Other just texted you. That's all it would have been. Hey, I'm here. Just wanted to check in everything okay? Instead of reacting. Like I said, in the mental health world we are very reactive as opposed to proactive.

01:27:19:06 - 01:27:48:12

Patrice Beard

And so when we hear things in the media or we hear things extreme, my question is what were the pink flags? Because I know there were some, you know, and usually when the story comes out and more information comes out and you start hearing experiences that the public have had with an individual or anything like that, there were pink flowers along the way.

01:27:48:14 - 01:28:15:10

Erin Croyle

What would you say the difference is between a pink flag and a red flag? When we're talking about mental health, especially considering my understanding of how, suicidal ideation, a lot of times people don't see it coming. So, you know, when you're saying hygiene and staying in more, what's red? What's pink? And it sounds like it's a big old lots of different shades that we're dealing with on a spectrum here.

01:28:15:12 - 01:28:41:12

Patrice Beard

Yeah. You're right, pink flags are different for everybody. The pink flag for me was you, Erin was that you responded all right. You didn't respond like you would normally. And I knew enough to know that. And I could hear the break in your voice. So that was a pink flag. If I'm living with somebody, their mood changes for a long period of time.

01:28:41:14 - 01:29:01:05

Patrice Beard

If they don't want to go out and do anything and that normally they would, if they're not sleeping, if they're pacing well, you know, normally at night instead of sleeping, they're not they're tossing and turning. They're up. They're not getting their rest of their sleeping habits change. Things like that can be pink flags leading to a bigger issue not eating right.

01:29:01:07 - 01:29:23:03

Patrice Beard

And what's important to know is there are circumstances in our lives that we all go through things right? Like if there's a death in the family, a job loss, we all go through things. I'm talking about things that change us for over two weeks. It is ongoing and we are just not getting better. Those are the things I'm referring to.

01:29:23:05 - 01:29:49:06

Patrice Beard

Angry a lot of times. I'll tell you a lot of times for women, we cry sometimes, right? That's our pink flag. We're sad. We're depressed. We miss the pink flags with boys because they tend to be angry. They tend to all of a sudden, if you have a boy that's wanting to fight, they're starting to get into a lot of fights in school or being argumentative or just angry.

01:29:49:08 - 01:30:09:05

Patrice Beard

And they don't know why they're angry. They're just angry. That's a form of depression. And it's just so different. A lot of times in boys and men. So things like that, like if you notice somebodies personality changing and things like that, those can be pink flags.

01:30:09:07 - 01:30:34:13

Erin Croyle

And when you see those, I mean, it's thankfully the stigma around talking about mental health is lessened, but it's still there. You know, it still gets an eye roll or the brush off. So how can we talk about mental health in a productive and proactive way? How can we get that loved one or close friend? It's not as easy as saying, oh, that's a mole.

01:30:34:13 - 01:30:41:13

Erin Croyle

You need checks, right? How can you get someone the help they need? Whether it's a pink flag or a red flag?

01:30:41:15 - 01:31:12:15

Patrice Beard

I really think that's the million dollar question. I still think we have a long way to go with that. I think just letting somebody know that we're here for them, whether it's using a code word or, sometimes we want to fix things, and sometimes we just need to remember that if you just let somebody know, if you just want to talk, and I'll just be here to listen, sometimes you just want to talk and just have somebody listen to you.

01:31:12:17 - 01:31:32:07

Patrice Beard

You know, when we're going through stress and I've got something in my head going over and over and over and over. Never. Right? Works both ways. I have to say to my spouse or to my friend, I'm going through something right now and I really want to talk about it. I really need to vent. I you open to hearing me right now.

