Healing Through Prayer and Overcoming Abuse: Ronald Davis Part 1

The Wounds Of The Faithful

In this episode Ronald Davis shares his powerful story of overcoming abuse and finding healing through prayer. Ronald discusses his tumultuous first marriage, the deep impact of his relationship with God, and how intense prayer and faith led him to forgiveness and restoration. Diana and Ronald also explore the challenges men face in abusive relationships and the often inadequate support from religious communities. Ronald introduces his book, 'Thy Kingdom Come,' which delves into the transformative power of prayer and its role in personal and spiritual growth.

00:00 Sponsor Message: 7 5 3 Academy 00:48 Introduction to the Podcast 01:22 Diana's New Camera and Podcast Updates 02:26 Introducing Today's Guest: Ronald Davis 06:43 Ronald Davis' Background and Journey 08:04 Ronald's Early Life and Spiritual Awakening 10:59 Understanding Prayer and Its Importance 12:40 Ronald's First Marriage and Struggles 17:02 Healing and Restoration Through Prayer 21:12 Challenges Faced by Male Abuse Survivors 25:27 The Church's Role in Addressing Abuse 27:54 Conclusion and Next Episode Teaser Thy Kingdom Come: The Purpose and Power of Prayer thykingdomcomebook.com Bio:

Ronald Davis has been preaching the Gospel since his teenage years, driven by a deep passion for spreading the message of the Kingdom of God. With decades of ministry experience, he is known for his dynamic teaching and unwavering commitment to advancing God's Kingdom on earth. As the founder of Kingdom Truth Global, Apostle Davis equips believers worldwide with biblical truths, empowering them to live out their faith and walk in their God-given purpose. His life’s mission is to see lives transformed by the power of the Kingdom and to raise up leaders who will impact the world for Christ.

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Ronald Davis Part One

[00:00:00] Welcome to the Wounds of the Faithful Podcast, brought to you by DSW Ministries. Your host is singer songwriter, speaker and domestic violence advocate, Diana Winkler. She is passionate about helping survivors in the church heal from domestic violence and abuse and trauma. This podcast is not a substitute for professional counseling or qualified medical help.

Now here is Diana.

Hi everyone. How are you today? I'm glad that you're here with me for those that are watching on YouTube. I have a new camera today. Um, My old one, kind of, bit the dust and just got a new one. So hope I'm looking good for you guys. It's definitely high definition for sure. You could see my face very [00:01:00] clearly, probably too clearly.

I could see my flaws, imperfections, whatnot. But hey, I'm an authentic person. There's no filters on here. I. Yes, this is my skin. I've not done any work to it. No Botox, nothing like that. It's just me. I don't use AI for very much at all for the podcast. I I just started using it for maybe summarizing show notes, but that's pretty much it.

But anyway, that's what's new here on the show. I do have a great guest for you today. Those of you that have been listening for a long time on the podcast, we've had Shayna Rattler back on episode six.

Yeah, that was second season, talking about what is a God shift. Well, she contacted [00:02:00] me and said her husband has written a new book about prayer and that she asked if I would have him on the podcast. So me and Shana had such a great time that I was happy to have her husband Ronald Davis on the show.

He is a survivor of abuse from, looks like his first wife. I. His journey in prayer helped him to heal and prepare him for what God had next for him. So we're gonna be talking about his upbringing and his ministry. Of course, his story of abuse and how prayer played a big part in his recovery, and that's something that we all need more of is prayer.

Such a touchy topic for a survivor to talk. We're a survivor because we were going through this [00:03:00] transition of going through all this abuse and coming out of it, and. Abuse always affects our relationship with God, especially our communication with God. Many of us are on the couch or we're not really sure about where do I stand on the subject of my faith?

And that's okay. That's what the podcast is for, is we talk about these topics and we wrestle together for the answers. What does the Bible say about prayer? How does God feel about us? He wants to communicate with us and fellowship with us, and yes, we are asking for things with prayer, but we're also sometimes just sitting and listening and it's hard after you've been through an abusive.

Relationship or you're still in one, it's hard to hear God's voice in the midst [00:04:00] of the noise around you. So we're gonna definitely talk that out today. So, Ronald's book is called

Thy Kingdom Come, the Purpose and Power of Prayer, and you can purchase that on Amazon. I am gonna include the link in the show notes, of course. So I'll read what the book's about here. In this book, Ronald Davis takes you on a transformative journey into the heart of God's kingdom and the undeniable role of prayer in unlocking its power.

