When Love Becomes a Shield: Understanding Enabling and Boundaries

The Party Wreckers

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What happens when love becomes a shield that prevents necessary growth? In this powerful episode, Matt Brown examines the complex psychology behind enabling behaviors and offers practical strategies for breaking free from destructive patterns that keep both families and their addicted loved ones stuck.
Drawing from over two decades of experience as an interventionist, Matt compassionately challenges the notion that addiction is simply about poor choices. He reframes addiction as a survival mechanism—sometimes the only thing keeping someone emotionally afloat despite devastating long-term consequences. This perspective shift opens the door to understanding why both the addicted person and their family members remain locked in patterns that perpetuate suffering.
The heart of this episode revolves around two transformative questions families must confront: "Have I enabled the addiction?" and "Have I been harmed by it?" These seemingly simple inquiries demand brutal honesty and lead to the most difficult realization—that we cannot control others, only ourselves. Matt walks listeners through the emotional parallels between addiction and codependency, revealing how both stem from avoiding uncomfortable feelings.
Perhaps most valuable are the practical insights on boundary-setting that actually works. Matt explains why boundaries must have integrity, why consequences matter, and how starting with smaller, manageable boundaries builds credibility over time. His approach empowers families to reclaim their lives while still supporting recovery in more effective ways.
For anyone caught in the exhausting cycle of enabling a loved one's addiction, this episode provides both the compassion and clear direction needed to begin making meaningful changes. Matt also announces a new weekly West Coast family support call starting June 15th at

Halfway To Dead, A Midlife Spiritual Journey
Midlife is freaking hard. Let's flip the script.
Listen on: Apple Podcasts Spotify

Support the show

Join us Every Sunday at 8:00 PM PST and Monday and Thursday Night at 8:00 PM EST/5:00PST for a FREE family support group. Register at the following link to get the zoom information sent to you: Family Support Meeting
About our sponsor(s):
Intervention on Call is on online platform that allows families and support systems to get immediate coaching and direction from a professional interventionist. While a professional intervention can be a powerful experience for change, not every family needs a professionally led intervention. For families who either don't need or can't afford a professional intervention, we can help. Hour sessions are $150.
Therapy is a very important way to take care of your mental health. This can happen from the comfort of your own home or office. If you need therapy and want to get a discount on your first month of services please try Better Help.
If you want to know more about the host's private practice please visit:
Matt Brown: Freedom Interventions
Follow the host on TikTok
Matt: @mattbrowninterventionist
If you have a question that we can answer on the show, please email us at [email protected]

Chapters

1. When Love Becomes a Shield: Understanding Enabling and Boundaries (00:00:00)

2. [Ad] Halfway To Dead, A Midlife Spiritual Journey (00:27:11)

3. (Cont.) When Love Becomes a Shield: Understanding Enabling and Boundaries (00:27:48)