01:31:32:07 - 01:32:17:08

Patrice Beard

Are you in a good headspace to hear me right now? Can I vent with you? You don't have to say anything, but do you have the head for right now? And she's either yes or no. And then if it's yes, then I've been just trying to be there for one another and just being and just listening. You would be surprised how just giving somebody an ear and just sitting and listening, and also being a mental health specialist, I have to say, if ever you feel like after somebody is talking to you, if ever there's a question, if ever anybody says anything about hurting themselves or not wanting to be around or wondering if life would

01:32:17:08 - 01:32:46:02

Patrice Beard

be better without them around or wanting to end their suffering or things like that. Always ask the question like, I hear you saying these things. Do you feel like, are you thinking about killing yourself or hurting yourself? Don't say committing suicide or don't make it fancy. Don't say don't use. Just be very blunt. I'm a little worried about what I'm hearing.

01:32:46:02 - 01:33:05:22

Patrice Beard

Are you thinking about killing yourself or hurting yourself? Ask the question. Never be afraid to ask the question and I always say that to the parents I speak with when I'm here, and certain things about what's what they're saying their child is going through and these things that their child is saying. And I'll say, have you asked them if they thought about killing themselves?

01:33:05:24 - 01:33:27:04

Patrice Beard

Well, no, I don't want that to happen. Or they'll start whispering to me. I'm like, well, why are you whispering? Like, you know, you don't want to be that parent. That's surprised, right? If you feel it, if your spidey senses are going off, or if you're seeing little pink flags and or hearing things that just ask, you must ask.

01:33:27:06 - 01:33:53:10

Erin Croyle

That was the most interesting thing. I interviewed someone, many years ago at this point, who works with suicide prevention in Veterans Affairs, and I was surprised that, you know, you you don't try to shy away from that question. You're better off making it an open topic of discussion. That is the healthiest way to handle it is to bring it out into the open.

01:33:53:10 - 01:34:15:03

Erin Croyle

Is there? I still don't I mean, I guess I understand why these are such difficult things to even speak of, because it's just so heartbreaking to to think that someone might think that that's the answer to ending the pain. Can you share anything about the research behind why it's so important to talk about it?

01:34:15:05 - 01:34:35:13

Patrice Beard

There is no increase of somebody, somebody trying to kill themselves just because they've talked about it. It's not something that you ask them and they're like, oh, I wasn't thinking about it. But now that you said it, I mean, it's just it's just not. They've done studies on people who have tried to kill themselves, and they've asked them, would it have helped if somebody had asked?

01:34:35:13 - 01:34:50:14

Patrice Beard

And the answer is yes. It doesn't harm you when somebody asks if you want to. And the answer was no, that's not it. I'm thinking about it or I'm not. Somebody is not putting that thought in my head. Are you familiar with a Kevin Hines?

01:34:50:16 - 01:34:52:00

Erin Croyle

No.

01:34:52:02 - 01:35:23:01

Patrice Beard

Okay. So he travels the world and talks about his suicide attempt. He jumped off the Golden Gate Bridge and survived. It's an amazing story. You may want to research it. He's got a short documentary ending now. Travels the world. He woke up in the morning knowing that he was going to go to the Golden Gate Bridge and jump off and kill himself, and he talks about how he runs into his father knew something was off, which was interesting to me.

01:35:23:01 - 01:35:43:00

Patrice Beard

His father knew something was off. So his father saw a pink flag and didn't address it. His father said, hey, why don't you come to work with me today? Because he knew something wasn't quite right. And he goes, no, I'm good. I'm not going to go to work with you. But he didn't say, are you okay? What's going on?

01:35:43:02 - 01:36:03:22

Patrice Beard

Where are you? Go. You know anything like that? He said on his travels to the Golden Gate Bridge that day. At any given time. And somebody stopped him and asked him if he was okay and if he was going to kill himself, he would have told them yes, he was full on ready. I mean, he was ready. He was going.

01:36:03:24 - 01:36:31:09

Patrice Beard

It's a very interesting story. He did jump and he said immediately when he jumped, he was like, oh, I don't want to do this. So now his mission is not only going around and sharing his story, he also has interviewed and talked with a lot of, suicide survivors. And they have all said immediately after they're like, no, this is not what I want to do.

01:36:31:11 - 01:36:34:24

Patrice Beard

So I think you're just feeling desperate in a situation.

01:36:35:01 - 01:36:43:05

Erin Croyle

I imagine, to be in that place, to know that someone cares enough might make you feel as.