This book is more than just a guide. It is a called a Deeper Intimacy with God, a rediscovery of identity, and an invitation to experience the fullness of his purpose for your life. Through insightful revelation and biblical reference, you'll explore the different dimensions of prayer and how to communicate with God effectively.

Learn the key stages [00:05:00] of personal and spiritual transformation that align you with God's will. Understand the foundational connection between knowing your identity in Christ and walking in kingdom power. Discover the life-changing impact of intimacy with God on every area of your life. Whether you're a new believer or a seasoned leader, thy kingdom come, will empower you to deepen your relationship with God and live out his kingdom purpose in every aspect of your life.

Embrace the power of prayer. Embrace the purpose of the kingdom. Let your life be a reflection of his glory.

All right, sounds pretty good. so enjoy my conversation with Ronald Davis,

I'm so excited to welcome Ronald Davis on the show. Thank you for coming on [00:06:00] today.

Oh, you're, you're welcome. I definitely an honor to be here. I appreciate you having me.

So I was saying to the audience before you came on that. You are Shayna Rattler Davis's husband. So when she reached out, it was very exciting that you wrote a book about prayer and that you'd like to come on the show.

So any friend of Shayna is a friend of mine. So you said you were only married for five months? So far?

Yes.

Alright. How did you guys meet?

Well, believe it or not a mutual mentor of ours he reached out to me one day and he said he said he wanted to introduce me to someone.

He said, he thought about her about a year or so ago before he called me. He said, when he thought of her, he thought of me, but he knew at that time that I wasn't. By the leadership of the Holy Spirit. He just knew it wasn't time yet. So after a year or so, and what's funny is during that year I was in a deep [00:07:00] consecration and fasting before the Lord and seeking God.

So after the year of that is when he called me and, he felt like it was now that time to make that introduction. And once we met it, we've just been inseparable ever since.

Oh, that sounds fun. Now I'd like to get into a little bit about your history, your ministry how you were raised.

Were you raised in a Christian home?

I was. I was raised in a Christian home. But I was also raised in a very low income area. So it was two different worlds I was exposed to. My mom kept us in church, I got home to a father that was strung out on crack cocaine. And I had older brothers and siblings that were also contributors of drugs.

So I was like, I lived in a house in an environment of, drugs and fighting and, just being exposed to gangs and that lifestyle, that street lifestyle, that, the hood lifestyle where people would refer to it as but my [00:08:00] mom put us in church, so we knew all the Bible stories, we used to receive prophecies as children.

I remember receiving a prophecy that I was gonna be a preacher, my mom would threw it at my face at times. But when I was acting a fool and I wanted to do my own thing, but now look, I'm now writing books and glorifying Jesus many years later. But yeah, so that's kind of short version of my my household coming up.

When did you meet the Lord?

So I became serious about my relationship with God when I was about 16 years old, so from the time of, I'd say about 12, my mom stopped making us go to church, and I got more involved in like, as a young person in streets, sinning , using drugs, trying to sell drugs, trying to, adapt this lifestyle that I was, that was around me.

I was, I was never a good fit for it, though, I'll be honest. I'd do wrong and feel bad, it just wasn't a good fit for me. I always knew my whole life that I was different. I remember having the gun put to my face and and I was about 14, 15 years old. And if there was ever a time ever heard [00:09:00] the first time I ever heard the voice of God, it was that day I could hear as clear as day, you can't die.

I got work for you to

do. Mm.

And I wasn't even saved at the time, but that moment stuck with me to, to this very day. So I knew the hand of God was on my life, maybe 'cause of the upbringing in church. But I always knew God's hand was on my life, but I just thought it would be later in life that I would serve the Lord.

But at 16, I went to a revival. Well, just before I turned 16, I went to the revival and I seen people being healed. I seen children giving their lives to Christ, and the message was powerful, and the man of God was amazing. And I wanted to be a part of what the Lord was doing. So, I, did antar call and I gave my life to Christ.

And my life changed. People in my, my neighborhood saw me change. My school seen me change, so I went to being this bad kid in school to being the kid who was preaching in the hallways, telling people about Jesus. So it was a wonderful experience. I mean, and it's been a journey like everyone else, after we get saved, even that's sometimes when the story really begins,

[00:10:00] right. Yeah. I love hearing people's stories of how they came to Christ. They're all different in yours is, exception. When you came to Christ when was the first time you actually understood the concept of prayer? I mean, talking to God, was that a natural thing for you or a foreign concept?

