E72 - Reciprocity

The Uncommon Communicator

Reciprocity in its simplest terms refers to a give-and-take relationship where two or more people exchange information or actions in a balanced and mutually beneficial way.

The automatic response that reciprocity creates is a feeling of obligation to return a favor or provide a similar action or information in response to what was given. When someone gives us something, we feel a natural urge to give something back in return.

To leverage this automatic response in conversations, it can be helpful to start by giving something of value to the other person. This can be in the form of sharing information, providing a resource, or offering help in some way. By doing so, you create a sense of obligation in the other person to reciprocate, which can lead to a more productive and engaging conversation.

It's important to note, however, that leveraging reciprocity in conversations should not be done in a manipulative way or with the expectation of receiving something in return. Instead, it should be done with a genuine desire to create a balanced exchange of information and build a mutually beneficial relationship with the other person. By using reciprocity in a genuine and authentic way, you can create a more positive and productive communication environment.

Example:

The game of catch: Reciprocity in communication can be compared to playing catch with someone. Each person takes turns throwing and catching the ball, creating a balanced exchange. If one person were to keep the ball to themselves, the game would not work. Similarly, in communication, if one person dominates the conversation and does not give the other person a chance to speak, the conversation becomes unbalanced and ineffective.

Here are some of the main points to keep in mind regarding reciprocity in communication:

1. Two-way communication: Reciprocity requires a back-and-forth exchange of information between two or more individuals. It is not just about one person transmitting information while the other passively receives it.

2. Active listening: Effective reciprocity in communication requires active listening, which means paying attention to what the other person is saying, asking clarifying questions, and providing feedback.

3. Trust: Trust is an essential element of reciprocity in communication. When individuals trust each other, they are more likely to engage in open and honest communication.

4. Respect: Mutual respect is another key component of reciprocity. Individuals need to respect each other's viewpoints and opinions, even if they disagree.

5. Shared understanding: Effective communication requires a shared understanding of the topic being discussed. Reciprocity helps to build this shared understanding by allowing individuals to clarify their thoughts and ideas and ask for clarification from others.

6. Positive outcomes: When reciprocity is present in communication, it can lead to positive outcomes such as increased understanding, improved relationships, and better decision-making.

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