01:36:43:07 - 01:37:12:10

Erin Croyle

It's worth living. It's such a tough subject. It's funny. I'm worried about saying the wrong thing in this interview and part of me is thinking I should edit this out, but not this all out. But my stuttering and rambling. But I think it just goes to show what a delicate subject it is and how I think talking about it and learning, and to talk about it openly without feeling as if it's taboo is important, especially with the rates on the rise.

01:37:12:10 - 01:37:16:21

Erin Croyle

So much just knowing that we can and should talk about it.

01:37:16:23 - 01:37:36:23

Patrice Beard

It's on a slight decline finally, but especially for children. So suicide is the second leading cause of death for teens and young adults ages ten through 34. And that's a study done from the CDC in 2023.

01:37:37:00 - 01:38:03:12

Erin Croyle

That's shocking and honestly heartbreaking. Patrice, if you're a parent who maybe your young child's mentioned it or you have suspicions aside from talking about it, I mean, is there things that you should do at home to look out for them, like hiding knives and razors? I mean, how should you handle that if you're worried about a young child, right?

01:38:03:14 - 01:38:06:11

Erin Croyle

Who might be having thoughts of suicide?

01:38:06:13 - 01:38:37:17

Patrice Beard

Right. It's it's really scary. The first thing is, if you think of your child, if you ask your child, do you want to kill yourself or your child says, I want to kill myself, I'm going to kill myself. Then I would say, well, what is your plan like? So sometimes, you know, we know our child, right? Sometimes a child will be very dramatic, will say, oh, I want to kill myself all blah, blah, blah, you know, and and that's an opportunity to have a very stern, serious conversation with your child.

01:38:37:17 - 01:38:56:21

Patrice Beard

Do you mean this because you have my full attention right now? Are you truly feeling this way? Because if so, I've got you. I will take care of you. We will get some help. I want you to not have to feel like this. So pay attention to it. They need to know that if they say this to you, you will take it very seriously.

01:38:56:21 - 01:39:15:06

Patrice Beard

That is not something you just said. If of course, number one, if you feel like your child or your child tried to kill themselves, your child is looking at you saying, I'm going to kill myself. If they have a therapist already or a psychiatrist already, you want to reach out to them and let them know what's going on and get further instruction.

01:39:15:12 - 01:39:32:19

Patrice Beard

If you don't have anything like that, then you want to take them to the pediatric e.R and drive them there and get evaluated, and let a pediatrician come in and speak to them and decide what's the best course of action to take.

01:39:32:21 - 01:39:54:16

Erin Croyle

Man, Patrice, we've gone from, you know, pink flags to suicide. And it feels heavy. So I really want to just make sure we touch on what some of the most positive developments you've seen around mental health are, and, but also places we need to grow. Can you tell us a little bit about that?

01:39:54:18 - 01:40:23:12

Patrice Beard

Well, that we talked about before stigma is better right. Especially in schools. Schools are talking about mental health now and acknowledging that mental health is a very serious thing. And it's just as important as our physical health, mental health. We've actually gone on to talk about mental health for our teachers. So when I do presentations now, it's not just about the children's mental health.

01:40:23:12 - 01:40:57:03

Patrice Beard

It's also about the teachers mental health. So we are coming to a better understanding that mental health affects everything. It affects grades, right? It affects relationships and affects test scores. It affects everything. And I think having that acknowledged now and how important that is, I think we've come a long way with that. I don't remember when I was a child teachers talking to me about mental health.

01:40:57:05 - 01:41:04:05

Patrice Beard

I mean, do you remember that at all? And now they have curriculums about it.

01:41:04:07 - 01:41:05:16

Erin Croyle

Oh, absolutely.

01:41:05:22 - 01:41:30:10

Patrice Beard

And that has come so far. It's come so far in a short amount of time. I'll say my child is 30, and I'll tell you when she was in elementary school and going through things and running out of the classroom and having panic attacks, my instruction was just to come get her and get her out of there because she was being disruptive.

