146: Inflammation, Touch, & the Grieving Body (with Mary-Frances O’Connor)

The Thinking Practitioner

🎙Grief is not just an emotion—it’s a full-body experience. In this episode, Til Luchau talks with neuroscientist and psychologist Mary-Frances O’Connor, author of The Grieving Body, about how grief changes the brain, affects inflammation, and alters our physiology. They explore how attachment loss rewires the brain, how inflammatory responses shape behavior and mood, and how the body experiences grief via physical sensations.

They also discuss the role of touch, bodywork, and therapeutic presence in supporting people through grief, and together they reflect on the profound connections between grief, the body, and the healing power of human connection.
🔍 Key Topics:

• 04:30 – Grief and the brain: What happens in the mind-body connection
• 10:45 – Grief is not toxic: A new understanding of pain and loss
• 16:00 – How inflammation shapes behavior and mood in grief
• 24:00 – Attachment loss and the nervous system: Polyvagal insights
• 32:45 – The physical sensations of grief: aches, tension, and holding patterns
• 38:00 – Touch as co-regulation: What bodywork can offer in grief
• 44:15 – Grief as a lifelong, embodied process, not something to get over
• 50:10 – Practical insights for bodyworkers supporting grieving clients
• 55:30 – How understanding the body’s role in grief can transform our approach

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📄 Get the full transcript at Til or Whitney's sites!

• Whitney Lowe’s site: AcademyOfClinicalMassage.com
• Til Luchau’s site: Advanced-Trainings.com

Resources discussed in this episode:

• Two of Mary-Frances O’Connor's books:
  • The Grieving Brain https://www.harpercollins.com/products/the-grieving-brain-mary-frances-oconnor
  • The Grieving Body https://www.harpercollins.com/products/the-grieving-body-mary-frances-oconnor

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(The Thinking Practitioner Podcast is intended for professional practitioners of manual and movement therapies: bodywork, massage therapy, structural integration, chiropractic, myofascial and myotherapy, orthopedic, sports massage, physical therapy, osteopathy, yoga, strength and conditioning, and similar professions. It is not medical or treatment advice.)