Cooperation: Going Farther Together

Things You Learn in Therapy

Cooperation sounds simple – working together to accomplish more than we could alone – but as parents and educators, we often struggle to maintain this focus as children grow. This candid conversation between Leslie Bolser and Dr. Beth Trammell explores how our emphasis on cooperation naturally diminishes as we begin prioritizing independence in our children.
For preschoolers, cooperation begins with sharing toys and parallel play, creating the foundation for teamwork. Surprisingly, allowing young children autonomy in tasks like tying shoes actually develops their capacity for future cooperation. The elementary years present a critical juncture where parents typically shift toward encouraging individual achievement rather than collaborative skills. Beth suggests intentionally highlighting moments when teamwork creates something "bigger, cooler, more amazing" than solo efforts.
The conversation takes an unexpectedly vulnerable turn when discussing the common mindset many parents inherited: "If you want something done right, do it yourself." This efficiency-driven approach – whether tackling children's school projects or household management – models isolation rather than cooperation. The hosts admit their own struggles with this mentality while offering practical alternatives: family projects with genuine collaboration, asking teenagers for specific help when overwhelmed, and openly discussing strategies for working with difficult people.
Perhaps most valuable is their emphasis on repair when cooperation breaks down. Showing children how to restart collaboration after conflict or isolation provides equally important lessons. Whether you're raising toddlers learning to share or teenagers preparing for their first job, this episode offers refreshingly honest perspectives on nurturing this essential life skill.
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Chapters

1. Welcome and Introduction (00:00:00)

2. Cooperation with Little Kids (00:02:38)

3. Elementary Age and Independence (00:05:32)

4. Modeling Cooperation at Home (00:07:36)

5. Asking for Help and Overcoming Solo Mindset (00:11:22)

6. Closing Thoughts and Resources (00:14:18)