Well, we've always taught, prayer in, in, in the church, but they didn't teach prayer like I know prayer now. They taught us we should pray. Mm-hmm. But they didn't really model prayer. I didn't know the way of consistent prayer. I didn't know the way of long prayer. So I would say my little daily prayers and as a young believer, just a level of zeal and hunger that we have for God.

So we spend a lot more time, praying, even not praying as much as I do now, but I, what I thought prayer was, I did it to the best of my ability, but more so for me, I was given to the word of the Lord, like my first few years of salvation. I would read the [00:11:00] Bible for hours. That was my way of communing with God.

This, studying the scriptures. So, by the time I was 18 years old, I was reading Systematic Theology by Charles Hodge. I was like, I was going deep in theology and breaking down the, historical background of the text. So before I was even 20, you would think I had went to seminary and I never did.

I just was so deep in the word. So that was the journey that God took me first. He, it's almost like he wanted me to get that word foundation. And then, my journey into prayer as far as the place of prayer that I'm in now is, was relatively later in life. So from that point,

I have that book, that systematic theology book.

It's wonderful. Had I had that through Bible college. So, definitely got a lot of meat in that book. I still have it on my shelf. I do know that you were married before to your first wife. Tell us as much as you're comfortable [00:12:00] with what happened there? How did you meet her and what was the relationship like with her?

Absolutely. So, that's a long story. I would give you the short version of it, oh yeah. Whatever you wanna do. I met my wife, in the church community, so we known each other from church. We served each other, we served each other in ministry. We took a liking to each other.

I was really strong in the word, strong in theology. She had a strong prophetic gift and it seemed like we were just a good fit, the things that I would be studying, she would know by intuition. Like she just know by prophetically. And I said very gifted. And then, I was very rich in the word, but I wouldn't consider myself like as prophetic as I am now, and so, make a long story short, when we kind of took a liking to each other and we decided to get married, that's when the journey really began where I realized that you can have extremely gifted [00:13:00] people. But hurt people, hurt people. That's not just a cliche. It is actually true when the people have deeply rooted issues.

It's hard for them to be loved, and it's hard for them to love. So, we had went through a season, when I first, I remember the first encounter where we got into an argument, a disagreement. And before you know it, somebody's throwing a blow. I mean, got punched in my face and I was in shock because this, this woman of God, this person I've just married, who I was so excited about, I think so highly of, lost control.

So, and when the things ,first stuff like this start happening, obviously you're in shock, but then because we're Christians, we try to be forgiving as much as possible. Now we're in this marriage, we don't believe in divorce. So you figure, okay, I'm gonna love her through her pain, and many people think this, I'm gonna love them through it, but in all actuality, it's like, if two people get some serious help. You can't love them through it. It just sets the stage for [00:14:00] continuous abuse later. ' you know what? You may not want it, but if you tolerate it over time, what happens is now you'll begin to see yourself unconsciously as one that's worthy of such behavior.

You know what I'm saying? Because what tells me that you feel like it's okay is because you stay. And I'll come back to that point later. But anyway, make a long story short, there was physical abuse, there was emotional abuse, there was psychological spiritual abuse. There was a lot of different things going on.

And I'm not by any means trying to paint the picture that I was perfect in this marriage. 'cause I wasn't. Right. Right. I was developing, I wasn't as secure. In my prayer life as I am now. So I was doing a lot mm-hmm. Religiously, I was doing a lot trying to figure it out.

I was doing a lot in the name of trying to love a person through it. I went through seven years of a marriage and I can't remember nine months of, 90 [00:15:00] days of consecutive peace. Yeah. I understand

that.

It was hard. Every, me too, it was just so hard. And as much as you prayed, as much as you tried to get through it, it's like it was always something, something just was never, it was never good enough. So after that, after everything we went through and the different financial hardship, that was the only source of income.

There's a lot. I don't gimme the short version of the story, but there was a lot that I suffered. There was a lot that she suffered. There was a lot that we went through together trying to make it work and it got to the point which eventually we separated due to financial hardship.

And in that separation. She blocked. I was blocked. I couldn't see my daughter. Blocked me on that, all the emails. And one thing I noticed about certain people with abusive personalities is they like to cut off all ties of communication. It's one of the ways that they inflict harm, whether they're doing it intentionally or not.

It's that narcissistic personality is one of the ways that inflicts arm, they now feel like you're gonna suffer. [00:16:00] I'm gonna withdraw my presence from you. And it makes you feel less valued because not you feel like you were the one done wrong, and then they're treating you as if you were the one that treated them the way you felt like you've been treated.