01:41:30:12 - 01:42:02:11

Patrice Beard

I had an experience where my brother had passed away. My kids were in elementary school, and she was having a hard time in class. I was having a hard time getting up in the morning and getting my kids to school. So they were there were laid a lot, five, ten, 15 minutes late a lot. And for anybody that has kids in school, you know, at least in the county that I was, living, if you're tardy so many days that it counts as an absent.

01:42:02:13 - 01:42:21:05

Patrice Beard

So if you're tardy, like five days, then you get an absent. I remember I was called into the office that I dropped the kids off one day, and it was full knowledge that my brother had died recently and what was going on. So that should have been paying folks to the school, but to the teachers, to the school.

01:42:21:06 - 01:42:49:22

Patrice Beard

They all know what was happening. They all knew what took place. And instead of acknowledging or reaching out and saying, how can you support you? We know that you're going through a lot. We see that your kids are late. What can we do? And things like that. They decided to bring me in to the office with the teachers there and the social worker, break me and shame me and want an explanation of why my kids were late for school.

01:42:49:24 - 01:43:12:06

Patrice Beard

And so I completely went off and I left them all sitting there with their mouths open and basically saying, shame on you. Up and walking and getting up and taking them to school. You should be happy about that. You know what I mean? So from that to the way things are now, I don't think that would have ever happened to what happened now.

01:43:12:12 - 01:43:36:04

Patrice Beard

So I do think schools have come a long way. The latest statistic that I saw that that the suicide and self-harm arch is going down with kids. So the study I just told you about from the CDC was 2023. Takes a while to get statistics back from studies, but I'll probably do another study in like 26, 27 and, you know, see that is starting to go down a little bit.

01:43:36:09 - 01:43:54:10

Patrice Beard

So I think that's great. And I think just acknowledging it's great, I think by acknowledging it and having schools talk about it, kids feel more comfortable talking about it where we didn't talk about it when I was growing up or because it was a it was a stigma, was a shame, like mental health. What is that back up?

01:43:54:12 - 01:44:07:09

Patrice Beard

I mean, we knew about bullies and we had bullies in our schools and how it affected us and how it made us feel. And but now it's a different thing. So I think we've come a long way. I think we can come even further.

01:44:07:11 - 01:44:17:07

Erin Croyle

Yeah. And I mean, it also starts at higher ed where there's education about this for not just special ed teachers, not just social workers, but for all educators.

01:44:17:09 - 01:44:37:08

Patrice Beard

Right. And how many social workers do you have in one school? Right. I mean, sometimes you have social workers that have multiple schools, and half the time all they're doing is the IEP stuff or the 504 stuff. So they can't really focus. And then you've got the counselors doing that as well. And then for my daughter, she had a counselor assigned to her in high school.

01:44:37:14 - 01:44:57:12

Patrice Beard

And all that counselor did was paperwork. And if she was having a meltdown or feeling bullied or anything, she would say, oh, come on, sit in my classroom. But there was no interaction there. And I don't know, it's just I don't know. The answer is there's a lot going on there. I think obviously money is at the stem of it.

01:44:57:12 - 01:45:03:01

Patrice Beard

All right. So we could do anything we want if we had all the money in the world.

01:45:03:03 - 01:45:40:14

Erin Croyle

Yeah. When that I mean, that just kind of. And I don't want to end on something negative, but I do really want to, and maybe it's not so much a question, but just one last part of this conversation when we talk about taking those mental health days and taking those breaks that you need and self-care, it's something that I have explored in this podcast and in my writing and in my own life, where when you do attempt to take care of yourself, you have to put other things aside.

01:45:40:14 - 01:46:05:14

Erin Croyle

And so when you then reenter, taking a break or taking a vacation or recovering from surgery or taking care of a sick family member, then you have to catch up and it's like you're trying to get the help you need to be better, but you're coming back to four times the amount of work that just piles on. So how do we support one another in fixing this?

01:46:05:16 - 01:46:15:13

Erin Croyle

How do we spread the word about the way that we function as a society needs to change? I mean, how do we make this better?

