#129: The exact one-liners I use in the classroom when responding to defiant or challenging behaviour (and why every teacher needs these!)

The Unteachables Podcast

What to do when a student flat-out says NO

[Get the FREE Calm Scripts Guide: https://www.the-unteachables.com/calmscripts]

Let’s talk about the moment every teacher dreads:
You’ve asked a student to follow an instruction… and they just say “No.”
Or ignore you.
Or crank the volume on their phone.
Or knock the work off the table.

Whether it’s passive defiance or full-on “get out of my face” energy, the stress response this triggers in us? Whewww. It’s real. And it’s raw.

In today’s episode, I’m walking you through how to respond to student defiance in a way that’s calm, regulated, and actually works.
No yelling.
No power struggles.
No public meltdowns.
Just 20 plug-and-play CALM SCRIPTS that help you hit pause, protect your values, and keep your credibility in check — even in the heat of the moment.

Whether you’re dealing with low-level noncompliance or outright oppositional behaviour, these phrases will help you hold firm boundaries without escalating the situation. They are a nervous system life raft — for you AND the student.

Let’s get into it.

What You’ll Learn:

• Why defiance hits teachers like a threat — and what your brain is doing in that moment
• Why “just staying calm” isn’t always realistic (and what to do instead)
• The #1 way to de-escalate student defiance without losing face
• 20 word-for-word calm scripts you can start using tomorrow
• How to practise these in low-stakes moments before things go off the rails
• Why protecting the nervous system is the secret sauce to credible classroom leadership

Have a question, comment, or just want to say hello? Drop us a text!

RESOURCES AND MORE SUPPORT:

• Shop all resources
• Join The Behaviour Club
• My book! It’s Never Just About the Behaviour: A holistic approach to classroom behaviour management
• The Low-Level Behaviour Bootcamp
• Free guide: 'Chats that Create Change'

Connect with me:

• Follow on Instagram @the.unteachables
• Check out my website

Chapters

1. Welcome to Unteachables Podcast (00:00:00)

2. The Challenge of Student Defiance (00:01:44)

3. Introduction to Calm Scripts (00:04:10)

4. 20 De-escalation Phrases for Teachers (00:06:30)

5. How to Practice and Implement Scripts (00:16:40)

6. Closing Thoughts and Call to Action (00:17:40)