Ep 138: Are we playing enough? The critical role of play across childhood with Kim Feeney

Things You Learn in Therapy

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The secret to effective child therapy isn't just what happens in the therapist's office – it's who's in the room. Kim Feeney, an Adlerian play therapist, makes a compelling case for why parental involvement isn't optional when healing children's emotional wounds.
"Parents are the experts on their child," Kim emphasizes, explaining how Adlerian therapy recognizes that all behavior serves a purpose within family systems. Without understanding a child's family atmosphere, therapists miss crucial context for meaningful intervention. Think about it this way: parents have 365 days of influence annually, teachers have 180 school days, while therapists might have just 45 sessions – who are the real change-makers in this equation?
The conversation explores common obstacles to family involvement in therapy and practical strategies for overcoming them. From scheduling challenges to parental discomfort with play, Kim offers straightforward approaches that honor both parent and child needs. Parents often arrive feeling defeated and overwhelmed, making the therapist's ability to validate their expertise while guiding new skills particularly crucial.
Beyond family dynamics, we dive into the concerning decline of play skills across childhood. Kim provides age-specific recommendations for meaningful play: non-directive approaches for preschoolers, collaborative projects for elementary children, and – perhaps surprisingly – continued playful connection with teenagers. "Teenagers need play too," Kim insists, suggesting parents allow teens to become the experts who teach them about their interests. Sometimes being "cringe" is exactly what creates breakthrough moments!
For fellow therapists, Kim offers wisdom about the patience required in child therapy. The process often involves several sessions before addressing presenting concerns directly. Through metaphorical play – puppet shows about fighting animals or games of "monkey in the middle" – children communicate their struggles in ways words cannot capture. "We're just planting seeds," she reminds us, with results that might not blossom until years later.
Ready to transform your approach to understanding and connecting with the children in your life? Discover more about Kim's work at butterflybeginningscounseling.com.

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Chapters

1. Introduction to Adlerian Play Therapy (00:00:00)

2. Why Parent Involvement Matters (00:06:02)

3. Overcoming Obstacles in Family Therapy (00:12:22)

4. The Value of Playing with Children (00:17:12)

5. Age-Specific Play Recommendations (00:24:53)

6. Connecting with Teenagers (00:36:45)

7. The Process of Play Therapy (00:40:17)