01:46:15:15 - 01:46:32:01

Patrice Beard

Well, like I said before, we all have to. What works for me when it not work for you might not work for another person. So one person going away to the beach while I have the money to do that, and I have the time to do that, not everybody has that. That's why I said one size doesn't fit all.

01:46:32:03 - 01:46:56:09

Patrice Beard

So it could be your time is soaking in a tub for 30 minutes. It could be you're in your room doing something for an hour. I would say, be gentle with yourself and not make it so extreme. That's unattainable. You can get your self-care and you can feel your well. However your life circumstances allows you to do it.

01:46:56:09 - 01:47:13:11

Patrice Beard

Take that time and do it like I don't want to say one size fits all. I don't want to put any more guilt on a parent that probably already has so much guilt. Oh my gosh, now what am I doing? Self-care. Right now I don't have I don't have the money to do that. I'm a single parent. I can't do this.

01:47:13:11 - 01:47:31:11

Patrice Beard

I can't do that. So just do what works for you. If I can give any kind of advice at all, I would just be be gentle with yourself. Stop. Stop beating yourself down. You're doing the best you can. Do whatever you can with what you have. Maybe it's just talking to a friend on the phone. Just chill. You know what I mean?

01:47:31:11 - 01:47:58:18

Patrice Beard

Just take that time. Sometimes I'm talking to a parent on the phone, and the whole time we're talking about their child, their child, their child, their child, I will always make time to say, okay, now let's talk about you. What are you doing to take care of you? And a lot of times if they've been talking nonstop for an hour, that's the only time they'll be silent because they're stopping and thinking what happened.

01:47:58:20 - 01:48:31:20

Patrice Beard

Like I'm so focused on my child and understandably so that you've forgotten about yourself. So what are you doing to take care of you? There's always something you can do, whether it's sitting outside on your front steps or taking a quick walk or binge watching or I don't know what. There have been times my husband traveled a lot, and there were times where I've had to put up my boundaries and say, I don't have the energy for this right now.

01:48:31:22 - 01:48:51:17

Patrice Beard

Give me an hour. And I don't think there's anything wrong with that because I think your modeling behavior, your modeling, your behavior to your child, like I'm taking care of myself right now. I'm giving myself I'm important to love you, but I need an hour and then I'm going to connect that with you. And then I'll listen to what you want to talk about.

01:48:51:19 - 01:48:56:24

Patrice Beard

You know what I mean? So modeling that behavior is so important.

01:48:57:01 - 01:49:26:11

Erin Croyle

I do, and when you're saying this, I'm thinking because a lot of times I like I ask questions because I'm trying to think for myself. And, and families like myself and parents like myself, we allow ourselves to get to such a level of burnout where we feel like we need to just lay in bed for a day, and that day, then everything stacks up where, as opposed to that, I think we need to think about it like chipping away at a statue slowly.

01:49:26:14 - 01:49:57:19

Erin Croyle

What are the five little things I can do of self-care to just maintain, whether that be filling the water bottle and drinking it, making that doctor's appointment, going and answering emails on the deck instead of in a dark office. I think there are such, preconceived notions and honestly, the commercialization of self-care. But we really need to reframe what it is taking care of ourselves looks like.

01:49:57:21 - 01:50:22:05

Erin Croyle

So we're talking a little bit about how to care for ourselves. But the pink flags are also about people around us who might not have the privilege to listen to a podcast like this. To understand Patrice, I keep thinking about the person you mentioned to at at the checkout counter and, and I wonder what are the things that we can do throughout our day for those around us?

01:50:22:05 - 01:50:48:16

Erin Croyle

Like I tried to say, oh my gosh, I like your nails or something. When I'm somewhere for someone who doesn't have a job like yours and mine, where we can work from home. So for the people who might be having the worst day ever, but they've got to be public facing, what can we do to show kindness even if people aren't showing a pink flag but might be going through some stuff?

01:50:48:18 - 01:51:12:22

Patrice Beard

I think you just hit the nail on the button by showing kindness, just being observant and just being kind, just being nice sometimes just smiling to somebody just once. So how how was your day? How are you doing today? Like, that's all I did with that person that was working the cash register. I could tell something was maybe not, but she seemed a little, like very serious and abrupt.