You know what I'm saying? Right, exactly. So in that, during that time of separation with no communication, I was able to find myself, I was able to see like, what is it about me that made it okay? Because even if it was, if this was gonna ever work, it wasn't gonna work like this. It wasn't gonna work.

Yeah. So after all of that. Not having access to my daughter coming out of that relationship, coming out of that marriage. I was broken. I didn't really want to do ministry anymore 'cause we was doing ministry together. I didn't wanna do ministry more, I still wanted, God, I just didn't want ministry.

So I was like, God, I needed to go through this process of healing. So I stopped, going live on Facebook. I stopped ministering, and I just began to shut down and just start working. And I went away for away from my, where I was [00:17:00] staying, went back home, felt like I needed to restore relationships, strengthened relationships back home that would, that would have been strained because of my relationship in this other marriage.

So during that time, somebody invited me to preach one of my friends, and they didn't realize that's where my healing process started. Because it's like once I, wow. Once I started preaching and I saw God use me even in my brokenness. It's like I realized that, okay, like I still, this is what I'm here for.

And I began to seek God in worship, began to see God in prayer, but still not at the level that I needed to. And there was many times on this period of time, I really felt like I hated her. I felt like, and then it was times where I couldn't see my daughter, so I felt that was really making me feel like a hater.

And after all of that, when I went on a deep consecration, after some time had passed, we ain't talking a while, but artist society, you know what, I'm [00:18:00] not gonna date. I filed for divorce. We ended up separated with divorce. She signed, and I still, it was a gap in time when I actually first started seeing my daughter, but I really began to seek God and has left that whole situation in his hands.

I began to cry to the Lord. I mean, I would fast and I would pray. I would pray from 10 to 3:00 AM in the morning. I sometimes I would pray 5, 6, 7 hours straight, just praying and seeking God, laying before him. And it was during that period of time that God really began to deal with me. He began to heal me.

Like I would spend hours cry. I didn't know you could cry. That many got tears. And it wasn't all tears of sadness. It was tears of restoration. It was tears. It was tears of joy. It was like a cleansing, it was deep, and God was reminding me that I am his child. He is reminding me of who I am in spite of what I've been through.

And I think the biggest challenge sometimes is to not identify yourself with your pain. Not identify yourself with a disappointment. [00:19:00] Because how another person treats you doesn't mean that's who you are. That just means how they treated you. So, but in that process of seeking God, God begins to restore me.

And in that process of restoration, I was able to truly, to forgive from my heart. Because what God did is he took me back to the time that she was a child and begin to show me what it felt like to be an abandoned child. What it felt like to be an abused child, what it felt like to go through different foster care systems and nobody coming to your rescue.

So he began to show me, he says, don't take it personal. She's hurting. And at that given moment, I cried with a deep cry and I began to like really just forgive. And it was that journey of forgiveness in complete, in, in wholeness that God was taking me through. That was preparing me for what was coming.

So I won't let you jump in 'cause I don't want to talk too much. If you have any questions. Anything like that.

No, I think you're saying your story very [00:20:00] eloquently hitting a lot of points that I can relate to. And I think, I mentioned to you that we have male listeners on the podcast that are survivors, that are listening is as well as the women.

And they're just starting to get exposure that men do suffer from abuse also.

Mm-hmm.

How did you feel as a man going through abuse? You touched a little bit in general, but as a man did you get any kind of pushback from your community, your friends, your church about, oh, well, men don't get abused.

You're the man of the house. You're supposed to be in charge, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. What was that like?

Well, the, the thing about most abusive relationships is you're in isolation.

Yes,

you're in isolation to protect your own image and also because you also want to protect the image of the person you trying to keep.

Especially when you're in [00:21:00] ministry, you don't want people to see her in the light of her flaws. You try to keep people seeing her in the light of her, her gifts and her, her calling, right? So in a lot of times what happens when you're a part of an abusive relationship of any kind, there's an isolation.

There's a pulling away from those who love you. You're not telling everybody your situation, even if they seen some of it from a distance. They don't know if it's continuing or not, because you're not sharing that information. And most men, we don't like to talk, we don't like to tell people what we're going through.

We kind of go through it ourselves. Meanwhile, we're feeling broken. We're feeling devalued. We're feeling disrespected. We're feeling unworthy, and no matter how anointed we are, no matter how handsome we are, when you go through something like that, it makes you feel like less. And the man you feel, you feel like your manhood has been taken from you, and you, what happens is when you're dealing with a certain personality, if you're not careful, you will lose your voice.