01:51:12:24 - 01:51:30:02

Patrice Beard

Or she was kind of looking past me and not even know at me. And that's why I said, how's your day? How was your day? And she immediately is almost like you could see her shaking something off, you know, and she just kind of she was all, thank you for I'm like, okay, you know, just being kind to one another.

01:51:30:02 - 01:51:49:04

Patrice Beard

I know that sounds silly, just being kind to one another. We are all going through things. That's what helps me remember it, because have you ever been in a situation where you in the car or you're somewhere and you snap at somebody or you or you're like somebody cut you off and and you're like over the like, I know me, I'm a road ranger.

01:51:49:08 - 01:52:16:15

Patrice Beard

Like some funny type of like how I'm responding. I'm like, well, gosh darn, you know, like, that wasn't about me. That wasn't about that person. What? My goal. Like, I need to check myself. I'm. I'm stressed. I'm aggravated, I'm mad at somebody or whatever the situation and and how I react to others. I try to remember that. So when I'm on the receiving end of that, it helps me to remember that's not about me.

01:52:16:17 - 01:52:27:22

Patrice Beard

That's that's not about me. So I'm not going to react to that. I'm just going to try to take it like you. Good. That's what I tried to remember and that's how I try to behave.

01:52:27:24 - 01:52:57:11

Erin Croyle

Well, I love that you mentioned the car as well, because I think especially with how much time we all spend online and when we're our cars, we feel like when you're not face to face, whether it be comments on social media or in your car, there's a level of of animosity we give to one another where, man, it's really nice when someone just waves when they let you in on the highway or.

01:52:57:12 - 01:52:58:01

Patrice Beard

Yeah.

01:52:58:03 - 01:53:19:10

Erin Croyle

You just either don't comment on social media or give a heart on something, or just the kind of scenarios where no one even has to know who you are remembering. Like if you were talking that way to someone to their face, how would you actually say it? And probably the best example and and for people who are listening, they probably deal with this a lot.

01:53:19:11 - 01:53:42:20

Erin Croyle

You know, the amount of phone calls we have to make to insurance companies to handle medical bills or whatever, and those phone trees. And by the time you've hit the button and gotten cut off and you actually talk to a human, I literally have to check myself because I get to a level of frustration, and then I kind of vent at them and I'm like, I am so sorry, you're just the messenger.

01:53:43:01 - 01:53:52:12

Erin Croyle

I pull myself back and I'm like, oh my God, this is a human on the other line. So just remembering the human on the other side of whatever interaction we're at.

01:53:52:14 - 01:54:23:19

Patrice Beard

Going through, going through the same stuff to right, right. We're all going through stuff. This is hard times right now. We are all going through things. But I think if we all will just allow grace, respect, and just like, you know, keep your mouth shut. I have to say it, social media is horrible. I love like scrolling through different things, but it's amazing to me like I'll have to tell like family members don't be on it.

01:54:23:21 - 01:54:47:21

Patrice Beard

Like if it stresses you out, if it's causing you what I'm saying, cause you get out of it. That's the only thing. The only thing you can control is yourself. That's it. That's it. So thing you have control over is how you react to things. So if something is making you upset and causing you this kind of emotion, get off of it.

01:54:47:23 - 01:55:05:19

Patrice Beard

You know, I mean, I think I'm like the polar opposite. I keep my head in the sand. I don't know what I think that's going on, because to watch the news, to watch these things, it just sends me to where I can't sleep. It robs me of my peace. Oh well. Anything to rob me of my peace. I think that's why sometimes I get secluded in my house.

01:55:05:19 - 01:55:21:10

Patrice Beard

Because I'm like a peace here. Oh, look at my a little bubble, which is, like, not the best thing to do. But yeah. So anybody to rob me of my peace, if I can control that, if I know what's doing that to me, then I'm just not going to do that anymore. Yeah, I'm not going to be on social media.