And one of the [00:22:00] last things that you can ever do and still re expect respect from a woman, for a man, is to lose your voice. Because if you lose your voice, you no longer lead . So, and to keep the peace sometime, we'll keep silent. So I did get a whole lot, I mean, some family members who knew what I got went through.

I mean, my best friend, he was like, bro, I don't even know why he went back type thing. Like he was like, he was on this, I should have ended it a long time ago. Like he was, he had a different perspective on it all together, but other than that, but there wasn't much from that perspective as far as a lot of pushback from the community or, or, negative talk because a lot of people didn't know the extent of what I was going through to after, even to this day, a lot of people still don't know the extent.

They just know my marriage didn't work, yeah.

I was in full-time ministry with my ex who was my main abuser. And the same thing, I put on the mask. I'm in [00:23:00] ministry, I have to have it all together. I need to protect my reputation. Even, the church's reputation and. I didn't like the way I was treated.

The church denomination I was in, devalued women and their their contributions and it was, submit. And that's the only role you have is to do what you're told. And when I wanted to get out, the church told me I couldn't. That is why I stayed and put up with it because the church said, well, you're gonna get excommunicated, you're gonna lose your ministry.

You're gonna lose your friends and you're gonna have to start all over again. And that's exactly what happened. But I left because I couldn't take it anymore. I'm like, I don't care anymore. I'm, I'm getting out. Yeah. There's only so much you can stomach and then you wake up one day, it's like, I, can't live like this anymore.

And God. I know [00:24:00] you're up there. I haven't been praying for a few years now because I don't think you're listening and but I'm getting out and taking the consequences of whatever happens if they shun me or kick me out for being divorced, so be it. I'll find another ministry.

Well, I was like you, I didn't wanna go back into ministry either. My ministry now is very different than church planting that I was doing before. But yeah. So I can relate to a lot of the things that you were saying. Some some parallel there.

I think the church has done a disservice.

For the most part, the religious community has done a disservice when it comes to matters like this. And believe it or not, we protect the abuser more than we protect the person that's being abused. And this whole idea of, just work it out, work it out, work it out, and they're not understanding the full weight of what's going on.

Like when [00:25:00] people have that, and I believe in deliverance, but I truly believe one of the hardest spirits to get rid of is that narcissistic, abusive personality that grows out a orphan spirit. Because that spirit oftentimes is the people are so far gone that even though they're conscious of what they're doing to you, they don't actually see themselves as being a bad person.

Right. You're making me lose control. You're pushing me to this point. Mm-hmm. And, and a of times they're very intellectual, they're very gifted. They're, and people, they're likable, to the average person. So people are like, yeah, you just gotta work it out. I mean, every marriage have tough problems.

No, I am being abused. I am being manipulated. I am being controlled. God did not create us to be controlled. This is why we always end up feeling some level of depression or a level of unsettling in our belly. Anytime you're under control, because it's not, you're not wired to function that [00:26:00] way, and it's just a matter of time that our, that dominion in us just ride and say, I can't take no more. I gotta get, because I know that, oh, God did not design me to be in control. Unfortunately, we have the enemy sometimes arranged marriages.

Mm-hmm. I

destinies and then he used religion to keep you in it.

You can't get your divorce. You can't. So he'll use scriptures to kind of keep you in something that he's the author of. Because God is not the author of abuse. God is not the author of confusion. God is not the author of disrespect. If my husband is not good and perfect for me, he didn't come from God.

I gotta have that. I have to know the word and be confident enough in the word to know that every good and perfect gift comes from above. I don't care how gifted, I don't care how anointed they appear. I don't care how intellectual they may be. If they're abusing me, they're manipulating me, controlling me.

That was not from God.

Yes, exactly.

[00:27:00] Something I give myself, I'm not gonna say God gave me this person.

well folks, this is a great place to stop our conversation. I know you want to hear more on prayer and how actually to commune better with God. So be sure to be with us next time on The Wounds of the Faithful Podcast. I wish you a great week. God bless you, and we'll see you next time. Bye for now.

Thank you for listening to the Wounds of the Faithful Podcast. If this episode has been helpful to you, please hit the subscribe button and tell a friend. You could connect with us at DSW Ministries dot org where you'll find our blog, along with our Facebook, Twitter, and our YouTube channel links. Hope to see you next week.