01:55:21:10 - 01:55:42:06

Patrice Beard

I'm not going to watch the news. And at the same time, I don't want to talk about it either. And I have that right to do that. So if somebody is venting about something that causes me, then that's that boundary. We talked about. I don't want to talk about that. And I think if anyway, I'm just get off on a tangent, Erin.

01:55:42:06 - 01:56:04:14

Patrice Beard

But this social media is just killing me. My my daughter. I don't know why, but she posted her picture on this platform because she thought that it was a woman empowerment platform and that they would give her pointers, if you will, about her appearance. On what she could do to improve. And I'm thinking what in the world do you think?

01:56:04:16 - 01:56:21:19

Patrice Beard

She said within minutes she was in tears because these women were coming after her heart, just, oh they have souls like, you know like about her hair and the glasses like this and this or this. I'm like, why would we do that to one another? Why would we go out of our way like you were talking about social media.

01:56:21:19 - 01:56:31:15

Patrice Beard

Why would we go out of our way just to be nasty to one another when it was just as easily just said, go, girl, you rocket, you know, give full or just scroll through it, right? But I don't know.

01:56:31:18 - 01:57:04:20

Erin Croyle

We're just you know, I think sometimes people think being on their phones is self-care, but there are studies that show that all that time is actually really not great on our brains. And we're just it's the tip of the iceberg, what we're learning about how hard it is for us. And when I think about how addicting that scrolling can be as an adult who wasn't introduced into that until like their 30s and our kids being integrated into it now, yeah, that is some scary stuff.

01:57:04:20 - 01:57:24:18

Erin Croyle

And I think when we talk about mental health, we really need to learn boundaries and recognize that a fun show is one thing. But the rabbit hole that social media and even YouTube can take you on that can actually have some really negative impacts. And we have to really, really be careful for ourselves on there.

01:57:24:20 - 01:57:29:20

Patrice Beard

I can fall into that sometimes. I'll just like kind of like badge and especially with my ADHD.

01:57:29:22 - 01:57:30:13

Erin Croyle

Yeah.

01:57:30:15 - 01:57:52:23

Patrice Beard

Just that whole squash golf ball scroll, scroll. And then I just like how and then I'm thinking afterwards, how am I feeling now? Like, where am I right now? What where is my head right now? Am I am I smiling like when I watch Schitt's Creek or Ted Lasso? Am I smiling or do I feel, like I'm not anxious?

01:57:52:23 - 01:57:58:15

Patrice Beard

Right? Because being in tune with yourself and how you feel and when you're doing something. Yeah.

01:57:58:17 - 01:58:18:04

Erin Croyle

Well, Patrice, we're way over time, and I adore you. And I want to thank you. And I also want to say that after we're done here, I'm going to go in the mirror and very uncomfortably tell myself that I love myself five times. Five times. You better do the same. You said it's been a while.

01:58:18:06 - 01:58:18:17

Patrice Beard

Yeah.

01:58:18:17 - 01:58:24:19

Erin Croyle

And now feeling your own pink flags. And I'm seeing some. So why don't we both go do that and be very uncomfortable?

01:58:24:21 - 01:58:26:11

Patrice Beard

Yeah. Sounds like a plan.

01:58:26:13 - 01:58:27:22

Erin Croyle

Thank you so much, Patrice.

01:58:28:02 - 01:58:31:15

Patrice Beard

You're welcome. Thanks for having me. Always great talking to you, Erin.

01:58:31:17 - 01:58:39:03

Erin Croyle

Right back at you.

01:58:39:05 - 01:59:07:20

Erin Croyle

And thank you, listeners, for joining us. And please join Patrice and I in the I Love You practice. Go stand in front of a mirror and tell yourself with sincerity that you love yourself five times. Of course, you have to report back. I want to know how it made you feel. And while you're at it, be sure to share, review, subscribe, like, follow or whatever it is you need so you get a ping.

01:59:07:20 - 01:59:18:13

Erin Croyle

When our next episode drops. This is the Odyssey: Parenting. Caregiving. Disability. I'm Erin Croyle. We'll talk soon.